On a usual sunny morning,i had just finished doing what i always do on this particular day.Emptying the washen basket,cleaning the house,washing the dishes and sitting back to catch my breath.It so happened that my mind started drifting,to way back when i was still at school:
''Jane''
''Yeah girlfriend?''
''What do men really take us for?''
''Ah-ah! Tia! Do i look like i know? Abeg!,I thought you were studying there? Please,gimme a break,i'm studying over here!''
''I mean,somebody can just look you in the eyes and confidently tell you that they just wanna have a sex relationship with you,you know? Like a fling.And still tell you that they've got a girlfriend,and that you and him shouldn't get emotional in the process! Can you believe that?''
I took off my reading glasses,put my pen down on the opened book,and turned to look at her, ''I can believe that alright! And still i ask myself why women cannot say a big NO to that!..by the way..why're you asking?''
''Thing's-you can't say no!''
''Ah-ah! Tia,what's difficult in saying no?''
''So many reasons i gues.You don't wanna get involved,you are sexually starved,you need an opposite sex's company sometimes,blah blah blah,you know? that kinda thing..''
''So,if you feel that way about it,why then again does it feel like you're against it?''
''Because,there won't be anything like 'not getting emotional'-''
''Tia! have you been having a...what did you call it?..a fling?''
''Something like that''
''God! Tia!''
''What? please abeg,don't Tia me.I was lonely okay? Whatever i wanted to get started with Walter didn't work out you know that.I was lonely Jay.You donno how it's like-''
''Oh! My God! When was this?''
''Some weeks ago''
''And you never talked about it?''
''How was i? It was outta the way.You were gonna criticise me.That one i know...eish...i know i stooped so low Jay and i regret it,God knows how much i regret ever having that.''
''Then what happened?''
''I called it off''
''Why?''
''Because i was getting attached to the guy''
''What did he say?''
''That i should not try and fall for him.That i should try and hold my feelings back.He kept on reminding me that he's got a girlfriend.And that he loved her that much.And that we should both stick to what we agreed upon.No emotions-what we were having was a no strings attached thing.I was falling for him Jay.He said he could sense it in the way i responded to his love making-''
''You already fucked him? Good Lord! Tia!''
''Aaaagg! Jane,stop reminding me of my name.I know what i did was wrong okay?.I called it off now,aren't you happy for me? Ah-ah! relax now,i aint seeing the bloody guy anymore,and i won't have a thing like that anymore coz right now i feel so Godammn used.My self esteem,my dignity,are all gone-''
''Why didn't you tell me? I thought we talked about anything and everything?''
''I know girlfriend.Like i said i knew you were gonna criticise me.You had your P.S(Perfect Stranger) to talk to on the internet and i had none.I was kinda lonely you know?.Even though it was short lived,it was better than nothing at all...''
The Perfect Stranger.I haven't met the guy as yet.I just have his pictures.And some funny other ones that i love so much.He's in the U.K now and we'll be meeting eye ball to eye ball in May,like next month end.I haven't told Tia about it too.It scares the hell outta me coz i donno what she'll say about it.I'm so nervous now that the days are drawing nearer.I know a little about him.His family,but basically about him.At one point i had wanted to know a lot about him.I asked questions but i was told that,some of the things i wouldn't wanna know.So i decided to just keep it that way.What i don't know won't hurt me.
I haven't concluded anything though,just told myself to go with the flow.I gues i know more than there is to know about internet dating and i'm not gonna have my hopes high on this one in case i get disappointed.But you know how it's like now(like in Games Men Play-nigerian movie),it's so easy to fall in love with somebody on the internet and-.
''Jane? Are you there?''
''Ermmm..yah,yah i am.So did your fling guy object to your decision or not?''
''I gues not.He said something like,in whatever decision i take,i should make sure i don't get hurt in the process.''
''So..how are you?''
''No...i'm fine,you know?...i gues i'll be fine..''
''Now when you repeat the word fine like that i know you are not fine.But...well..anyway...i hope you'll be fine o!.Though one thing you should know girlfriend,is that all these little boys who tell you they just wanna have a fling with you,they'll always go back to their girlfriends.It's the same with married men.They'll give you everything you want,anything you want,anytime you want it,but the bottom line is,they'll always go back to their wives.All they'll do is expand you,keep on expanding you and expand you even more.If you are not careful with how you go about with all these your flings,the guy who's gonna marry you won't find anything left down there! You know what i'm talking about right?''
