Diary Of A Black Saved Woman..!

A New Day Has Come...

2011-10-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

The new me.

I looked Oh! so beautiful...

With all said and done, it's a new beginning for me, for my kids, and most importantly for my family. I thank God for everything. Stay tuned as i'll be introducing you to the Dongo family members one by one. As time goes by, i have to rush to church now, hubby is waiting outside.

Ciaaooo!!

And The Rain Came Down In Showers...!

2011-09-07T07:55:00.001-07:00

The bridal shower/kitchen party they threw for me was something different. It was different from all those outings i used to attend. Its was fit for somebody who now looks at life in a different way. There was no alcohol drinking, no dancing like mad people, no men to mingle with, strictly ladies, colleagues, church mates and two cousins. No braai and no DJ's, just a perfect night for a perfect woman who'll now be turned into a perfect wife. It was really romantic! Exactly what i wanted.

There were no stupid questions asked, like ''how did you two meet?'', ''how did he propose?'', ''how is he in bed?'', stupid things like that. We talked a lot about the kitchen, about what i should have in my handbag, how to use all those cosmetics(though i'm not the kinda person to use them), i didnt even know that a handbag is held in a certain way, i didn't know that there are different types of mascaras, shu!, i learnt a lot that night. But the thing is, i don't really have time for the mirror, i don't like applying make-up. That's my problem. But i listened anyways...

Looked like Barbie doll...lol..

Strike a pose!

They all listened as i told them how God saved me from the world.

i still remembered how to get down, it was for the last time though...lol...

Out of all the presents they bought me, i loved this one the most. My new house will look radiant!

Who?...Jaybabe?...YES!!!...

2011-09-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

When he asked me that at first i thought it was just a joke. But when i looked deep into his eyes i saw that he wasn't jokin'. So i stopped laughin' too and simply said...YES!

Finally...Blogvillagers...Jaybabe is getting married!

. Wait till you see the finished product. Simple, cheap, but exactly what i liked.

**whispers**...i'm scared!

The Beginning Of The End

2011-05-30T02:56:00.000-07:00

It's been one hell of a roller-coaster. A wonderful life i have lived. Most of which i now regret. But its in the past now. And it should stay right there. In the past. Mistakes are meant to make us right? Not break us. So i've been made anew.

-No more partying, clubbing,going out.
-No more spree drinking with colleagues, friends, cousins.
-No more talking dirty talk.
-No more sitting at home, watching nothing on t.v.
-No more doing what i used to do.
-No more making decisions on my own.
-No more thinking that everything is all about me.
-I am done!

Blogville!, am moving now, moving to where i should have been all this time, moving to where God had always wanted me to be. I've learnt more than i've ever thought i'll learn. That everything i see around me is nothing! Nothing at all! I've learnt that i don't control my life, that somebody else does. It's only now that i realise why i had to go through all that i went through. And i'm grateful. Because now i know. I know why?

Everybody is disappoined that i dont associate with them, the way i used to. Well i dont blame them. Because I know why. It shall be well with them, because they'll also come to know why. Thank you everyone. Thank you for being there when i needed you most. Take care and God bless!

Alex Turns One

2010-09-25T00:27:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Atty
Happy birthday toooooo yooooouuuuuu!

I cant believe that already 12 months has gone by...

Thank You Lord

2010-07-26T23:36:00.000-07:00

When God says No!, no one can say Yes!, and the reverse is true, when He says Yes!, no one can say No!. That's a fact!

The Unforgetable

2010-01-30T02:16:00.000-08:00

I was in the library that night when suddenly my phone rang which I had on vibration mode. When i looked on the screen, i recognised the code as that of my home village, my heart skipped a bit when i realised it was my neighbour's landline. God, what is it now? These people have to let me study oo! I was preparing for my 1st year finals.

''Jane, ke kopa gore o itshware tlhe mma(jane, please be calm)'', it was my neighbour's voice on the other side.
''Kgomotso, ke itshware, go rileng?(why should i be calm, what's wrong?)'', it had slipped my mind by then, that i was in the library, and that i had to keep quiet. I was already on my feet as i answered that call.
''Bashi o golafaditse mmago(your father has hurt your mum)''
''Hurt her how'', my voice was all over the building.
''He stabbed her''
''He what? what do you mean?'', sometimes when you hear things like that, you totally lose it. You don't even know what is means by somebody being stabbed.
''Where's my mum right now?''
''she's here with us''.
''How is she?''
''Aah, we donno''
''Kgomotso, she's right there with you, what do you mean you donno?'', by that time i was fast on my tracks, outta the library. It was around 8pm. I headed to the domitories, put my books away. In my heart i knew that, that night i had to be in Serowe, how? I didn't know, but i knew i had to get home. I ain't a christian and i don't go to church, but that night i saw myself putting all my faith in God and begging Him to see me safely home. I begged Him NOT to take my mum!

