Tuesday, May 31, 2016

A Weapon Called Silence


I hope you guys had lovely weekend. Mine was hectic as usual. I attended two parties, that is on friday(xmas party at work) and saturday(our football team party). And as its always the case i took some pictures. But i think you people are bored with my pictures now? So I decided to keep them to myself this time around. Today i wanna share this with you.

It takes a hell of a woman to do something like this....
Ladies please let's all be honest, can we really do what this woman did???
It's a sad world out there imagine when this happens to you.... Have you
ever thought of what you would do if you found your husband/fiancé/boyfriend, red-handed cheating on you? Worse still, in your own bedroom? Have you ever thought of what would happen? These things aren't only read on papers, they are real. They happen to real women. Answer this question to yourself sincerely. Would you go for that kitchen knife, pack your stuff, or hire those thugs that do justice to other men.


You might be surprised at how you react to this... Read on my good people...


A Weapon Called Silence by Mildred Ngesa:
''I felt it the moment I turned the knob. The door was unlocked, but that was not unusual especially because his car was in the parking bay, where it usually sat when he was home. What I felt was a knot forming in the pit of my stomach - the kind of feeling you get when you hear movements in the house when you know you are alone in the small hours of the night. Every second Friday of the month, I travel to Kampala to collect Fabric for my vintage business in the city. On this particular Friday, I left home at dusk as usual, heading for the city centre to catch the 8pm Akamba bus
bound for Kampala. We waited for three hours and then it was announced that the buses had been cancelled due to a technical hitch. With nothing else to do in town, I went back home. The lights downstairs were on and so was the music. The English Premier League was showing on TV, so why wasn't my husband, a die-hard Arsenal fan, watching the game?

Sometimes a woman's instincts can be so sharp that she can smell last year's perfume on the shirt of her philandering man. My instincts were on edge. Even though there was no actual perfume in the air. In fact, there was nothing really that I could put my finger on. Just this odour of violation that ripped my senses like nothing I had ever felt before. Perhaps this feeling is what kept me from calling out to my husband. And it stayed with me even as I tip-toed upstairs, heading for the master bedroom. Nothing prepares you for anything like this. They had not even bothered to shut the door. I simply walked in and there they were, my husband and this woman, naked save for my purple flowered bed-sheets partly covering their entwined bodies. It took me a moment to realise the high-pitched cry that cut through the night was coming from me. The bewildered pair scrambled to cover their nakedness and stared at me blankly. They said nothing. My heart was beating so loud I could almost hear its echo in the next room. Trust is a fragile emotion. Like glass breaking, it can be shattered in an instant, never to be wholly recovered again. In that instant, my trust for this man was lost. "Why don't I go downstairs and make you some tea?"

Did I just say that? I had just walked in on my husband and another woman, and all I could do was offer them some tea! I slowly made my way back downstairs. In the kitchen, I switched to auto-pilot, fetching a packet of milk from the fridge, lighting the cooker, placing a pan of water on to boil, bending to remove mugs and the flask.. All the while, my mind was abuzz, humming a tune I did not recognise. This must be how zombies feel. It went on and on, the tune seemed to imply that I ought to be in control, that I ought to keep breathing so that I may stay sane. The tea was ready and placed on the table. Three bright blue mugs sat neatly on light blue place mats. I waited for the "guests" to come down as I sat motionless, staring sightlessly at the television. They came down my husband first, dragging his feet like a prisoner counting his final steps to the gallows. He sat on the love seat - the two-seater on which he had cuddled and kissed me passionately just the night before. She followed, hesitating for a moment near the same seat before moving to the furthest corner of the room, near the door, a safe distance from me. I began talking as I poured tea into the cups. I rattled on and on about the transport crisis and the difficulties of traveling at a time like this. But instead of reaching for a cup, the woman stood up abruptly and headed for the door. For a brief moment, our eyes met. She was not young. In fact, she appeared quite mature, maybe even married. I heard the gate open. My husband was still rooted to the spot.

"Why don't you see your visitor off?" I prodded gently. He didn't move. I sighed and started talking about the African Cup of Nations Championship and how sad it was that Kenya had lost to Burkina Faso. When he did not respond, I yawned loudly, said goodnight and went to bed. Sleep evaded me like the mosquitoes that buzz through out the night. My husband did not come to bed with me - he opted for the couch.

