Monday, March 17, 2008

Forgive And Forget

As children of God, everyday we wrong him in everyway possible, but everyday He does forgive us. Who are we not to forgive people who wrong us? I once suggested this topic on national radio, and it won a lot of votes for it to be discussed. And believe you me it was a heated argument. I was like at which point do somebody REALLY say they’ve forgiven someone else? Totally forgiven them? And what does it take for somebody to say they’ve forgiven another person?

The truth is you can say that you’ve forgiven someone. But sometimes when you sit and look deep into your heart, you’ll still feel that urge to revenge on the person who wronged you. Do you guys still remember Lebo? The girl I once wrote about. That my ex and I used to be their housemate? Okay, here is how it was. I was still co-habiting with the guy I got engaged to in 2004. When he started work, he was allocated a house at one of the flats in Gabz. Because he wasn’t married, he was gonna share that house with one of his co-workers. That co-worker of his was a lady who had a teenage daughter, Lebo. My ex and I took this little girl as our lil sister you know? Sometimes we’ll help her out with her school work. Sometimes I’ll permit my ex to take her out to the afternoon movies if I had something to do, maybe at work or something. Sometimes I’ll go shopping with her. Buy her anything she wanted. We even have a blue boobtube top that look exactly the same, because I bought it for myself, and when she saw it, she said she wanted it too. So I got him to buy it for her. She was really like a sister. Especially that she is the only child and I’m the only child too, so you know, the feeling, like they say, was mutual. She is 7 years my junior.

When we moved to our own flat, Lebo and I didn’t lose any touch. She used to come to our house. Stay there. Help me bathe the kids. Sleep over. Stay with the kids while my ex and I went out. You know?, she helped out in everything. She was there all the time. She was even there when i and him started having problems. I still remember the sms’s we exchanged during that time.

To cut the long story short, when I moved out of my ex’s house Lebo moved right in! Ha! Sometimes you just can’t believe some other things would you? No matter how much you try. Of course I had problems with that. I started asking myself, when did their relationship really start? Were they still going out when we were still sharing the house? Did I give them space to be together, all those times I permitted him to take her out? Sometimes I went home to my mum alone, and he stayed behind. Did I give them enough chance to do whatever they were doing? Did I push him to her? Was Lebo taking advantage of my being nice to her? I mean, my ex and I used to talk to her mum. To let her be, because he mother was always after her! Like she had to come home early. She didn’t have any friends. She wasn’t allowed to leave the house even on weekends, unless my ex or I went out with her. She was supposed to answer her cell phone right here, in the sitting room, no snicking out! And when I came to know that my ex and Lebo were going out, and that HER mother was in support of the relationship, I was like, all that time, was she preparing Lebo for the guy? God!!!

Okay. I came to leave with it. I accepted it. I was like okay fine, I’ve lost him to her. No problem. We talking 2005. And since then I haven’t really gotten to know how they are doing and all. Really I let things go, decided to move on with my life. But just as I thought my life with them was over, it has started again.

I’m pictured here with Lebo. Faith is that one in a red sweater. We were at Doc’ kitchen top-up party the weekend before. Yes she came. I guess with my cousin Faith. We hugged. And later she asked to see me in private…guys…that was really like a nightmare…!

And then on Monday when we were at the office and people were by my computer, looking at the party pictures, they wanted to know what Lebo was doing at the party because she had wronged me? My people, I don’t take it that Lebo wronged me, like I told her when she wanted to apologize that night, ‘’You didn’t wrong me in anyway. I just take it that Rogy wanted to get back at me, and you only happened to get caught in the act. It wasn’t your fault. Really. To me, you are still my kid sister.’’ Yeah you guessed right. She cried. Especially now that her and the guy are not together anymore.

When she asked to see me in private that party night, she told me everything that happened between her and him. Everything. I donno why, people say that I’m a good listener. Lebo told me that some of the things she told me that night, she never told anyone. Not even her very own mother. She wanted to know how I got over the guy. She wanted to know how she could get over him. She wanted me to help her out. Help her heal. I didn’t tell her much. Just a few words. ‘’You might think that you’ve wronged me, but like I said, I don’t take it that way. I have forgiven you and forgotten everything that happened. So do likewise: Forgive and Forget.’’