You people should've seen how i was walking oo! Practically running. It's many kilometers from the college to the bus stop, and the taxis had already knocked off by the time i hit the road. After walking/running for some time, a car came from behind me. I gave a sign for a ride, it stopped. I begged the guy to take me straight to the railway station. Lucky enough, immediately i got there, the train came. God works miracles.

3am i was in Palapye. Then i knew i had only 45km to get to Serowe. At the hiking spot, after waiting there for like, forever, a lil minibus came, the guy said he was coming from Gaborone. When i got in, i looked at him, my eyes swollen red, coz i cried all the way i was travelling. I had always told my mum that, ''this guy's goinno kill you''. But she wouldn't listen.
So i looked at that guy and told him, ''you taking me straight to the hospital okay?''. Ha! Can you imagine? Like it was my car. Silently, the driver just nodded and didn't ask me anything on the way.

When we arrived in Serowe, i could hear my mum's painful sobs from the entrance gate...

So when my brother/cousin,Fox-short for Lefhoko(meaning a word), Doc's brother, married his then girlfriend, Tshidi in December of 2008, i prayed so hard, i prayed everyday that they shouldn't go thru the same things you know? I know that couples do go through some rough times sometimes, but not to an extend where physical abuse end up turning to killings, stabbings and all. Click HERE for some beautiful wedding pictures, try and see if you can spot Jaybabe as one of the bridesmaid. Pardon me, there's a lot of them, take your time.

Look Who's Talkin'...

2010-01-06T23:56:00.000-08:00

Compliments everyone. My mum is goinno be mad finding this in here, but i decided to introduce myself coz i donno why she's not tellin' you people about me. Well...my name is Alex. I'll be 4 months old end of this month. I live in Serowe with my grandma, two brothers(Jnr and Jeddah) and one sister(Vicky).

I feel very honoured to be a member of this family. There's just so much love surrounding me everyday and when my mum is in the city, workin', Vicky helps grandma in tending to my needs while my brothers make sure i aint bored by watchin' t.v with me. Cartoons most of the times. I love Speedy Gonzales( the fastest mouse ever). I think i need to stop here because if my mum finds me writtin' stuff in here i'll be dead. She's saved a picture of the four of us somewhere in this machine. I think she's goinno write something about us soon. Meanwhile stay chuned...!

3 In A Row, Plus One On The Way

2009-08-26T04:07:00.000-07:00

The big question that made it possible for Mpule Kwelagobe to win Miss Universe In 1999 was when she was asked, ''If you become Miss Universe tonight, and during your reign you fall pregnant, what action would you like the organisers to be taken agaisnt you?''. And she answered, ''The reason why a woman was brought to earth was to give birth to children, so if i fall pregnant during my reign i'll gladly walk out the door with my head held high and go home, because if don't give birth, who will?''. And Mpule put our country, Botswana on the map that night when she was crowned Miss Universe 1999.

All i can say now is i just can't wait for next month, Sept, when i'll be bringing another life into this world. I wanted it to be a surprise, but the baby shower organisers wanted the sex of the baby. So guys i'm having another boy! I must admit, it has been a great pregnancy. No morning sicknesses, no cravings, nothing! All in all, 7years down the line, its feeling like the first time. Right now when i'm writting this he's kicking so fast i think the waters are gonna break at any time.This is my last post for the year. Will be gone for 3 months, that means see y'all next year.

If you wondering why, don't! Because if i don't give birth, who will?

One Day Took It All...Just One Day.

2009-08-11T03:00:00.001-07:00

Ever since i became me, there have been days when i wished i were dead. There were days when i wished time could just stand still. There were happy days and sad days. Crying days and laughing days. There were moments when I thought things could go exactly the way I wanted. Those days when I wished life could center only around me. Some of those days when I wished I couldn’t regret anything I went through in my life. I do remember those bad days I had.

The day when somebody told me they were not ready to take care of ‘some’ babies, when I was pregnant with his child. Ha! A baby that was made outta love. The day when somebody told me that I was going to use the spare bedroom that night because ‘his’ girlfriend was around. I’m talking about the person I spent almost ten years with. The person I regarded as my boyfriend at that time. The day when my dad stabbed my mum with a knife and luck had it our way. God took him instead.

The day when Jeddah broke his arm. I didn’t come to work that morning. Went straight to board a bus home. The day when my cousin was jailed for a crime he didn’t commit. God will bear him witness. How do you start believing that someone like him can rape his very own 2 year old niece?...

I do remember those good days too. I remember the 18th Of June, 23rd June, 20th October, 4th November and 25th December. I happily celebrate these days every year. These are my birthday, my mum’s birthday, Jnr’s birthday, Jeddah’s birthday and Vicky’s birthday, respectively. The first days I held my own kids in my arms. The day I started my first job. I can’t stop thinking’ about the first day we met. Me and him. All those nights. The days I went partying with my colleagues. All those days, have come and gone.

There’s just one day that’s gonna take a long time to forget. Or maybe I’ll never forget it at all. A day that took away my everything. Everything i depended on. For guidance, for strength, for wisdom. 1st Aug 2009. She has been the pillar of strength for this family. She’s been sick I know, but I do feel that it wasn’t yet time. I had hope. We all had hope. That one day she was gonna stand up and walk. That one day she was gonna stand brave and talk. How am I going to live a normal life now? Knowing that there wont be any other person to call D.K anymore? I won’t have a reason to smile when I go to the village anymore.

Why did it have to be now? Why did she had to go now, when…when everything was going so well for me? She won’t be there for my wedding. She won’t be there when this baby is born? D.K, you should have waited for at least a coupla more months you know? Just a few months.

My grandma was buried on the 8th of August 2009, and i wasn't there to bid her farewell. Click HERE to read about a woman who, in so many ways, has contributed a lot to the woman i am today.
May your soul rest in peace DK. Your life was simple but it was a life that i would give anything to have lived.

Peace Out!!!

2009-04-23T03:38:00.000-07:00

I shall be gone for a while. A very looong while.

Take care everyone.

End Of Year That Was...

2009-01-08T22:24:00.000-08:00

I know that everybody enjoyed their past year to the fullest. Well i did too, up until the 25th of December, xmas day. That was supposed to be Vicky's big day, but in the early hours of that morning, my best friend Tia passed away after giving birth to a baby boy. God! The doctors had told her not to fall pregnant that soon! When i asked her why she did that, she said it just happened. So now it has happened with her life!

I moved Vicky's birthday to the 1st of January, and it took me a lot of explaining to do to get her understand that i had to see Tia to her resting place.. Tia was laid to rest on the 31st of December and that night i slept around 10pm.

I miss her. I'm still mourning her. May her soul R.I.P.

Trying so hard to keep my mind at ease, the next morning of the 1st Jan, i took the kids to the salon for their hair. Started with the boys having a hair cut...

...and Vicky doing a simple pineapple.

She went crazy with a number 9balloon..

Yah i know, the cake was big enuff for the whole of Blogville, but you guys went home too, so i had to call the neighbouring kids...

She really felt like princess on her day..she deserved it!

The other kids made it more special too. I wanted to also take the 3 of them to a local swimming pool, but all thru festive, it had been raining cats and dogs back home. They were looking forward to it. Well..doesn't matter, will do it sometime.

I hope you guys did enjoy your festive and came back wholely. I'm fine myself. Will be fine. Compliments of the new year Blogville!! See you all around.

One On One With Her Highness( Abuse Against Women)

2008-12-10T23:53:00.000-08:00

For the very first time in Blogville, here's Jaybabe's mum. I was with her at one wedding back home over the weekend. We really did had a great time.

For a while now, i had been asking myself why i have to go through what i go through when it comes to men. I always ask myself if there's anything wrong i've done to deserve all this treatment. Why is it that i have to be sooo overprotected like that in a relationship? As if i can't take care of myself. Very good care oooh!! But no, all i get is 'i'm bahaving like this because i don wanna lose you'...!God! is that how somebody should behave if they don wanna lose someone? What makes them think they'll lose me?

Anyway, there's a tswana saying that, when interpreted, means that whatever will happen to me, will also happen to my young one, more or less the same. Whatever i go through, he/she will also go through the same. For example, my mum gave birth to me when she was 18, and i gave birth to Vicky when i was 19. Maybe Vicky will have her first baby either at 18, 19 or 20. I donno. Maybe.

My point here, is that i got into a one on one chat with my mum, about all that i go through in relationships. Yes i wanted to know if she went through the same kinda thing when she was growing up. Only to find that my mum's case was worse than mine.
My mum and i are friends. Very close friends. We talk about anything and everything, anytime, anywhere.

She told me about her experiences with men. One experience of hers that really shattered me was when she told me how she lost somebody she loved dearly. The guy commited suicide after he went to my mum's house and didnt find her at home. He never tried to find answers from my mum of where she went to. My mum said she was devastated. Especially that the guy left a note, that if people wanted to know why he did what he did, they should ask my mum. My mum said they never fought or had any misunderstandings b4 the suicide thing happened. So even up till now she doesn't know exactly why that guy took his life...

What scares me the most is that she said...its goinno be like that, for as long as i live...because she's been leaving like that herself...that's why she doesn't want any man in her life right now.
The advice i got from my mum was that, everytime something of this sort happens, i should always keep quiet. If he gets angry i should listen and not talk back at him. I should always apologise even if i know dep down that i aint the wrong one.

Guys, if at all it was written, is there anything i can do to change all that? Should i just forget about trying to change another person and accept that my life was meant to be that miserable? I mean i want to love someone, i want to be loved. I want to trust someone, i want be trusted. I dont wanna leave this kinda life because i dont want Vicky to go through the same things...Please help!

The Person In You

2008-12-02T04:56:00.000-08:00

Abuse in a relationship comes in so many ways. It can either be physical, emotional, pyschological or even verbal. I have witnessed abuse in all sorts of situations while i was growing up, and all the time it wasn't a good picture.

When i was about 4 years old, a guy used to beat my mum. When i calculate now, i think my mum was around 22. I remember accompanying my mum to the police station that night. And then another one emotionally abused her when we were staying in O/town. I was still very young by then. Maybe around 6 or so. Then we parted ways, she came to leave in Gabz while i remained with her sister(my aunt) in O/town. And i also got to witness yet another string of abuses whie staying with those people. The husband beating up the wife almost everyday.

As i was staying together with their children, who were growing up, and maybe going thru that 'growing-up' stage, their boyfriends used to beat them, right in front of us, the young ones. And then i moved again, from O/town, to a place where my mum got married. More abuse.

I have gone thru some form of abuse myself. A coupla days ago i asked my mum a very ermmm...kinda silly question. Well..i wanted to know now abeg...I asked her about her relationships while she was growing up. Whether all the guys she went out with, were treating her the way mine are treating me. Like all the guys i've gone out with, are all insecure, overprotective, jealous freaks and everytime they wanna take my life into their own hands and order me around. Like i have to do AS they say. God! This used to worry me a lot. But after talking to my mum, and realising that i'm walking right on her footsteps, geeee!, i've given up trying to find out why. I've gotten to a point where i dont even ask him why he's behaving like that.

Now, the big question is, who is wrong in situations like this? Is he wrong, coz he doesn't consider women abuse as the wrong thing to do? Am i wrong coz i'm allowing him to treat me like that? Why can't i tell him no? Why can't i say enough is enough when its enough? What does the person in you say?

...just last night, i had somebody's grip tight around my neck, just because i got an international call from a friend. Just a mere friend. What was i to do when he didn't believe what i told him about me and the caller?...

2008-11-26T21:48:00.001-08:00

He's Not A Boy Anymore...

2008-11-26T21:48:00.000-08:00

...and i must admit, it wasn't easy either for me or my mum, knowing that Jnr could barely walk, but then he was goinno have a baby brother. Well..we didnt know whether it was goinno be a boy or girl at that time. But that didnt matter. The fact that i was having another baby that soon really devastated everyone.

I remember coming home from college and i stopped at my mum's work place. I wanted to tell her face to face that i was goinno to have another baby. And when i said that she nearly fainted with disappointment. After a while she came around and we started talking with no hard feelings now. She wanted to know when i was coming home for good, and if i have already started buying baby clothes. She wanted to know a lot of things at once. Then i knew for sure that, she was looking forward to having this baby too.

6 years down the line, i'm having a real man growing beside me. Did i mention he's the one who taught his older brother, Jnr to write his,name? And now he just cant wait to start school. May God bless this guy for me. Help him achieve best things life will offer to him. What i love more about him, is the soft spot he has for his siblings. If he wasn't my son, i wasn't gonna think twice about marrying him!!!

The Yeah Ending...

2008-11-18T05:47:00.000-08:00

There are so many things i love about the ending of every year. First of all, those three in a row have their birthdays celebrated when the year ends. They all came like that- 3 in a row, October, November and December. This weekend i'm going home to celebrate Jeddah's. I dont worry that much about Vicky's birthday bcoz i know that when everybody celebrate xmas day, little do they know that they are also celebrating Vicky's birthday. Yep! she's a xmas child. Thats the other thing that makes her very special. She's the best xmas present i ever got from...ermmm...well...whoever.

The other thing i like about the year ending is all the parties we attend and all the fun we have. This past weekend Jaybabe and the cousins attended two bridal showers. Well we were invited to one, but gate-crushed the other. As always my camera followed suit!

Jaybabe and cousin Faith, having a small chat.

Faith and G, laughing out loud i gues...

Gossip mongers...lol..Doc and her friend Milly...

I have a feeling we were not the only gatecrushers, coz the 2nd bridal shower...it was fully packed!

The Dj wasn't doing bad at all..

The rainbow colors is the real makoya!

Jaybabe and workmate, Thabang making a toast. To what? I donno...

Jaybabe and a friend, Thato M.

All of them, having fun...

'The Voice' newspaper, was gonna rate this as 'pick of the week'!..lol..

There's what we call sleep walking right? So i gues this is..what?..sleep standing? Bwahahahah...thats Faith, down and out!

This is the person who wanted to go clubbing at around 5am! God!

Hope you guys enjoyed them pics. I'm signing out. See all of you around. Will be back to publish more pictures, probably next week. Ciaaaooo!!!!

Let The Parties Begin...!!

2008-11-10T06:48:00.000-08:00

Yep! It's that time of the year again, when we get to party till we drop around here, so my cousins and i attended two baby showers over the weekend. Yes! Same night! Thats being selfish right? Well..i know. But there was nothing i could. One was for my colleague and the other one was for a friend to my colleague, so really i had to attend both of them, and i brought my cousins along.

No gist at the moment so i'll just share with you guys the pictures i took. I've never partied like that in my whole life. I feel it was worth it. So many pictures, but i just picked the ones i really loved. Enjoy and have a productive week ahead!

Thats my colleague, G.G, we didnt stay long, just dropped the presents and hit the road coz we had to attend the other one.

I got punished for coming late, so had to dance on behalf of all the people i came with. It wasnt fair!!!

When we got to the 2nd shower, my office-mate, Thabang had to take the punishment, bcoz she came up with a very silly excuse of why we came late! Jesus! She talked of us having a car break down, when we came in a taxi! God! I wondered where that came from!

Pregnant girl, opening them presents.

Cousins Faith, G and Doc(seated).

There's nothin i hate as somebody calling me when i'm having fun! Abeg...

Faith and I...

What was that you said again????...

Jaybabe and Faith. Yes again!

Jaybabe, Kelly and Faith. Kelly is Faith's childhood friend. She's also fun to be with...

To the left...

...and to the right! No we were not promoting Savanna. We affectionately call it V6(Savanna 6%)..lol..

If you don't join the cycle...your mother is a witch!!!...

Doc and I. Catch the hair that talks...!

I can copy all the dance moves around the world, but this one? Mh-mh..it didn't do it for me...!

...meaning that i can be very serious if i want to...lol..

This might be one of the longest posts i've ever published. But i hope you liked the pictures. 'See' you guys again after the weekend. A colleague is getting married so we throwing a bridal shower for her...looking forward to some more crazy pictures?..lol..bet you are! See yah, and God bless!

The Devil...You Lied!!!

2008-11-03T04:56:00.001-08:00

Sometimes back in June this year, my mum's younger sister, last born to my grandmother, gave birth to a beautiful little baby girl. Her name is Rebabedi- meaning We are two. So arrangements have already been made that when Reba, as we affectionately call her, turns one next year, my mum adopts her! Aint those great news??? So FINALLY...Jaybabe is goinno have a baby sister! Heeeyyy!!!

We've already bonded oooh! One thing we all have in common is that the three of us(my mum, me and Reba) are born in June! God works wonders doesn't He? Now you devilish devil? You lied, you good for nothing son of a b...!!! Your weapon has failed you! Bcoz now...we are two!

While am still at that, over the weekend i decided for the very first time, since i started working for this company, to go out with the ball sports teams to some place out side the capital city. This picture was taken at the Lodge we booked. It was quiet some fun. And a stress reliever, coz i know if i didn't go out, then i probably would have come to work..geeeezzz!!

At The End...It Turned Out Right

2008-10-27T23:38:00.000-07:00

The arrival of Jnr a couple years ago brought a lot of changes between Rogers (Jnr's father) and his mum. Rogy’s mum had never accepted our relationship from the word go. So when Jnr came along, everything totally changed.

One day, Rogy, Jnr and I were at my aunt’s house in Gwest, when outta the blues, Rogy’s aunt and uncle came in unannounced and ordered Rogy to come along with them. They didn’t even accept our invitation into the house. Rogy had made it a habit of spending the whole day with us(Jnr and i) like everyday. Waking up at his house, he’ll come straight to my own. Jnr was barely 2 months old and his dad will help me in tending him while maybe I washed the nappies or made his bottle of milk.

Sometimes he washed the nappies while I played with him. Like we took it in turns. Rogy really loved his son, and it showed in the way he changed his nappies. I loved the way he wiped out the poo with baby wet wipes and applied baby powder! The way he placed his son in a new nappy, he did it much better than the other girls I see these days. It doesn’t matter how things turned out between us, there are still some good memories..

