Stop Abuse Against Women

A deep white smoke filled the room. What kind of a room is this one? I want to walk quickly, but I can’t. I can’t even see my feet when I look down. I’m putting on a white gown, and there’s a white towel wrapped around my head. Slowly I walk. I don’t even know where I’m walking to, but I have to walk forward. Suddenly I see a group of people. They are also wearing white clothes. There are about 20 of them in front of me. They are walking in a queue towards what seemed like a gate. A very big gate. I walk slowly forward and joined the queue. I start wondering, ‘’where am I?’’. ‘’where are we walking to?’’. ‘’why are we wearing white?’’. ‘’why isn’t anybody talking?’’. And then I start to look around me. There are two straight-lined fences on both my sides. On my left side, I see a lot of people. They don’t look happy. Others are wailing. Others are fighting. Others are killing one another. I see a mother feeding a child with blood. Yuck! All these people are on fire, but they don’t seem to burn. Oh my God! It dawns on me. I’ve heard something like this will happen. Are those people in hell?

And then I look to my right. I stop walking. I see paradise. I see beautiful animals, beautiful fruit trees. I see children having fun. I see adults sitting under a tree, talking, laughing, and hugging. I see a little boy cupping clean water from the stream and having a lion drink from his hand. Oh my God! It dawns on me. I’ve heard something like that will happen. Are these people in heaven?

Wow! I wish to be in place like that. These people seem so happy. Is this how heaven looks like? While looking further on, I see someone. Do I know that person? Oh my God! He’s looking at me too. Who’s that? He is starting to walk towards me. I come nearer to the fence. I turn to look at the queue and see that 5 more people joined the line in front of me. Where is everybody coming from? I turn to look at the person coming towards me. Peter? That’s Peter. I start shouting his name. Oh my God! That’s my Peter.
But…but…but what is he doing in heaven? He should be in hell. Oh God why? Why did you put him in heaven?

He comes towards the fence. He’s touching my fingers but I can’t feel his touch. Is this how it is in heaven? Somebody touches you and you don’t feel their touch? Is this how it’ll feel if ever I get to feel Peter’s touch again? No feeling at all?

‘’Mercy, what are you doing here?’’
‘’I came looking for you’’
‘’But you can’t be here’’
‘’But I want to be here’’
‘’What about our son?’’
‘’He’ll be fine’’
‘’He is not FINE Mercy!’’
‘’How do you know?’’
‘’Look behind your back’’

Oh my God! I looked into what seemed like a mirror. I can see Bobo holding me. He is crying. I’ve seen him cry a lot of time, but I’ve never seen him cry like that. Our neighbor, Mrs Norman, is comforting him. Bobo is wearing a black tailored suit. There’s a lady by his side. The lady is wearing a wedding gown. It was Bubo’s wedding day. How can I choose to leave our son on his wedding day? What happened? Can I go back? No! But I want to be with Peter. Peter was taken away from me two months after we got married. I miss him. Now that I’m looking at his eyes, I don’t want to let him go. What do I do now?

I turn to look at Peter. ‘’You have to go back’’
‘’I can’t. I want to be with you.’’
‘’You will be with me in the future, right now he needs you. Please go back’’

I move away from the fence. I look back at the mirror. I look back at Peter. I can see his lips moving saying, ‘go back’’. I can see him pointing backwards. He’s telling me to go back. Back to a life I should have been sharing with him right then. We should have been together at our son’s wedding today. He should have been alive. He doesn’t belong here.

Our marriage was our blessing. Our couple was the one people termed as a match made in heaven. Things started getting sour when he went for a friend’s stag party. Ever since that time, Peter came back a different person. Whatever happened there took all our happiness away. What followed was years of hardship and abuse. The incident that I will never forget was the night he came home, very drunk. I was in the kitchen making popcorns for our late night movie. Bobo was playing one t.v game. When he entered the house, he shouted my name. I didn’t like the tone in his voice. I came immediately. Before I could ask anything, I saw him hurry towards Bobo, picked him up, then came towards me, threw Bobo at me like he was throwing a piece of paper…

I look back at the mirror; I look back at Peter again. He is still asking me to go back. I start to proceed towards the gate. There are about 10 people in front of me. I know before I walk through that gate I would have made up my mind….

