Ever since i became me, there have been days when i wished i were dead. There were days when i wished time could just stand still. There were happy days and sad days. Crying days and laughing days. There were moments when I thought things could go exactly the way I wanted. Those days when I wished life could center only around me. Some of those days when I wished I couldn’t regret anything I went through in my life. I do remember those bad days I had.
The day when somebody told me they were not ready to take care of ‘some’ babies, when I was pregnant with his child. Ha! A baby that was made outta love. The day when somebody told me that I was going to use the spare bedroom that night because ‘his’ girlfriend was around. I’m talking about the person I spent almost ten years with. The person I regarded as my boyfriend at that time. The day when my dad stabbed my mum with a knife and luck had it our way. God took him instead.
The day when Jeddah broke his arm. I didn’t come to work that morning. Went straight to board a bus home. The day when my cousin was jailed for a crime he didn’t commit. God will bear him witness. How do you start believing that someone like him can rape his very own 2 year old niece?...
I do remember those good days too. I remember the 18th Of June, 23rd June, 20th October, 4th November and 25th December. I happily celebrate these days every year. These are my birthday, my mum’s birthday, Jnr’s birthday, Jeddah’s birthday and Vicky’s birthday, respectively. The first days I held my own kids in my arms. The day I started my first job. I can’t stop thinking’ about the first day we met. Me and him. All those nights. The days I went partying with my colleagues. All those days, have come and gone.
There’s just one day that’s gonna take a long time to forget. Or maybe I’ll never forget it at all. A day that took away my everything. Everything i depended on. For guidance, for strength, for wisdom. 1st Aug 2009. She has been the pillar of strength for this family. She’s been sick I know, but I do feel that it wasn’t yet time. I had hope. We all had hope. That one day she was gonna stand up and walk. That one day she was gonna stand brave and talk. How am I going to live a normal life now? Knowing that there wont be any other person to call D.K anymore? I won’t have a reason to smile when I go to the village anymore.
Why did it have to be now? Why did she had to go now, when…when everything was going so well for me? She won’t be there for my wedding. She won’t be there when this baby is born? D.K, you should have waited for at least a coupla more months you know? Just a few months.
My grandma was buried on the 8th of August 2009, and i wasn't there to bid her farewell. Click HERE to read about a woman who, in so many ways, has contributed a lot to the woman i am today.
May your soul rest in peace DK. Your life was simple but it was a life that i would give anything to have lived.
2 comments:
awww..I am sorry about ur grandma. May her soul rest in peace.
Sometimes we wish the people we love so much will be with us forever or at least be there when things are perfect but we just have to remember the time they were around and keep those good memories close to our hearts.
@Lwalewa...Thanx so much for that comment. Means a lot. But you know its gonna take some ample time for me to forget her, you know? Especially that i couldn't attend the funeral as i'm due anytime. But my mum said i'll go see the grave after the baby's born.
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