Showing posts with label Tia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tia. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Turn Of Events
I wanted to tell you guys about a wedding I attended back home over the weekend. Especially the part where the bride was being told the rules of in a marriage by the elders. These were just small small kids getting married oo! 1982(groom) and 1986(bride). I winced at the part where they told her that she’s not supposed to ask her husband where he is coming from, if he comes late at home! Ha! Can you imagine? So my husband comes home in the wee hours of the morning and I’m supposed to keep quiet? Tufia! And when I get diseases like HIV/AIDS I’m still supposed to keep mum? Ehh? Maybe then(in those elders’ time), but not now! Not in our time!
But now there’s a situation.
Tia sent me an sms Sunday night, that the guy who impregnanted her is late! You remember that married guy? To my surprise, all along I had thought Tia will always tell me what could be happening in her life now,considering that she’s even pregnant. But goshh..she’s been seeing this guy again! Behind my back! Am I not a friend now? But I been there for her all this time! Why would she go see this guy again after he abandoned her when she told him about the pregnancy?
Immediately the sms went through I called. She was using a number I didn’t know. So I called her in her phone. She is crying and doesn’t wanna talk. She was with someone,and she gave that person the phone,some girl. I was even shaking myself,for what I didn’t know.I asked the girl on the phone, ‘’When?’’. ‘’Today around 12 noon’’. ‘’What was wrong?’’. ‘’We donno, but something to do with his heart and he was also asmatic’’.
I also came to learn that Peter*(not his real name) had problems with his wife two weeks before. The wife had mentioned she was divorcing Peter. Has she heard about the pregnancy or what? I got scared for Tia. You know in this country if you are caught messing with somebody’s husband(legal) it’s either you get a jail term or pay a fine of above P50,000. So I don’t really know why the wife was divorcing. What if Peter was doing somebody else and maybe the wife found out? What if she found out about Tia,and maybe not the pregnancy? Dammnn! But I told Tia now! With all the flings she was having and all….last nite we got talking…Tia couldn’t stop talking about their memories together…
‘’Jane, kana a kere I can’t go to the funeral. Even though he mensioned that his wife was leaving him, he died still a married man. His last sms to me was, ‘’hi love, I’m still in hospital and pennyless’’, when I asked for airtime. Then b4 going F/town, I smsed him saying, ‘’baby why are you quiet?’’. No response. A few days back when I was coming from Orapa we came together when he was going to one hospital in South Africa. That was the longest and last time I ever spent with Peter. We started from O/town at 9am and arrived in Gabz around 8pm. We went to his cousin in Palapye, spent three hours there, we left and stopped at Mahalapye for some drinks. Still on the way we stopped at Mosaditshwene, all the way, he was telling me about his life. He said he wished that he had married me instead. He checked in at The Grand Palm. We spent the night at the Mertcourt. He said to me that if my passport was fine we could go together to South Africa.When he asked if he could drop me off at my house in the morning, I declined, saying I’ll get a taxi home. He left and said when he came back I should go with him to help him choose a big mirror for his sitting room and that he wanted to buy ceiling materials for his new house. That was the last time I saw my Peter live. Next up was his sms saying that he’s been admitted in hospital in Orapa. That was two weeks ago. I told him that I think somebody was bewitching him. And he said, ‘’I’ll be fine my love’’. Jane I can’t sleep at night, I’ve never cried like this in my entire life ’’..
‘’Aaaagg shame..so many memories. But you’ll have to go.Traditionally we believe that when you pay your last repects to and looking at him in that coffin/casket, he’s also looking at you. So I gues he’ll be glad you came to say goodbye. Just go. For his sake. For your sake. I’m really very sorry too Tia. I didn’t even know that this guy was sick!’’
‘’It was an on and off thing. He was asmatic, sometimes felt dizzy,and he had high blood. Somehow I think he was saying goodbye to me that time we spent together from O/town. We spent 12 hours on the road-from Orapa to Gabz. Least he knew I loved him and was there whenever he wanted to talk. Last night I couldn’t sleep. His cousin and little brother said that I have to come to the funeral. Eish I donno…’’.
‘’Like I said. I think you also have to go. Lemme know when you’ve made up your mind. I can come with you. But it’s for the best. So that you may let go of him. Else you are not gonna lead a normal and healthy life. Remember how pregnant you are? If you don’t go you’ll stress your self up and it’s gonna affect the baby.’’