By the break of dawn I had painted my mind red with all sorts of possible revenge, thinking of the ultimate pain to inflict on him for the anguish he has caused me. But my heart grew haggard on the prospect of a physical confrontation. I was going to fight this war my own way and at my own pace. Last night marked the beginning of a cold war, not confrontation. I have heard of, and even seen, women go after "the other woman" with a panga. But my reasoning was, this woman was not the only player here. My husband probably seduced her. Other women go so far as to attack their husbands, but then again, I thought: If a man is fed up with me, he will let me know. If he wants to have an affair, that is his business. Strange, I know, but silence was my weapon - and a very vicious weapon it was. As far as I was concerned, that was the end of it.

I went about my business as usual and did not say or do anything that would suggest it had actually happened. Two weeks later, I was waking up and was surprised to find my husband sitting at the foot of the bed, sobbing deeply. "I am sorry... so sorry. Please forgive me, please, just say something, don't shut me out, just say something..." I looked at him calmly, my heart frozen. My face showed feigned surprise and innocence. "What are you talking about?

Sorry for what?" He sobbed even louder, sinking to his knees, his head buried in his hands. "Say something... shout, scream, anything, but please don't be silent. It's killing me, please, I'll tell you everything..." I smiled. It was the smile of a woman who has just tricked the devil into getting down on his knees and praying. It was the smile of a woman who had won. I had left my peace with God and He will deal with them in Time. At the end I remained the Lady he had married, and the other woman was just another lesson for me that made me the better person I am today.

This is well written. Reminded me of the story i once wrote when i was in grade 9. But it was a different situation. Still the same. It was about me being caught red-handed by my parents!...making out with the boyfriend!...in their(my parents') sitting room! Can you imagine? Well it was a regional essay competition and i scooped the title. My english teacher was so excited. Still amazes me even up to this day. I was 15 years old! Where did i get all the idea?

Have a productive week!

36 comments:

eddiie said...

I wonder what better weapon some one would have thought of other than that.

Now, thats typical reasoning. It pains.It really pains but its worth it.

I remember telling my uncle to utilize the same weapon on his wife when she turned him into a drum.The lady would beat the guy at her will. More over the guy provided everything in the house.

She was just an African house wife. He kept quiet for like a month but talking so sweetly with the kids. She felt isolated and stupid and came just like this cheating man... crying with knees on the floor..

From that day....She never laid her a hands on the guy and not even a quarrel.

Thats my weapon.I use it every time am faced with the biggest challenge. Remember, its really hard to do.

You see anger is like Petrol. Any slight reaction to a situation is almost impossible to bring back.

Kudos to that lady....If she can deal with such a huge problem? then she can solve any problem.

Now yours was....eish!! (thats your word)...I just node my head. Thats all...lol

Jayn Sean said...

I agree with you Eddiie. I think silence is the best weapon ever. Have you ever felt how its like when you don't listen your parents, go out and come home at odd hours, talk to your parents the way you want, wear revealing clothes and all? And then your parents stop askin you or pasterin' you about all you do? Du know how bad it feels? And then all of a sudden you stop doing all that, and become a child your parents are proud of? I think this weapon is it.

Forget about my own essay...lol Will try writtin' some words from it sometime.

Eish..but the thing is i donno what i would have done if i was that lady, obviously i wouldn't have kept quiet. That woman is brave ooo!
Du know that i almost killed someone one time when something like that happened? Well i didn't find them in the bedroom, but she was in the leaving room, and he was adjusting a globe in the other room, and i was told that i was gonna use that room to spend the nite...i don't wanna talk about that...
Thanx for stopping by babe..

eddiie said...

Oh! my goodness!! you almost killed someone..eish!! you were to spend the night in the kids room!! lol...i read that some where back..you don't need to tell...

Yeah that lady is absolutely brave..You can hardly find such a type of lady..

There is nothing as hard as holding back your temper..God!!! People see you keep quiet but..my God!! its not simple....

:)

Jayn Sean said...

Not simple at all. You go crazy. Something in your brain cracks up. You cant see shit. You cant hear shit. The world reels around. You start sweatin'. Nothing comes from your mouth. Nothing. Eddiie..i used to wonder why there were so many passion killings in 2002. I felt how one feels like b4 they killed someone. Very bad. I remember talkin' to my mum on the phone that night, but i couldn't one thing after i hung up!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Hey babe: Just updated oh!

That picture of the cat is scary.

eddiie said...

....blushing...Now there is no testimony like yours...You talked to your mum and you wouldn't recall a thing?

i think at that time all you feel is looking for someone who would join you in your emotions very quickly more over...No what,how,who,when etc etc..