So guys, I wont update until the 1st of April. I’m expecting something to happen from the 20th till the 28th March. Up till then, take good care of yourselves, and have a blessed Easter Holy’s. When we come back, and if you all are luck, I’ll tell you all about it. If you ain’t lucky, then just forgive and forget!

Ciaaooo!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

A Reason To Believe

The main thing i wanna know from you guys is- What's the real reason why people get married?

A friend of mine, Dan, said he got into marriage bcoz his girlfriend came to him and said, ''I'm pregnant!''. And then he was like, ''Okay fine, lets get married''. And that was that.

I saw him over the weekend and he said the marriage is on the rocks and they are in the process of getting a divorce. Dan will be 28 this year and he got married at 25. His baby boy is 3 years now. Such a lovely thing.

When we got talking, he told me how he got into that marriage thing for all the wrong reasons. He said he realised later, that the two of them, had personalities that differed a great deal.

Is it because of these different personalities that drives people getting divorced at the end? Why get married at first when there are certain things that makes the two of you different? I want to know the real reason why people marry. And why does everything else change after getting married? Its like when eveything changes after a baby is born into a relationship.

When the two of you are still dating, and no talking about marriage, no talking about having a baby, everything runs so smooth. But the minute you get married, or the woman falls pregnant, everything changes. The relationship changes. Why?

When i got engaged to my ex, in 2004, i wasn't ready for marriage. He bought that ring bcoz we fought- well not physically fighting, but argued a lot that morning, and i threatened to leave, and then, later he slipped that band on my finger, but i wasn't smiling, i wasn't surprised, i didn't cry, i wasn't happy, i didn't like it at all. Just that i felt sorry for him, coz he was trying by all means to make things right.
That engagement didn't even go as far as walking down the aisle, bcoz it was all for the wrong reasons. I think i wrote a story on that sometime ago. How it all ended and all.

Even up till now i'm still asking myself that, if at all i had gotten married that time, what wud have been my reason today for the marriage? As i didnt have a solid reason to get engaged that time.**sends out a lil laugh**..you know i even remember we went home to tell my mum, and i remember we were seated together outside the house and my mum was asking both of us if we knew exactly what we were getting ourselves into...

...anyway, whats your take on this?

And like i said, Doc's kitchen top-up was a blast! Right now she doesnt have space in her kitchen. Some of the presents are inside the guest rooms. I'm just so lazy to upload pictures. Sorry guys.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

A Family Affair

Guys, thanx to all of you who commented on my last post. Was really busy the whole week couldn't reply there and there. But thanx all the same.

Another one of those weekends in already here, and part of this whole week has been spent preparing for my cousin, Dorcas' kitchen top-up party which will be held at her house tomorow. I know Afrobabe has been dying to see some of my dirty pictures at any function. So Afro, and all of you guys, i promise a lot of those kinda pictures when we come back from the weekend. This time i'll be keeping my cool coz it won't be my thing.

I was gonna up load an invitation card a dear friend of mine designed for the occasion, beautiful thing, but i remembered that it has my numbers on it. I dont trust people like Pamela, who won't leave me in peace, by calling even in the wee hours of the mornings. Yes, thats what she said, the other time, when i complained about people giving me a head ache by calling. She said if she knew my number she was gonna be one of them. So..yeah..

Guys..be careful over the weekend hey? And enjoy this read as you head for the weekend. This really left me lost for words! Can something like this happen? I mean in real life?:

A young lady matriculant is going to matric dance with his biological brother because she didn't have a date. On their way back home after the matric dance her brother says to her:
''If I wasn't your brother I'd pull over and park 500m from the road''.

''Pretend you are not my brother and pull over''. she replied!

He pulled over and said "If I wasn't your brother I'd kiss you until you sweat''.

''Pretend you are not my brother and kiss me until I sweat''. she replied!

He kissed her and said" If I wasn't your brother I'd fu...ck you like hell''.

She said: pretend you are not my brother and f...ck me like hell''.

They made love, enjoying every moment of it and after they finished she said to her brother: ''Your D*ick is as big as Dad's.''

And he replied: ''That's what Mom always tells me!''

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Standing Outside The Fire


We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned

We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always comes with getting burned

But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
We call them strong

Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
They're so hell-bent on giving, walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire
Standing outside the fire

Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire
There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide

If you're standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire