I Can't Stop Blaming Myself.

You remember Vicky now ehh? She'll be 8 this christmas

I been trying to put up a smile on my face for the past two weeks.I haven't even told P.S about this one.He's gonna read it from here.

You remember the story i wrote about the two cousins i was staying with in O/town when i was growing up right? The ones i was doing everything for? And about the female one who wanted to come drop her two daughters at home to stay with my mum? And that i told her i have my own bundle to look after? Well the story is HERE for you to read.

I'm gonna narrate this to you slowly so that you understand.After i declined my cousin's request to come leave her daughters with my mum,she went and dropped them off at grandma's in the village.That's where my mum was born.My grandma stays with my mum's youngest sister(my aunt).My grandma's last born.Now she too has got two kids of her own.A boy,19 and a girl 13.That means at the village it's my grandma,my aunt,her two kids and my cousin's two kids(remember the older one is 4 and the younger one is 2 and a half).

I been tryina put on a brave face for the past 14 days because the above 19 year old molested and raped the 2 and a half year old! This is happening at home.Where my mum was born.My maternal home.I didn't wanna write this up or tel P.S about it because we were waiting for the test results for the little girl and the boy and when they came out proven true i felt like dying.People we talking about a 2 year old here and somebody she looked up to as an uncle.A 19 year old for that matter.I donno..maybe the guy has gone insane or something.The journalists from The Voice newspaper were at home on Friday and wanted to publish the story.We chased them out.Please pardon me,i'm not gonna say much about this,just that it's a family matter and i hope we'll be able to solve everything accordingly,with God's help.

Now you might be wondering about Vicky's picture on top.Everytime i go home,the kids never stop talking about how their 'uncle Raider' gave them money and bought them goodies.Well uncle Raider is my mum's friend.But i haven't met him face to face.I only know about him from the kids.

It's might sound stupid,but after this incident it keeps occuring to me that something like that might happen to Vicky.Looking at how my cousin is doing right now,i just can't bring myself to think about how i would feel if anything of the sort happened to my girl.It might not be uncle Raider,maybe just some people in the neighbourhood,or when she's walking from school.In May,when i was home with P.S,i remember how he kept on reminding me to be careful with how this uncle Raider takes on to the kids.Oh my God!,and on saturday nite when i was bathing them,and i was bathing Vicky down there,i told her to never let anyone touch her down there,especially a grown up male.She promised she won't.Yesterday when i left home in the morning,Vicky had gone to church,and that gave me hope you know? Like if i can't be able to protect her,or if my mum can't,then God will.

For the record,i can't stop blaming myself for telling my cousin off when she wanted to come drop the kids at my mum's.I keep regreting it over and over.I know if i had taken the kids in,nothing like this would've happened.I couldn't even bring myself up to take the little girl some pictures,as she still has the bruises,one eye is still solemn.We are still wondering what could've gotten into that boy to do that kinda thing to an innocent little girl.I've never felt so helpless.

Please don't ask me how i'm doing right now.Some things you don't believe that they do happen until they are right at your doorstep.I won't be blogging as often as i would've loved.But i promise to pass by people's houses in blogville.My family shall get through,by God's graise.