You don't need someone who will start asking you question after question.Instead of consoling you...they start...

"Are you ok?"...when the person even now knows you are not ok....
"How did it happen?"...Now Babe, how can you start explaining that you came..looked through the window and saw them?...
Don`t be surprised to hear..."So what did you do?".... What did i do?...

Ok thats just an illustration i have come across and you never want to call such a human first. They will just be adding you more trouble...

These part.....""something in your brain cracks up. You cant see shit. You cant hear shit. The world reels around. You start sweating'. Nothing comes from your mouth. Nothing""

Hmmmmm.....No wonder its very easy to commit suicide at that time and believe me..you won't even know you are committing the act. I don`t think you will feel the pain..

Lol...

Afrobabe said...

I have always believed I would just sit and laugh....just sit there looking at them laughing but then I guess it was cos I had never really been in love...

When my mum used to catch my dad with other women, not in bed but knowing that was where they were coming from she would threaten to leave and he would ply her with gifts, a new car,money for her shop..

I sincerly do not know what I would do if I love him deeply.

Afrobabe said...

and babe, publish the pics oh...we wanna see...how can we ever have enough of u??

Unknown said...

Jay:

I will not have done that...I know we should be admiring what she did but I can't help but feel pity for her...there is nothing that stops him from doing the same thing...another guy might see her silence as a form of consent to continue his cheating ways...

diary of a G said...

her reasoning was that of a wise person, she maintained her composure and remained the women she was and the one her husband married
after all the ordeal has already taken place

most people wouldn't do that
I prolly couldn't even tho its whats best

Jayn Sean said...

@Solomon..scary cat?..lol..you're so jokin'..oh! no! you mite be right. With one ear and shout like that? Seems scary enuff..lol..i'll be by you in a sec..

@Eddiie..you know like that is why cases like these ones take long to pass judgement. The guy who killed his galfriend in 2000 has just been sentenced to 10 years in jail coz they said he wasn't himself when he did, esp that he found a member of parliament on top of his galfriend! So really you are not yourself when you do that-kill someone. So many such cases are still pending even now.

@Afrobabe...lol..you know one guy once told me in school that he'll just open the door, look at them, then say, ''wow!''..then walk out.
Lol..i wonder, what will be going on in somebody's mind when he/she reacts like that?
I'll upload the pics then..just coz you asked..you know how i value the friendship i have with Blogvillagers..so stay tuned..


@Pammy...Oh my...i think you are right. He's gonna do it again. So girlfriend..what do we do in a situation like this?

@DoG..seriously..if it were to happen to you, what wud you do? Finding your wife with another man, in your matrimonial home..and bed?

eloquence of expression said...

Silence or is it cold war?... In as much as the theory would prove me wrong....(or doesnt it already) I believe it destroys the foot soldier heavily engaged in it. It desroys the morale and the need to go on. Just shout the fuck hell out of the shitty cunt and I might feel much better in a day or two...

the pic on the side got some really hot legs. Are they organic?

Ms. emmotions said...

u ve done it again !

i had to read thru three solid times, couldnt get enof of this gist. i ve long ago learned that in situations such as this, silence alone can do the magic and nothing else. if she had started a fight or something,the man would have gotten away wit out an apology for the woman some how.

not easy though, by the way post those pix plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

take kare dear.

Jayn Sean said...

@Ms Emo...du no that even up to this day i'm still regrettin' the way i acted when i found that gal in the house i used to call my own? Mxem! Anyway..it wont happen again. At least now i know what to do.**wink**..i'll be careful ooo! you too.

anonymous gal(retired blogger) said...

Wat type of pic is that. mhen i give the woman a thumbs up. im not that patient o. im very rrational.

Jayn Sean said...

@Anony girl.. my sister!, maybe you are better ooo! Me? Ha! I'm worse than the word.
LOL@ wat type of pic is that..is it not that i can't her you when you are silent like that...lol..girlfriend, do i know?..lol..don't mind me sha, i don't even know where i got it.

eddiie said...

Hmmmmm....

The pictures?......marvelous. I like them. You really were out to enjoy and they just show...

I didn't though see the tattoo? ok most of the pictures were taken from afar but i thought i would have just peeped and checked...

Hmmmmm....but let me put on my glasses...(eish!!-your word)- like i have one...

