My aunt and her husband.I still visit them in O/town whenever i get the chance.Though divorced they still visit each other and all.I've looked so deep into my heart and i know i haven't forgiven them for how they treated me.If they couldn't bring me up why didn't they just tell my mum? Rather than putting on a smile and saying, ''yeah it's okay,we'll look after her''.I mean,my mum would've thought of something..you know...she would've come up with something.She always did.
I know they don't remember a thing about all of it,they don't even remember how they used to buy clothes and xmas presents just for their kids and not include me.It was xmas for crying out loud! Kids always treasure what they were bought for xmas!,and always look forward to talking about it!,and not getting anything will remain a permanent scar within them!
But,like i said they've forgotten.These days i'm the one they think about when they need financial handouts.My aunt's husband was admitted in hospital the other time,and i had to take my precious time from work to care for him.Nobody from his family was there to do that.His first born stays in Gabz,but she never even once gone to check on him.The wife stayed back in O/town and never came.The mistress also never came.So i had to be there for him 24/7.His whole family gotten to know how he was doing through my phone.They called to ask how he was doing.
I'll forgive them one day,but i'll also still continue on helping them out wherever they need my help(blood is thicker than water right? no matter how deep the colour).
Those cousins of mine,the ones i used to do everything for,none of them went for tertiary or is working.They didn't even do well at high school.It's not that i'm like, ''yah,serves them right''.But,it's just that i want people to know that everything we do,God's watching.I'm not even saying i haven't done wrong,i've wronged some people too,and have hurt a lot,but i'll be punished in the rightful way i deserve.
The female one is 24 now and has got two daughters,the other time she asked me if she could bring her kids over to stay with my mum.I told her the load i'm carrying is way too much for me-3 kids,my mum,my other cousin who's staying with my mum.I couldn't afford another bunch.She started cursing me and telling me that i think i'm somebody!(am i not?..lol..)..God!..i took care of her when she was growing up! Now she wants me to take care of her kids too? Thats too much now!
Her brother is 22 and staying in Francistown with some relatives.Last i heard of him,he was collecting money from his father to give to his girlfriend who was schooling full time in the University.I just swallowed my pride,went to see him in F/town,looked him in the eyes and told him to stop what he was doing!
''That girl is getting an allowance goddamnit!,and you are here collecting money from your father to give to her? For what? What does she need money for? Oooor!''..i was looking at him up and down, ''so you told her you are Barclays bank keh?..i see!..i look through those jeans you are wearing and see you are not putting on any underwear,and you are here pouring financial handouts to somebody who doesn't even know your last name!''...i was trying to fight for him because..truth be told..i still felt i was his sister you know?..and that i had to do something about the situation he was in..
Can you believe that my mum's other elder sister who stays right here in Gabz used to make me pay rent for one of her rooms i was using? Thats why i had to move from her place to go find an apartment of my own coz i couldn't stand paying my very own aunt who sleeps in my bed when she's visiting in Serowe! I would rather pay somebody else! Now,the company i'm working for is constructing houses for accomodation to its employees,i've heard her daughter saying that she's gonna stay with me! Can you believe that? And i used to have a feeling she was the one who told her mother to make me pay for the room! Now she says she'll be staying with who? At whose house? (hisssss)...
Wondering how i'm feeling when writting this?..well..i'm fine..I'm listening to Kelly Clarkson's 'Breakaway'
25 comments:
Miss Hot Legs,
You came out OK and strong cos you werent pampered and feed with a silver spoon. See how those who were fed with a silver spoon turned out? Worse huh? Count your blessings everyday girl and thank God for his mercies - and on no condition must they sponge off you anymore.
Do the basics with the milk of human kindness but dont let them weigh you down with their problems.
@calabar..i was expecting you to be first!
Thanx for that girl..i will kip on helping out where i can,coz i believe the more i'll give out,the more i'll get.Blessed is the hand that gave hey?
Thanx for stopping by...
LOL at Ms Hotlegs...well its true anyways.
I wanna ask something? In which part of earth are yu? I always wanted to ask but end up forgetting.
Nice post btw. All i have to say is be strong, believe yu can do it. Shun all pessimisms and pray regularly(methinks i wuld make a good pastor o).