Guys it’s really hard for Tia. I’ve never seen her this distraught. It’s like she’s finished. It’s like her whole life has been taken swiftly like that from her. But again, this guy was harsh to my friend when she told him about the pregnancy. Why does she feel this way about him when he’s gone? Okay maybe they made up all the time that I didn’t know she was seeing him again. Maybe things got back to normal. Maybe the guy now came around and accepted the pregnancy. Maybe I don’t understand because I aint the one wearing the shoes.
But now there’s a situation.
Tia sent me an sms Sunday night, that the guy who impregnanted her is late! You remember that married guy? To my surprise, all along I had thought Tia will always tell me what could be happening in her life now,considering that she’s even pregnant. But goshh..she’s been seeing this guy again! Behind my back! Am I not a friend now? But I been there for her all this time! Why would she go see this guy again after he abandoned her when she told him about the pregnancy?
Immediately the sms went through I called. She was using a number I didn’t know. So I called her in her phone. She is crying and doesn’t wanna talk. She was with someone,and she gave that person the phone,some girl. I was even shaking myself,for what I didn’t know.I asked the girl on the phone, ‘’When?’’. ‘’Today around 12 noon’’. ‘’What was wrong?’’. ‘’We donno, but something to do with his heart and he was also asmatic’’.
I also came to learn that Peter*(not his real name) had problems with his wife two weeks before. The wife had mentioned she was divorcing Peter. Has she heard about the pregnancy or what? I got scared for Tia. You know in this country if you are caught messing with somebody’s husband(legal) it’s either you get a jail term or pay a fine of above P50,000. So I don’t really know why the wife was divorcing. What if Peter was doing somebody else and maybe the wife found out? What if she found out about Tia,and maybe not the pregnancy? Dammnn! But I told Tia now! With all the flings she was having and all….last nite we got talking…Tia couldn’t stop talking about their memories together…
‘’Jane, kana a kere I can’t go to the funeral. Even though he mensioned that his wife was leaving him, he died still a married man. His last sms to me was, ‘’hi love, I’m still in hospital and pennyless’’, when I asked for airtime. Then b4 going F/town, I smsed him saying, ‘’baby why are you quiet?’’. No response. A few days back when I was coming from Orapa we came together when he was going to one hospital in South Africa. That was the longest and last time I ever spent with Peter. We started from O/town at 9am and arrived in Gabz around 8pm. We went to his cousin in Palapye, spent three hours there, we left and stopped at Mahalapye for some drinks. Still on the way we stopped at Mosaditshwene, all the way, he was telling me about his life. He said he wished that he had married me instead. He checked in at The Grand Palm. We spent the night at the Mertcourt. He said to me that if my passport was fine we could go together to South Africa.When he asked if he could drop me off at my house in the morning, I declined, saying I’ll get a taxi home. He left and said when he came back I should go with him to help him choose a big mirror for his sitting room and that he wanted to buy ceiling materials for his new house. That was the last time I saw my Peter live. Next up was his sms saying that he’s been admitted in hospital in Orapa. That was two weeks ago. I told him that I think somebody was bewitching him. And he said, ‘’I’ll be fine my love’’. Jane I can’t sleep at night, I’ve never cried like this in my entire life ’’..
‘’Aaaagg shame..so many memories. But you’ll have to go.Traditionally we believe that when you pay your last repects to and looking at him in that coffin/casket, he’s also looking at you. So I gues he’ll be glad you came to say goodbye. Just go. For his sake. For your sake. I’m really very sorry too Tia. I didn’t even know that this guy was sick!’’
‘’It was an on and off thing. He was asmatic, sometimes felt dizzy,and he had high blood. Somehow I think he was saying goodbye to me that time we spent together from O/town. We spent 12 hours on the road-from Orapa to Gabz. Least he knew I loved him and was there whenever he wanted to talk. Last night I couldn’t sleep. His cousin and little brother said that I have to come to the funeral. Eish I donno…’’.
‘’Like I said. I think you also have to go. Lemme know when you’ve made up your mind. I can come with you. But it’s for the best. So that you may let go of him. Else you are not gonna lead a normal and healthy life. Remember how pregnant you are? If you don’t go you’ll stress your self up and it’s gonna affect the baby.’’