Amelia said...

i have never been much of a drama queen or venter, so i would just look at them walk out, not say a word to her or my husband, pack my clothes and leave and never talk to that asshole again.when im betrayed i get ice cold.

silence is the best revenge i say!

Queen of My Castle said...

Oh gosh, I have been here before, and the knot in the tummy that she described is exactly how I felt, EXACTLY. They weren't in bed, she was hiding in my son's closet. I went completely numb. Couldn't talk or even think, had difficulty even breathing.

Great post

princesa said...

Am short of words.
That woman was really strong. I dont know if i can do what she did.

Babes, am very busy o! But will try to update before xmas.

Merry xmas to you.

Jayn Sean said...

@Eddiie..du really mean that? Liking them pics? Well i like them too. Just they went that much. I donno...i dont take too many pictures these days i donno why. I'm still waiting for the surprise ooo!

@Mona..thats your word. But what i can tell you is, if dont say any word, it'll come back to backfire a great deal on you. So the best thing is to do something. Act. Get your anger out. You know like i thing its the same as crying for somebody who has passed on. Du know that most people who don't cry in funerals end up folowing suit? So i think the best way is to let all out. Break even the dishes in the kitchen!

@Queen..oh my God! Sorry ehh? I feel you girl. @Eddiie..did you hear that? What i toldu about. That you become numb, like Queen said. You can't think. You can't hear a thing. You can't see a thing. Its like one of the threads in the brain gets cut! @Queen..i really feel you my dear. I wonder how men feel when they come across something like that. Well mostly they'll kill..but what do they do if they don't kill? Thanx again for showing up..

@Princesa...thank God you here. I was dead worried ooo! Eeehhh! abeg try update now..**wink**

eddiie said...

Oh!! my Goodness!!! @Queen also went through this? Come one men!!!

Where rare we going. I thought it was a one off..or a two off thing but i think its all wide...

Jay..@Queen went numb?!!! Now Jay..'its like a wire gets cut.....'

May be i should be proud to be a man now. Why? because am actually not hearing any testimonies from the guys...

What do you think. Are guys not fallen victims of these kind of treatments? Then why is it one way? Thats my question...

Ladies...together with Jay...why is it the ladies...Or men just celebrate...

I mean on finding her in bed with another guy....its an opportunity to widen his wings...lol

Jayn Sean said...

@Eddiie..you are so jokin'! @an opportunity to widen his wings. You are not so tellin the truth,and you know it!

Why not ask yourself why is it that it is you guys who kill girls when something like happens? Why not keep quiet like she did? Up till now i havent heard a case when its a lady who did the killin', just like you are not hearing any testimonies from guys..

Ehhee now, ''a wire gets cut''..you get the picture now right? What happens when a wire gets cut? It becomes dark. When that brain thread 'gets cut' too, it becomes just like that-dark, and silent!

You are so surprised that Queen went thru that? Ha! my broda, we go thru so much oo! somethings are even better left unsaid. If i can say out some of the things i went thru, what i you gonna say? So lets just leave it right there,where it belongs- in the past!

eloquence of expression said...

Pretty slide show, I did talk about the plumbing been one hot jarapeno. Some folks visiting asked me who the girl was and I said its some schrampe I used to nie.. they all jawdropped a dude-get-a-life, then I said, well,she can fit a 500ml cola with ease.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm....blushing...Just one question Babe!!

Its your last and only chance. Remember, you won't have any other shot to bring it back...So its a do or die situation.....

"If you had the opportunity to be a man today!! Ok now!! would you turn it down?"

@widening wings? ok thats common from guys. At least thats how they console themselves. You see men do not like to be losers...Big losers you know...Especially when they have been dumped...

So, out of emotions..they just say.."Its ok...i can now spread my wings" Ok not me Jay!!! Its just a reported speech...

Ok...History!! Naa..without history then we almost could not go forth.Its history that makes us strive for the better. So i wouldn't mind. But not here ooooo!!!

But i really feel for you ladies.So delicate and guys can mean to be rotten!!! Yes and i mean rotten.,,,

Any guys in the house!! No need to defend yourselves...

eddiie said...

Gosh!!I have commented using someones add.He was using my Laptop. Ok delete this upwards.Leave only the comment which starts.

Ok Jay. Spreading wings by guys is just a sense of frustration. I mean men do not like to be big losers. I mean the one where a babe just says..ITS OVER!!!

Killing is certainly too stretched. Those are addicts and very mean guys who i think are very rare to find. Passion killing happens but not so often. And such guys are always drug addicts ot alcoholics....