This is an extract from the draft of a book I wish to complete writing one day. And a book I dream of seeing turned into a movie. It’s a dedication to all women in the whole wide world. Abuse is not safe. Abuse is not good. Lets all unite to fight abuse, especially against women.

Have a great weekend.

Ooops! She Did It Again..

Hey guys. Dammmnnn! 'ts been one hell of a weekend. But it's fine now shaa, back to base and heading for another hecting month. I hope everybody's fine oo! I was all smiles this morning when i saw that Life Of A Stranger, Believer and Diamond Hawk pased by my page. I couldn't believe it. I top-rate those three, now seeing them at my comment page was something else. Thank you so much guys.

Here i come again, you guys remember that Kenyan girl who wants to be whatever she wants to be with me right?
Ehen, a few days before we wrote the exam, we were in class, she was sitting on the next row behind me, and then suddenly she whispers my name. When i looked back, she passed something to me and when i checked it was her picture.

''What do i do with this?''
''No, i just wanted you to have a look. I'm gonna send that one to my brother who's in Australia, and then i'll make another copy for you''
Then suddenly i remembered that Pammy said i should ask her if she had a boyfriend.
''Why are you lying that you are gonna send this to your brother? You call your boyfriend your brother?'' I chuckled.
''Aaaagg, c'mon Jay. I don't have a boyfriend, seriously i'm gonna send this to my brother.''
''What is your brother doing with your picture?''
''Errmmm, you know like, we haven't seen each other for like 3 years now, so he says he wanted to see how i've grown''
''And then?'
''Jay, what du mean and then? He just wanna know thats all''
''Mmmh?''
''Yeah''
''Okay. But you do promise that i'll have my own copy right?'' I just wanted her to think that i wanted her picture, but i didn't. Besides that was our last lesson before the exam, so i wasn't gonna see her again after that.
''No i promise, i'll get you one.''

And then i remember we knocked off early from class that day, and then i'm walking to the bus stop to get a taxi home, when i hear somebody shouting my name. Dammmnit! Why does she like shouting my name like that? Aaaaggg, and then she asks me to wait for her. We walk together to the bus stop. While still waiting for the taxi, her phone rings, and she starts talking in one funny language.

''Which language was that one, Kikuyu?'' I asked her after she hung up. Even though i donno the language, my ex b/f, the anonymous guy is kikuyu.
''Nope, i don't speak kikuyu, that was my language, Luo. I don't even like the kikuyu people. They think they know everything. They think they are intelligent or something like that. They think their tribe is the best in Kenya, but they are all pieces of shit!''

Mmmh, typical example of that lunatic! Right now he's decided to go shit on Pammy's blog. Nonsense!
Well my people, don't mind THIS GUY. He's such a jerk!

Back to the story now, we got on talking. In fact she's the one who was doing a lot of talking while i listened.This girl was boring me ooo! When the fuck is the bloody taxi gonna come? Dammmnn! Finally, when it did, i was so surprised when she got into the same taxi with me.
''I thought you said you were gonna go to the bus rank first before going to your house?''
''I've decided to take you half way to your house, then i can track to mine from yours''
Oh my God! The taxi had already hit the road, and there was no way i could convince her otherwise or me getting outta the taxi. Shit! I don't want this girl to see where i stay. Who asked her to take me half way? All the way i was thinking of what to tell her, so that she doesn't see my house at all.
Should i tell her i left my aunt at the house?
Should i tell her i left a man at my house?
Should i drop off at the next stop and tell her i've decided to go back to school?
Oh my God! What am i gonna do?
We were quiet all the way in the taxi, because i was busy cracking my head for what excuse to tell her.

And then we arrived to where i usually drop off. When we got off the taxi, i saw my cousin Faith. I think she was waiting for another taxi to go to college where she's studying to become a teacher. Thank God!
When we came up to meet Faith, i did the introductions and then told Faith in our language that i don't want this girl to know where i stay, so i told Faith that she's gonna have to stay a little longer. We looked for some place to sit and i told Daisy that i hadn't seen Faith in a long time, so we are gonna wait and gist a little. I could see the disappointment written all her. She asked me to show her my house.

