On a usual sunny morning,i had just finished doing what i always do on this particular day.Emptying the washen basket,cleaning the house,washing the dishes and sitting back to catch my breath.It so happened that my mind started drifting,to way back when i was still at school:
''What do men really take us for?''
''Ah-ah! Tia! Do i look like i know? Abeg!,I thought you were studying there? Please,gimme a break,i'm studying over here!''
''I mean,somebody can just look you in the eyes and confidently tell you that they just wanna have a sex relationship with you,you know? Like a fling.And still tell you that they've got a girlfriend,and that you and him shouldn't get emotional in the process! Can you believe that?''
I took off my reading glasses,put my pen down on the opened book,and turned to look at her, ''I can believe that alright! And still i ask myself why women cannot say a big NO to that!..by the way..why're you asking?''
''Thing's-you can't say no!''
''Ah-ah! Tia,what's difficult in saying no?''
''So many reasons i gues.You don't wanna get involved,you are sexually starved,you need an opposite sex's company sometimes,blah blah blah,you know? that kinda thing..''
''So,if you feel that way about it,why then again does it feel like you're against it?''
''Because,there won't be anything like 'not getting emotional'-''
''Tia! have you been having a...what did you call it?..a fling?''
''Something like that''
''What? please abeg,don't Tia me.I was lonely okay? Whatever i wanted to get started with Walter didn't work out you know that.I was lonely Jay.You donno how it's like-''
''Oh! My God! When was this?''
''Some weeks ago''
''And you never talked about it?''
''How was i? It was outta the way.You were gonna criticise me.That one i know...eish...i know i stooped so low Jay and i regret it,God knows how much i regret ever having that.''
''Then what happened?''
''I called it off''
''Because i was getting attached to the guy''
''What did he say?''
''That i should not try and fall for him.That i should try and hold my feelings back.He kept on reminding me that he's got a girlfriend.And that he loved her that much.And that we should both stick to what we agreed upon.No emotions-what we were having was a no strings attached thing.I was falling for him Jay.He said he could sense it in the way i responded to his love making-''
''You already fucked him? Good Lord! Tia!''
''Aaaagg! Jane,stop reminding me of my name.I know what i did was wrong okay?.I called it off now,aren't you happy for me? Ah-ah! relax now,i aint seeing the bloody guy anymore,and i won't have a thing like that anymore coz right now i feel so Godammn used.My self esteem,my dignity,are all gone-''
''Why didn't you tell me? I thought we talked about anything and everything?''
''I know girlfriend.Like i said i knew you were gonna criticise me.You had your P.S(Perfect Stranger) to talk to on the internet and i had none.I was kinda lonely you know?.Even though it was short lived,it was better than nothing at all...''
The Perfect Stranger.I haven't met the guy as yet.I just have his pictures.And some funny other ones that i love so much.He's in the U.K now and we'll be meeting eye ball to eye ball in May,like next month end.I haven't told Tia about it too.It scares the hell outta me coz i donno what she'll say about it.I'm so nervous now that the days are drawing nearer.I know a little about him.His family,but basically about him.At one point i had wanted to know a lot about him.I asked questions but i was told that,some of the things i wouldn't wanna know.So i decided to just keep it that way.What i don't know won't hurt me.
I haven't concluded anything though,just told myself to go with the flow.I gues i know more than there is to know about internet dating and i'm not gonna have my hopes high on this one in case i get disappointed.But you know how it's like now(like in Games Men Play-nigerian movie),it's so easy to fall in love with somebody on the internet and-.
''Jane? Are you there?''
''Ermmm..yah,yah i am.So did your fling guy object to your decision or not?''
''I gues not.He said something like,in whatever decision i take,i should make sure i don't get hurt in the process.''
''So..how are you?''
''No...i'm fine,you know?...i gues i'll be fine..''
''Now when you repeat the word fine like that i know you are not fine.But...well..anyway...i hope you'll be fine o!.Though one thing you should know girlfriend,is that all these little boys who tell you they just wanna have a fling with you,they'll always go back to their girlfriends.It's the same with married men.They'll give you everything you want,anything you want,anytime you want it,but the bottom line is,they'll always go back to their wives.All they'll do is expand you,keep on expanding you and expand you even more.If you are not careful with how you go about with all these your flings,the guy who's gonna marry you won't find anything left down there! You know what i'm talking about right?''