We Wearing The Same Shoes

Overwhelmed Naija babe's post ignited something in me to write up this one. Had never wanted to write this, but just wanted to let her see and know that at one point she and i were putting on the same shoes.

Like you can see in this picture..i'm really doing fine.

I didn't know it happened to every guy, or does it? Maybe some guys can control it. And read the writting on the wall when you tell them it's over. But for some i gues it'll take them ages. And then another thing is, the name calling, the swearing, the threats and all? Why don't women do that? I can be hurt when a guy tells me it's over. I'll be heartbroken to see him with another woman walking past by. I would wish i had done things right. I would wish to turn back the hands of time and right what i wronged. But i've seen that people(guys/men) don't do that. They'll rather make your life a living hell. They'll make sure you don't get to wish for the next day. They'll never leave you alone. In my case he even went to an extent of communicating with my current, just like Diary of a G would run to the males who left comments on OWNB's page.

How was a man and a woman made? Different? How? Why don't i follow his current and make threats to her? I used to think that men are stronger than women. Now i see that physically yes, but emotionally no!

The following conversation is the last one i had with my ex at google chat, this was in January this year:

Him: Thanks(after he asked me to log on to the chat room)
can I talk before you do?

me: so wareng?

Him: I want to set something straight
I want to tell you that whatever stuff i said to you, like call you a whore, a bitch, sicko
I actually never meant it
and I did say that in my sms last night
I want to undo whatever curse i laid on you today
I want you to know that its only Love that I only intended
I guess I loved you too much
there is a proverb that says
that when you love too much you break the amblical cord
you seen a new born lamb
that thing hanging, the mother loves the lamb too much

that she steps on the cord unintentionally
I want you to have the best Life you could posibbly dream about
I want you to be Loved more than I ever said or claimed that I love you
I want you to smile
my sincere apologies to whatever pain, humiliation i might have caused you
I want you to let me go
I want you to stop Loving me like you said
I want you to find other better jokes than my sour jokes that I told you
I want you to get somebody who can dance
I want you to get a friend first before a lover
I want your new man not to hold your hand in a public restaurant
coz you want to chew on bones.. damn I loved that
I want ...fuck... I dont want to cry.. but Its something that I have to do.

I want you to walk away
I want you to just leave and pls forget me
because I will forget you when you logg of this email
Thats all I wanted to say.. I am really sorry

me: I've heard all that

Him: its gonna be hard oh God, but its for the best
I want you to have the best

me: its goinno be very hard letting you go too, but i have to, i cannot go on like that with you

Him:You gonna have to let me go.. if you hold something even tiny in your heart for me
I will still perceive it a thousand miles from here
I always feel you inside me always.. but an hour ago, my heart was in mouring.. you died, not heart broken i mean you died
Dont wish me anything
I dont want pity
I hate pity.. i never was good in pity
Dont remember me
If you do remember me, my Love for you was genuine,

my heart will ache. So just put the switch off and close the door

me: okay

Him: Your heart speaketh but to mine without a touch, a phone or eyes

me: that i know

Him: So, I beg of you to just close this chapter.. Sigh
I actually made that sigh
dont ever write about me or send me emails or call me or sms me
Just walk away

me: ok.ok.ok.ok i've heard i'll do that

Him: By the way, Roselyne(thats the sister) asked about you.. My mother too asked about you. I guess I will have to tell them that we are no longer together. And that it was for the best and no further discussion

me: yeah please do that
its for the best you know?
that everybody goes their way
this hurting and the fighting was really getting into me

Him: Log off, coz now i will delete you from my mailing list and all the emails you ever wrote.. pls do that also from your side

my last words to you
I Love you and if you doing this for your own Good sake,

then who am I to stop you from your decisions
least you have made them, wrong's n right's.
I made my wrongs most of the time
I think, I might just drink or stop
afterall I dont deserve to be hurt anymore
what can I say more
well, I Love you...
You dont have to feel anything
because i know gore i'm saying it from the bottom of my heart
you have walked away from me when I needed you most
..yeah... good comes from bad
thats what my Grandmother always told me
Good comes from Bad
its okay you made your decision.. um young.. ambitious and above all..

i dont lust
I take my time
wish all the best in your life... I will always Love your kids
in my heart, they are my kids
Go well dont post this on your blog.. its my last request from you

Despite this conversation i'm still getting threatning mails,messages and nasty comments on my blog. But it's okay. Like i told OWNB i do ignore everything.

Just last night i got two smses from the guy:

1.IF I SAID GORE I DONT THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY I WUD BE LYIN. HELO JANE.

And then i ignored like always. Then after a while

2.ANYWAY I WILL KILL YOUR BOYFRIEND OR HE WILL KILL ME. WHO EVER KILLS THE OTHER ONE FIRST.

So guys, i gues you wondering what i did ehh? Like i always do-IGNORE! Somebody adviced OWNB to save the threat messages for every reason. I'll do like wise.

Nice weekend....xx