''Aaah, no you can't see it from here. You see those tall trees there?, right behind them.'' I was pointing to the wrong houses. You can clearly see my house from the bus stop. We sat there, talking with Faith. I deliberately ignored her and concentrated on Faith. Talking in our language and i think at some point Daisy felt left out. Serves her right!

After sometime, her phone rang. After talking to whoever, she excused herself, saying it was her mother and that her mother wants to see her immediately. I thanked my God! Immediately she left, the taxi came and Faith left, and i walked happily to my house.

Later in the evening, an sms went through into my phone. When i opened it was from Daisy. The sms started like, ''Scroll down if you miss me''. People, abeg, i didn't miss her, but this is my phone now? Am i not supposed to scroll down my phone? So i scrolled. The next line went like, ''So you miss me? Please scroll again''..i'm scrolling ooo! And then, ''okay, if you miss me that much, scroll for the last time'', i continue scrolling. And then next, came a picture of a kitten. The words that came with it were that, ''i sent you this cozy kitten so that it bites you if you don't think about me, like i'm thinking about you!''

I didn't reply to that sms.

The next evening, she sent another one, ''Hi dia, commitment, passion & intimacy-3 pillars dat make our relationship A NEW BRAND TOY plz let us be jealous and protective with it. luv u.gd evg''

My God! Which relationship now? There's not any kinda friendship i can have with this girl. One, i don't understand her. Two, i think she's gay/les. And three, she's from Kenya. I've got a history with somebody from Kenya who thinks can make my life a living hell. But he's the one living in hell right now.
Can somebody please tell this girl to leave me alone? Abeg!

30 Days Of Thankfulness- Day 22

I was tagged by Princesa.
And i too have so many things i'm grateful for that God has done for me. Firstly, Pammy no vex now, ehh my sister? I know you tagged me to on a different topic, but i will write that one up hey? I'm still thinkin' about them weird things about me. Well so far i only got 4, but you wanted 8, so i'll be there my sista, abeg don't hiss at me now. Even though i deserve it.

I start by thanking you Lord for making me see daylight this morning. For watching me sleep peacefully over night. No one can choose not to sleep, and watch over a sinner all night except for you Lord and for that i'm very thankful.

I thank you Father for making me change my mind about quiting my job last year. It was a decision taken without thinking, and i thank you Father for getting me back to my senses. I still thank you Lord for giving my management that courage to call me into their office and tell me that they still need me in this company. Bcoz, Father, that day i realised how important i am to some people and the impact i have made to them. God, you are good.

I thank you Lord for giving me the intelligence i have right now. You have seen me through all these years of my schooling and i'm still here doing my best at school. Your love is great, your love is undivided. Bcoz you chose to give it to a sinner like me. Even up to this day i still ask my self why me? After all i've done to you. After what i've done to some people, who i held dear at some point in my life. But God, you are still here, loving me like there's no tomorow.

I thank you Lord, for the day i fell onto Mphahlele's blog. Bcoz that was my key to finding the lovely and loving friends i have today in Blogville. I didn't know anything about this small village. And even though its a small village, i thank you Lord bcoz everyday its population is increasing. Lord, place your powerful hand on every head thats in Blogville, and show them the way, show them the truth, make them see that you are the life. I thank you Father...

God Almighty, i thank you for the loving family you bestowed un to me. I had thought i was going to die alone. I 've asked my mum several questions when i was growing up, why she chose to just give birth to me alone. Why didn't she buy more children? Bcoz when i was young i was made to believe that kids are bought from hospital. I asked her why she just decided to buy only me? But now i know why...

I thank you Lord, for bringing joy to my mother. When i had Vicky, she was over the moon. She told me that, she was scared that i might never have kids, even though she never told me why. When i had Jnr, i saw her cry. It was my very first time seeing my mum's teardrop. When Jeddah came, she killed the only best cow she was given to by my grand father- her father. Thank you Lord for those three blessings you gave to me. I can't thank you enough for what you've done to me and my family.

Thank you Lord for this day. Blogville sing with me, ''This is the day, This is the day, This is the day that the Lord has made, That the Lord has made. We shall rejoice, we shall rejoice, we shall rejoice and be glad in it, and be glad in it.''