That fateful day his folks came and ordered him to come home with them. They told him how he doesn’t belong where he was, they told him how I have given him ‘muti’ to follow me around, an that it showed even in the way he washes nappies!
‘How can a man wash baby’s nappies? We’ve never seen that in our lifetime!’, they said to him. Jesus! That didn’t happen in THEIR lifetime dammmnit! These are the modern days! God! As I knew how veeery quiet Rogy was (well..Jnr is worse, is it because he’s named after his father?), that day he managed to talk back at his folks! I couldn’t believe my ears!

‘’I am not going anywhere!’, he snapped back.
‘’Rogy I said you are getting out of here, out of this house, away from this girl!’’, that was his uncle, pointing at me.
‘’Babe, go with them’’, I persuaded him. He looked at me, then at Jnr, and quietly walked out, following his uncle and aunt.

About 20 minutes down the line, Rogy came back. When I looked into his eyes, they were blood shot red. I knew he was crying, then I chose not to ask him what went down.
Well…people Jnr turned 7 on 20th Oct and last Saturday we held a little ‘cake-eating’ for him. Maybe one day he’ll come to know about all these, but again I don’t see that happening because everything turned out fine for everyone. I believe everything happens for a reason.

Many a people suggested I sue Rogers for child maintenance. I can’t see myself going down that road. I feel when I do that I’ll be reminding him that we share a son, but abeg…he knows that alright! I’m not having that much of problems raising these kids alone, and I don’t see any reason why I should digrace myself by dragging somebody to the magistrate, who’s sensible enough to know that he’s got kids. Please! Ah-ah!

Jeddah’s birthday is coming on the 4th of November. He’ll be turning 6. Am all smiles when writing this coz I just spoke to my mum a coupla minutes ago and she told me that she’s gone to register him for next year’s standard one intake. Kai! Minus one problem!

Driven To Cheat?????

2008-10-17T02:19:00.000-07:00

Someone once asked in a comment: Can a man drive a woman to cheat? Why or why not? Of course I have to think of it from my perspective:
Can a woman drive a man to cheat?One person cannot drive another person to cheat … but they sure as hell can encourage them.

A cheater is a cheater. They had it in their heart to cheat (not saying that they knew they would or planned to do it … but they had the capacity to do it in their heart). Someone who is not a cheater is simply not going to cheat. You can entice them, put the p*ssy in their face, and threaten their job … but they won’t do it.
Even if an “anti-cheater” is walking in the strip club, trips on spilled drink, happens to fall into a condom someone was holding, falls into the girl doing toe touches on the floor … and she happens to be ok with it … and magically no one else can see them because a curtain just fell down hiding them from view … he still would pull out and say “sorry … but I have a girlfriend”. Yes … someone who is determined to not cheat and lacks the capacity to do it … won’t. Period!

But … not everyone is like that. Some are born with inclination to cheat. Scientists now are trying to determine the gene, but until that breakthrough comes … you just don’t know. There are a few different kinds of cheaters. You have your natural born cheaters (never smelt a pussy he didn’t like), your occasional cheaters (sometimes you just need a change), and the accidental cheater (same scenario as above … he just aint pull out) … but their all cheaters.

So … given that everyone is either a cheater or anti-cheater, no one can be forced from one group to the other. Sure, a cheater may be able to resist cheating … but he’s not an anti-cheater. The girlfriend or wife of the “non cheating cheater” can’t drive him to cheat … but she can sure as hell encourage his ass.

By allowing your man to know your not the one, your encouraging him to cheat. By not being the best girl you can be … by being selfish … by withholding previously promised s.e.x … by cheating on him … you are encouraging his ass. Just like if you put a pipe in front of a recovering fiend … you are essentially giving him fuel to cheat.

But … the anti-cheater won’t do it. Cheating is a personal decision … and no matter how close to the edge your pushed, you are the one cheating, you are the one breaking the rules, and you need to own up to that sh*t like a man (or woman).
Feel me?

So I Heard...

2008-10-17T01:42:00.000-07:00

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think "it will get better". You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behaviour.* Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... Even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships... There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.* Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful:

Dr. Phil
You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices.. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts....

Truth Hurts...

2008-10-04T23:33:00.000-07:00

Hellooo! Blogvillagers! I hope everybody is just as cool as that. I must say it feels gr8 to be back. For how long have i been gone? Dammmnnn! So much catching up to do, so much to gist about, so little time and space to do all that. Anyway, guys Jaybabe is back, for good now. I missed all of you. I hope no-one gave any-one any problems. Back to business now, i'm pictured here with two of my cousins, Faith and Dorcus. Remember summer is here, so in Gabz its like party tickets have been issued out. There's partying all around town. So here, we had attended one kitchen top-up party somewhere.