Hi crazy-I-like-fart-girl
am busy but I'll read you later
Wow, you do a lot for your family. They should be lucky to have you. I'm only sad that these problems are all too common in African families. Allowance for a girlfriend??? *sigh*
@Ugo Dee...You had asked me that question sometime and i toldu to go view my profile..i can see you still haven't?..you got an atlas there?..see African?..down,down,down..see South Africa?...Botswana is on top.That's where i'm at.
LOL..it's now that you realise you cud make a perfect pastor?..i've always thought you were one!
@D.O.G...i also love the smell of the sewage.You know when i'm in a taxi and then we pass by a bust sewage-drain pump,and people will go like, ''mmh-mmh! close the windows''..i'll be going, ''wow! i love that smell''..and they'll all give me this are-you-crazy kinda look.But i love it!..i mean..the smell.
You better get back!
@ELNG..you are right you know..and i gues it'll always be like that as long as we are Africans,staying in Africa.I love my family.The whole extention of it.I wish i had a lot to give out.I know i will one day...thanx for all that..
What doesn't break us is bound to make us better and stronger and more mature to kick ass everywhere we go baby!
@Izzy..true thing!
Seriously Jaybabe, am really disappointed wit yu on ya last comment on ma blog. If its some kinda joke, its terrible. I wouldnt want such to happen again. We cool, right?
Tkia
We very cool...yah..it was a joke i gues...sorry..
well, the "breakaway" song says it all
@Ibo Dude...i'm flying already mann!..thanx for stopping by.How have you been?
You have a great sense of individuality, responsibility, and experiences of all sorts.
You can say that again...
once again...thanx
I once passed by your house,and then i was supposed to leave a comment there,and then i gues i got distructed..see you around.
Thanks and am guessing, like myself, you are a very fair minded person? If you are, I do not think you should change your good ways, however, you must balance it by upholding your dignity and self respect. It is so disheartening today to see that so many people including and especially close relatives are often too quick to take advantage of fair-minded people to the extent that sometimes you may be left with no option but to breakaway.
btw: I listen to a wide variety of music and like Kelly Clarkson's 'Breakaway'
hope to see you around
@P-I..the fairness part,blame it on my mum.She's the one who gave me the disease i gues.Just last week she called me and told me that one of our neighbours' daughter has just been laid,and that they got no food at their house,and that she was thinking of giving them some,i told her to go ahead-'because thats what you are best at!'-couldn't believe i shouted at her!
But on the other hand i wanted her to help out...you know?..felt bad after that.
Sometimes i wanna hold myself back,but a very big part of me will go like, ''you have it,give it out''..you know?..and then..i'll be left with no option.How i wish it could be easy to just 'breakaway'..
...i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly...
(thats the chorus right?)
i have a friend who went through a similar experience. To deal with it, she infused those emotions into whatever she did. And today, she is quite the successful chick..
human beings are so short sighted.. they forget quite easily. But sometimes they dont forget, they just hope that you have forgotten. So they pretend.. knowing the kind of person i am .. i would sit them down one day and tell them all that i went through.. that would be my way of healing..
take care girl!
Yeah along those lines. I see you also love magazines. Hope to see you around.
@Ijeoma..i think i have to do exactly that.Maybe i'll be able to help them without looking back you know?..thanx for that.I really appreciate
and hey...thanx for stopping by..
@P.I...see you around boy...!
hey! thanks for stopping by. there is more whenever you are ready. see you around lady.
Seems like they still have a hold on you, not financially, emotionally.seems like they always will unless you forgive them. the fact that you still help them, that's one up for you.
@feather..yah..i gues you are right.coz there's just so much that's been happening and i can't write that down.I really think you are right,esp abt the emotional part.
Then i gues i have to forgive them.Not like just saying it..but doing it.I will.You know thats easy,i'm still gonna have a problem in forgetting...
Thank you very much.
@P.I...get outta here!..what are you talking about?..of course i'll always pass by your house...so much to learn in there.
Jay, when they say forgive and forget, no one really expects you to forget all that happened. just to forget the pain with which you remember it. chull
@feather..oh?..okay...i got that.Makes sense.
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