I thank you Father for giving to me a friend called Sean. Thank you Lord for making Sean see that anything is possible. Sean was born with a disability and he's conformed to his apartment. He connects to the world through the internet. Lord see through to him. Make him strong. Lead him to you. I thank you Lord, bcoz in your eyes, we are all dissabled. We lack knowledge. We are conformed to our own useless beings. When we walk, we donno if its right to put the left foot first, or if its wrong to put the right one second. We just find ourselves walking. When we talk, we donno which word to say first. We just find ourselves talking. Lord, you are the Messiah, The Biginning and The End. You know what we donno. You know everything. We are thanckful Oh Lord.

I thank you Lord for my grandmother who's still walking this earth even up to this day. My grandmother suffered a stroke in 2000 and her left side is not working. But she's still here Lord, and people had thought you would have had your way with her by now. But no! God you kept her still. Thank you Father.

Thank you Lord.

Now i'm tagging Obinwanne , Be Silent 2, Pammy, Eddiie and Gerald

HIV/AIDS And Africa

Hello Guys!. I must start by saying that it feels good to be back home in Blogville. I hope everybody’s fine ooo! Me? Oya, half half now. The exams were fine. By God’s grace I hope I’ve done well. Can’t wait for the results. And i must thank all of you good people who left good luck wishes on my page. I'm really gr8ful. It really means a lot to me.
So much to gist about, where do I even begin? Okay, some people have decided to mess my mood this good Monday morning abih? The devil is liar!
I just logged into my yahoo account first thing this morning and what do I find? More than a 100 same messages from different people saying, ‘’ let me be the 1st one to wish you a merry xmas!’’. Good Lord! November is not even over yet! December is not even half way thru, let alone started as yet! Oh no! How can people choose to spoil my after-exam mood like that? Nonsense! Merry xmas my foot! This time?

Ehen, I was on the phone with Jnr last night. He said to me, ‘’ Jane, mama a re o tle o re ise clinicking le Jeddah re ye go ntsha letlalo’’.( Jane, mama says you should come and take Jeddah and I to the clinic to remove the skin) Oh My God! So my mum has told them? The president just announced that young men should undergo circumcision as it also helps in reducing the spread of HIV/AIDS. How? I can’t even start to imagine. So my mum has been nagging me to come take the boys to the clinic for the operation. Ha! Not my boys now, ah-ah!, for what?. I still don’t know how the removal of the foreskin reduces the chances of getting infected with the virus now. Does anybody know? Not that I’ll take them to the clinic even if I knew. What’s so special about circumcision anyway? A dick is a dick, big or small, circumcised or not, it still gets one to cloud number 9 doesn’t it?
Ha!, my ex…you know…? the anonymous guy? Once told me that, when one has undergone the initiation, and then doesn’t suffer the illnesses that come along with it, like anesthesia and all, the person is considered a warrior, and given much respect among his clan/tribe. Who cares? We are talking AIDS here. Talk of respect? AIDS doesn’t know that word or its meaning.

And talking about HIV/AIDS, there’s this interesting programme that’s going on in our country. It started in June this year. For you to be part of the programme, you gotta be aged between 18 and 35,and you should be HIV negative. The programme is tryina test the effectiveness of a pill called Trevada-something like that, in short, TDF2. Anyone heard of it? The pill is gonna act as a vaccine for the HI virus. You know, just like babies are given vaccines for polio, measles and all other diseases that are prone to attack infants. I heard the pill is gonna work the same way. So if they administer it to you, your body will be able to fight back the HIV.

Youngsters are not coming forward to join the programme. Apart from the fact that people don’t want to test, the other reason is that, we are not getting satisfying answers when we ask questions about this pill. The organization that’s running the programme is only interested in getting people to join, and not answer the questions. I went there the 1st time I saw the advert on t.v, and the questions I asked, which I never gotten answers to, made me develop 2nd thoughts. I just had a feeling these people want to kill us you know? So what happens after the pill is administered on me? How long is the waiting period? From there what happens? Are they going to administer infected blood into my system and monitor if the pill has worked or what? How are they going to do the monitoring? Or better still, after I get the pill, was I supposed to go around bonking anyone, with no protection to check if the pill has worked or not? See, some people are going to think that, the pill is a cure for AIDS, and I think they’ll go sleeping around. What also pissed me off, was that they wanted to administer the pill on me immediately after they gotten the test results. That’s what they were interested in, and not answering my questions. So I told them, I’ll come back after they explained clearly on national t.v how that pill is going to work.