They day started out so well. We were at my aunt's house in Gwest. All of us. In fact 6 of us- cousins. We lost two cousins, G and her sister K along the way, after G and i had a very steamy argument. Sis G have been sleeping with the father of her kid while they've long gone separate ways. This drove us all crazy. People didnt wanna talk to her about it. I even asked her blood sister K, what the reason could be, for G to be stooping so low to let somebody violate her like that. Nobody knew. But that night i decided, that was enough!

I donno how and when G and P started going out. Not that i cared anyway. P is twice G's age plus more(which doesn't matter). The relationship resulted in a little cute girl called Carsandra ( Kaz in short). I remember on Kaz's 1st birthday party, i came to know P one on one. He was okay to me, but then there was something about him that was kinda weird. I couldn't put a finger on it, i developed hatred for this guy. I didnt tell G then, but his sight made me sick. The day he totaly pissed me off was when he told me that he was sexually attracted to me! Can you just imagine? I've always known there was something weird about this guy! Mxem! Nonsense!. Ehee! Now that gave me the gate pass to tell G to drop him. But did she? Let alone believe me? No!

Now on that particular night of the party, we were having fun you know? Like real fun. The music, the crowd, the weather that night, was just perfect. As if its a norm, guys will always lurk around to maybe try and catch what? The fattest worm? Maybe, but i was really happy when i saw a coloured guy talking to G. I was like, 'yeah, at least now she'll let go of that swine and try and get on with her life'. Ha! You guys donno anything oooo!
When later i asked her,
'' So how did it go?''
''How did what go?''
''You and the coloured guy now?''
''Jay, i love P!''
''Ha! Gosego, when are you gonna let go of that guy and get a life? You talking about the same guy who wanted to sleep with me dammnit!''. She started sobbing and people came around us. They said it wasn't me talking. That i was tipsy, but i swear i wasn't. I had always wanted a chance to talk some 'sense' into this girl.
''But he's the father of my baby''
''Was it a crime? Who toldu that having a baby with somebody meant the two of you shud stick together? Even when he's bullshiting around like he's doing right now?. Look G, remeber when i toldu Kab invited me to a friend's birthday bbq? At P's house? Some girl came over, and later Kab told me that, that was his girlfriend. And what about the messages you always read on his phone? From many different women? Geeee! girl when are you gonna really see this guy for what he is? He doesn't deserve you, you know?''
..she was crying now..
''I don't care whether you are gonna cry your eyes out the whole night, but i really hate P Gosego, and i don't think he's right for you. When i saw you talking to that guy(the coloured guy) my heart beat with joy, you know? Like its high time you hooked up with somebody you know?''
''Jayn, you and i are two very different people. It was easy for you to let go, but i cant.''
''Ha! You know what else P told me? That every time i go home i should let him know, coz as you obviously know, he runs his business that side, he said we should hook up and go out for some drinks together. Don't you think if he can ask that of me, he's doing it with other women there? You know Rogy( my ex) used to want the same thing from me, just bcoz we share kids, but i never allowed him get that. Why are you doing this to yourself? P will never look at you again, as the woman he fell in love with you know? He'll just use you to satisfy his sexual needs, not anything else.''
''But he helps me with the baby''
''Thats HIS responsibility Gosego. Don't forget that-''

Just at that moment G's sister K approached us and bathed G with ermmm...whatever she was drinkin' i dont remember what it was..!

Blogvillagers, why do women allow themselves to be used like that? Why do we go back to sleeping with our ex's? Is it just for the sake of it? Or that we miss what we used to know? Or that we are lonely? Or what?

G's story continues to Faith's 22nd birthday which came in the weekend that followed. Stay tuned...

Seize The Blog...

2008-07-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. Just passed by to say that i'll be out for a while. Certain things to take care of. Will still check on all of you, but no blogging from me for a while. I hope when i come back, there'll be a lot to gist about.

Take care of yourselves...love you all.

Muzic List Tag

2008-07-08T02:06:00.001-07:00

Shuu! Even when i try and stay away from blogging, somebody just comes along and disturbs my cooling off! Anyway, my peeps, how you all been doing? I been fine. The landlady has at last installed in the burglar door, and also put in a new door. Geee! But i still freak out everytime when i think about going home. I mean to that house. I lock up the door immediately i get into the house. You guys should see at what speed i jump from the bed when i hear the dog barking outside! This aint coolat all..