Guys it’s really hard for Tia. I’ve never seen her this distraught. It’s like she’s finished. It’s like her whole life has been taken swiftly like that from her. But again, this guy was harsh to my friend when she told him about the pregnancy. Why does she feel this way about him when he’s gone? Okay maybe they made up all the time that I didn’t know she was seeing him again. Maybe things got back to normal. Maybe the guy now came around and accepted the pregnancy. Maybe I don’t understand because I aint the one wearing the shoes.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
What Is It In A Name?,ie,Name Tag
Hi everyone! Hope you guys had a great weekend.Yes weekend,coz i just reported to work like today.So to me today is my monday.We had what we call long weekend.It was President's Holidays monday and tuesday,and Oh God! had my most resting time i ever needed.Yes i'm back with a bang and i been doing the rounds in blogville before i can sit here and bore you with my escapades of the (long)weekend.
It's Tia again.My cousin,Faith came over from college(where she's studying to become a teacher-if i hadn't quit my teacher training thing too,there was gonna be two teachers in my family.Well thats the past now..don't need to cry over spilt milk do i?) Okay yes she came and she and i visited Tia at her house.
You know these days she just wanna be with me all the time,because when she called me monday morning to come over she was like, ''hey wena,you better hurry up,coz i miss you this side''. Ehh? Tia missing me? Wassup with this girl? I think the pregnancy is starting to get to her now.You know how it's like when you pregnant? Dammnit! i'm not refering to the boys and those girls who haven't fallen pregnant before okay? When you are pregnant there are somethings you don't want,you just naturally develop hatred for, you see? There are people you don't wanna see.Like i hated Vicky's dad so much when i was still carrying her(Vicky).There are things you want and don't want to eat.
Oh! again,some people wanted to know what happened after Tia told me that she was pregnant for a married man right? Ermm..well we talked a lot about it.I just told her that it wasn't the baby's problem,and that she wasn't goinno punish that soul for what she(Tia) did.I told her it was gonna be fine.With me,her family and the people who loved her around,everything was goinno be just fine.On the days that followed we ate out a lot coz she always said she was craving for a Wimpy double bugger...that brought a smile to her face everytime she had it,and i figured she was begining to see reason with me,for her to keep that baby.
So hey guys,Tia and i are very much excited about the baby.Hope you are too.See now she's getting that pregnancy complexion,just getting more beautiful everyday.Problem is she gets very moody sometimes! Yes it has already started oo! But you know me now? I know these things.I been there done that,you can put it that way...lol
So when we get to her house,dang! can you believe this? she asks me to cook for her! ''Ah-ah Tia please we just got in,You should've prepared something for your visitors now-abeg''..Holy God! Gues what happened next! She's crying oo! Just because i complained! Oh no! am i goinno start baby-sitting already? with this big mama? Was i really like this with my first pregnancy? i don't remember!
Okay.I decide to abide by the rules now.I don't want her to hurt anymore.Anything she's gonna ask i'll do without complaining.Provided i can.I don't want her to hurt the baby.So i did the cooking(i must admit i'm aint good at this, somebody somewhere knows that i can't do good at this,but i'm learning now,i gues i'll be better the next time we meet) ,she's there gisting with Faith.I've never known Tia could be so talkative.Can somebody really change like that when they fall pregnant?
We are done with eating neh? So now it just happened that we ended up tryina come up with names for the baby.It was a very difficult thing to do.Because we had to come up with 4 names(two Tswana names-girl & boy and two english names-girl & boy).Everytime i tried to say out a name and Tia didn't like it,she'll lash out at me! I donno...one minute she's all over me,the next she wants to kill me! Hee bathong! This girl!
English names are so very easy to pick.You can go sit and meditate in the toilet,then all of a sudden come out screaming Tom,Tim,Ben,Arnold,Peter,Donald,Jerry for boys or waking up from a deep sleep you can shout Lizzy,Emily,Samantha,Mary,Judy for girls.But with our traditional names you have sit and scratch your head because it has to come with a very meaningful meaning.
My middle name is Seane.This just means Proverb,not any proverb in particular,but just that word.Vicky's middle name is Tsholofelo.It means Hope.It's my mum who named her that one.I never came up with any name for her.My mum called her Tsholofelo and her father called her Victoria.Don't ask me why i never named her.And then Jnr's middle name is Thatoyaone.It means God's Love,but again this guy loves me oo! When i'm home he never leaves my side.When they are watching t.v and they are sitting down on the mat,you know how it's like with traditional women,kids don't sit on seats when watching t.v especially when other neighbouring kids are over,so when they are sitting on the mat,Jnr is here by my feet.