When I took a break from studying last week Friday I decided to go check on them again. Pity. They are still looking for volunteers. Useless officers, they claimed to know me, coz the minute I got into the office, one of them went like, ‘’ You? You’ve come again? We hope you’ve come to join the programme this time?’’
‘’Naaaah, I was just passing by to check on you guys’’. Well one of my distant cousin works there. His elder brother runs one talk show on t.v so he goes like, ‘’I’ll tell my brother to summon you to his show, let’s see if you’ll be able to ask him those funny questions’’
‘’Ha, so you think what I’m asking is funny huh? Well if he has the answers now, I’ll ask him exactly what I asked you people. And I’m so disappointed that you don’t know why you are running this programme. Do you know that in asking people to come forward and join, they are putting their lives at risk? Who can really risk their life in the name of fighting the AIDS scourge? Are getting paid at all?
‘’Just as much as we want people to volunteer, we are also volunteering.’’
‘’So you are good Samaritans? Ha, okay. By the way, where is this pill from? I know it’s definitely not from Africa?’’
‘’No, it’s not from Africa’’
‘’Yeah right, I knew it’’

I once talked to P.S about this, and he enlightened me with something that scared the living day lights out of me. He told me that, whoever came up with this pill, is hoping to make a lotta money. Bcoz the minute it’s known that, this pill is working exactly the way they had anticipated, Africa is going to buy it from them with a lot of money. Can you imagine? So Africa is where they come to do their hide and seek abih? Firstly, they invented AIDS,(coz i believe this disease was somehow invented by someone), shipped it into Africa. Secondly, they invent condoms, they ship them into Africa. Ever since these condoms came in, people are dying like nobody's business. Now they’ve invented a TDF2 pill, it’s here in Africa. It’s administered to Africans to check for its effectiveness. If it works, I know it’s gonna be shipped back to its origin. And then Africa will start buying it from them! People, what are we Africans? Pieces of shit? To be used and dumped just like that? Dammmmnnnn!

Look my good people, if and when this pill comes to your doorstep, biko, don’t allow them to administer it on anyone. Let the person or country that invented the pill, start by administering it on themselves! Ah-ah! What sort of rubbish is this? Nonsense!

My mood is really spoilt. Make I go do the rounds in Blogville now jare, useless people!

Who Do We Question?

''For God so loved the world that he gave out his only son to die for our sins..''. I've heard this statement many times in my religious education lesson when i was still at juniour school. But now my boss has just lost her husband. Very sad. And in the incident it was like, ''for the husband loved his wife so much that he laid his life for her''. She and her husband have been married for as long as i can remember. They have three beautiful kids now. Two girls and a boy. In their family history, everytime she fell pregnant, she would become so very sick. But will get back to normal after giving birth. I mean it's normal to not feel well when pregnant. Morning sicknesses, nausea, fatique and all, but hers was unusual. Her feet will become swollen at..say the first two months. Very swollen she won't be able to walk. This time now, she's been admitted into hospital since discovering she was pregnant. And its been okay up till friday when we heard that the husband has committed suicide. It was on this friday that my boss gave birth to her son!

He left a note that he blames himself for his wife's sickness, and that he couldn't stand seeing her in hospital for that long. Who do we look up to for answers in this situation? What is my boss gonna tell her son? But you know how people are now? Ehh? They are asking whether thats the sole reason why the husband hanged himself. Mxem! Nonsense! We talking serious matter here. It's a very sad sad situation.



Anyhow sha, may his soul rest in perfect peace. I just shared that with you people coz it really gotten me wondering if love can really take control that one wouldn't mind practically taking their life coz they love someone. And also to let you guys know that i'll be gone for two weeks. I gotta write my exam now. Like i always say, a woman with multiple tasks's gotta do what she's gotta do. You people wish me luck oo! I really wanna finish this school thing. Have a lovely week ahead and the week after. Will miss everyone.

2nd half!