But even ladies Kill.About a yeat an ahalf ago, this lady found her husband cheating and she headed for a panga, came and started slicing the guy till the guy died!!!

So my sister oooo!! its not a one way traffic. You ladies can mean to be mean as well...Ok..i was about to ask you a question related to that lady above but i know you cannot.So let me leave it at that.

Jay for @Queen? I thought otherwise.Then you ladies really go through a lot. I wonder.With all these problems i give you this question.....

Being your last chance.The very last breathe..Remember there is no bringing anything...

"If by any chance you are told to change into a guy today.....nononono thats far..Now!! will you change?"

Afrobabe said...

Lovely pics,you look great...But who is that man with his hands near ur boobs??? May the naija husband we are getting you not see them oh..

God what wont I give to be able to wear a short sleveless dress right now, I so hate this london weather.

Jayn Sean said...

@Eloquent...nothing you say, no matter how you say it, will do anything to me. Like i once toldu, i'm publishing your comments just to make you feel how human you are. Say whatever you want to say. Suit yourself. You think i care? Your comments dont break me. Not in a single bit!

@Eddiie...opportunity to be a man today? ermmmm...naah i dont think i'll opt to be a man. Apart from the fact that i'm a woman, and i'm proud of it, being a man calls for so many things that i don't really like, esp having this thing that you are the boss, you rule the world. That i'm supposed to jump at every move you make. Somebody taught me to stand for my own. And i'm doing that Eddiie believe you me, it feels really gr8. I used to look at a man, and see somebody if not something i shud obey, sherish and all..but now i know what i want, and no man's gonna order me around. So no i wudnt really wanna change into a man.
Men arent realy loosers, they are weak, insecure, and they don't have that man thing anymore, esp ever since everything is more like equal than just on their control.
Ha! so you are scared to be told its over? And when you are told its over you start spreading your wings? oh God! how did you make these people? Du know what i do when i get dumped? i might get hurt and then react in a way, but i dont 'spread my wings' now, for what?..lol..if we start discussing this things here, we are gonna take the whole day.

Jayn Sean said...

@Afro..see that guy ehh? Is my colleague now. He wasnt even supposed to be holding me like that. Dammmnnn! To hell with him..lol..well..they were having fun ooo! They went camping over the weekend. The football team at work. Your trully joing in bcoz she likes fun you know? And it was real fun. Okay when that Naija guy you guys are tryina hook me up with starts askin questions, tell him that if there was anything btwin me and them guys, i wudn't upload that picture for everyone to see wud i? And the way i was puttin on that gear, everybody wanted to get a picture with me...so..see? Thats all there is to it..lol

eloquence of expression said...

Its not supposed to break you, you already a pretty Schrampe. On the point of cheating and men, well, I did it with about 40-50 nameless Prostitutes, a WIT law student named Neo, a cute Capetownian named Nikita, a Thailand girl named Mei-Ying she is also a Schrampe at the Royal Park.

I would cheat coz like you already know, you didnt have any grip left in you, and I needed good tight honeypot. Sleeping with you was good though my mind would be elsewhere thinking about some whore I fucked the previous day, or with Neo she was hot and is still hot. Not to mention she got a tight Pussy. Thats why most men cheat.

Publish me or not, I dont really care.

eddiie said...

Yeah...yeah...i know... but one note..."spreading wings" is done by guys i have had the opportunity of hanging around with...

At least thats what they say,....Its just a consolation anyway..But most times when they settle down, they actually start the search for the right flower...

You are so hard!!! Given the opportunity to be A MAN you would turn down. i mean its one ticket of reducing heart breaks....

lol...

We certainly wont end this debate here not until another post comes in....

Jayn Sean said...

@Eloquent Ex..if you don't care about anything, why are you folowing me? Why are you reading my blog? Why du wanna know what i ate last nite? Why du wanna know everything thats going on with me? Foolish fool!People here will think that there's a reason why you saying all that. But deep down in your heart you know that truth. Eish..Edwin..just get a life!

@Eddiie..LOL..Yeah..

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

@ Jaybabe: you know this 'eloquent' person? My dear, just ban him from your blog. His comments are a tad bit distracting, what with all the profane language.

Jayn Sean said...

@Solomon...thanx dear..i'll do exactly that.

Obinwanne said...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! and may you enjoy the season of joy with GOOD HEALTH.

Unknown said...

I'm with Solomonsydelle....we don't want to see him anymore.....do your thing in private, he just spoils you for us