And then Jeddah's middle name is Motshidisi,meaning Life Saviour.Dammnit! no wonder he looks out for his brother and sister!
So then in that case you have to be careful which name you came up with because i tried to bring forward Dikeledi,meaning Tears,which is my grandmother's name.Yes i wanted to name Tia's baby after my grandma.She almost broke my neck!
What does your name mean?
It's Tia again.My cousin,Faith came over from college(where she's studying to become a teacher-if i hadn't quit my teacher training thing too,there was gonna be two teachers in my family.Well thats the past now..don't need to cry over spilt milk do i?) Okay yes she came and she and i visited Tia at her house.
You know these days she just wanna be with me all the time,because when she called me monday morning to come over she was like, ''hey wena,you better hurry up,coz i miss you this side''. Ehh? Tia missing me? Wassup with this girl? I think the pregnancy is starting to get to her now.You know how it's like when you pregnant? Dammnit! i'm not refering to the boys and those girls who haven't fallen pregnant before okay? When you are pregnant there are somethings you don't want,you just naturally develop hatred for, you see? There are people you don't wanna see.Like i hated Vicky's dad so much when i was still carrying her(Vicky).There are things you want and don't want to eat.
Oh! again,some people wanted to know what happened after Tia told me that she was pregnant for a married man right? Ermm..well we talked a lot about it.I just told her that it wasn't the baby's problem,and that she wasn't goinno punish that soul for what she(Tia) did.I told her it was gonna be fine.With me,her family and the people who loved her around,everything was goinno be just fine.On the days that followed we ate out a lot coz she always said she was craving for a Wimpy double bugger...that brought a smile to her face everytime she had it,and i figured she was begining to see reason with me,for her to keep that baby.
So hey guys,Tia and i are very much excited about the baby.Hope you are too.See now she's getting that pregnancy complexion,just getting more beautiful everyday.Problem is she gets very moody sometimes! Yes it has already started oo! But you know me now? I know these things.I been there done that,you can put it that way...lol
So when we get to her house,dang! can you believe this? she asks me to cook for her! ''Ah-ah Tia please we just got in,You should've prepared something for your visitors now-abeg''..Holy God! Gues what happened next! She's crying oo! Just because i complained! Oh no! am i goinno start baby-sitting already? with this big mama? Was i really like this with my first pregnancy? i don't remember!
Okay.I decide to abide by the rules now.I don't want her to hurt anymore.Anything she's gonna ask i'll do without complaining.Provided i can.I don't want her to hurt the baby.So i did the cooking(i must admit i'm aint good at this, somebody somewhere knows that i can't do good at this,but i'm learning now,i gues i'll be better the next time we meet) ,she's there gisting with Faith.I've never known Tia could be so talkative.Can somebody really change like that when they fall pregnant?
We are done with eating neh? So now it just happened that we ended up tryina come up with names for the baby.It was a very difficult thing to do.Because we had to come up with 4 names(two Tswana names-girl & boy and two english names-girl & boy).Everytime i tried to say out a name and Tia didn't like it,she'll lash out at me! I donno...one minute she's all over me,the next she wants to kill me! Hee bathong! This girl!
English names are so very easy to pick.You can go sit and meditate in the toilet,then all of a sudden come out screaming Tom,Tim,Ben,Arnold,Peter,Donald,Jerry for boys or waking up from a deep sleep you can shout Lizzy,Emily,Samantha,Mary,Judy for girls.But with our traditional names you have sit and scratch your head because it has to come with a very meaningful meaning.
My middle name is Seane.This just means Proverb,not any proverb in particular,but just that word.Vicky's middle name is Tsholofelo.It means Hope.It's my mum who named her that one.I never came up with any name for her.My mum called her Tsholofelo and her father called her Victoria.Don't ask me why i never named her.And then Jnr's middle name is Thatoyaone.It means God's Love,but again this guy loves me oo! When i'm home he never leaves my side.When they are watching t.v and they are sitting down on the mat,you know how it's like with traditional women,kids don't sit on seats when watching t.v especially when other neighbouring kids are over,so when they are sitting on the mat,Jnr is here by my feet.
And then Jeddah's middle name is Motshidisi,meaning Life Saviour.Dammnit! no wonder he looks out for his brother and sister!
So then in that case you have to be careful which name you came up with because i tried to bring forward Dikeledi,meaning Tears,which is my grandmother's name.Yes i wanted to name Tia's baby after my grandma.She almost broke my neck!
What does your name mean?
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