Well, Ahmed Babatunde Chibuzor gave me something to do here, and it was really fun reading other people's take on this tag...lol..so here's my turn:

Put your i-tunes/music player/Nokia N95 on shuffle

For each question press the ‘next’ button to get your answer

You must write the name of the song down no matter what!!!

After you’ve answered all the questions tag 5 other people and let them they’ve been tagged and to do the meme themselves:

If someone says ‘is this okay?’ You say:
I want it that way- Backstreet Boys
I always feel on top of the world when things are done my way. Gues i still have to create room to include what another person wants too.

What would best describe your personality?
One Sweet Day- Mariah Carey ft Boys2Men
Yeah..just have patience you guys. One day you'll all know the real person called Jaybabe.

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Shoop shoop- Cher
LMAO...well, maybe a guy who can dance as well as me. I dont mind giving some learns ooh! Coz really i'm a very good dancer. You should see how i 'cut the cake', 'break the rock', and how i do 'dragon'(better than how Lorato was teaching Tatiana in BBA2, I can do much better than that), 'sanola' and all of those other dances you can think of..lol..am serious.

How do you feel today?
The Rhythm Divine- Enrique Iglesias
Yep. I think i can do with a lil bit of music today.

What is your life’s purpose?
People Asking Why- Seal
Thats what i wanna do all my life. Giving answers to all the questions people through at me. Like, 'girl, didnt you know anything about a condom? Should have used one you know?, if you couldn't do without shaggin'. You wouldn't be having 3 kids at this your age!'..i have answers to questions like those..

What do your friends think of you?
Run To You- Bryan Adams
Somebody told me that i am a good listener. I gues that why maybe a lotta people run to me with their problems.

What do you think of your parents?
It's Not Right, But Its Okay- Whitney Houston
There was nothing she could do at that time. But if she was asked what she spent all her time doing during all those years, she's got me to show. I love this woman!

What do you think about very often?
Celine Dion- some Spanish song. I can hear some 'cele cele a tra mo, ko mo atra flow..hai, i donno the name of the song. Some funny words in there. Thats how my life has been so far. A colaboration of confusing events!

What is 2+2?
Break me, shake me- Savage Garden
..just do anything you want, but you won't make me..

What do you think of your best friend?
Thank you India- Avril Lagvine
Thank you very much. I dont have friends. Oh! You mean these ones at Blogville? Aaagg! so much to write about them. Let's put that a post for another day shall we?

What do you think of the person you like?
Lean On Me- Michael Bolton
Thats exactly how it shud be...

What is your life story?
Lay Back In The Arms- Smokie
Yep. Simple and laid back. LOL..this is so much fun..

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Thank You For The Music- ABBA
What du mean? I've grown up already. Which growing up are you refering to? On an added note..People use music to express their inner feelings and thru music, one can know what somebody's going thru and the kinda person they are. Music is what you are as an artist.

What do you think when you see the person you like?
I donno much- Aarone Neville
Exactly. I wouldn't know much about that person.LOL..

What do your parents think of you?
Let's Do It(Let's Fall In Love)- Alanis Morissette
Bwahahahahahahaha....lol..geeee!!!

What will you dance to at your wedding?
When I Remember L.A- Celine Dion
Where on earth is L.A?

What will they play at your funeral?
Endless Love- Lionel Richie
..is what i'm taking with me as i embark on this journey. What would you want me to tell Father when i get there?

What is your hobby/Interest?
T.Pain- something that goes, 'lemme do the things you do blah blah blah..i donno the name of the song. Oh! My hobby/interest? ermmm...

What is your biggest secret?
The Lord's Prayer- Sarafina
This is the truest truth i've ever spoken in years...!!!

What do you think of your best friends?
China- Tori Amos
hahaha...why are you guys looking at me like that? What du want me to say about China?..lol

What should you post this as?
A New Day- Celine Dion
Every dimming of the day ends with some of one's dreams accomplished, but every breaking of a new day holds something special that'll come as a surprise. So hold what you have dearly, coz you donno what tomorow brings.

With all said and done, i'm tagging kay-shawn, archiwiz, shalewa, rayo, E.L.N.G.

If some of those i've tagged have already done this, that means i been away for a long time. My sincere apologies. All of you stay blessed!

After I Saw Them...They Came...

2008-06-26T23:12:00.001-07:00

I used to think i knew what a dream could be. I used to think that a dream is what you think about. That when you keep thinking about something, it'll come to you in another form or as a different story in a dream. The dream i told you guys about (refer to the post below)now happened in reality last night. If i go into details some of you maybe will get lost along the way. So i just wanted to tell you guys that, those boys i dreamt about, REALLY came to my house this dawn around 4:30am.

Lucky enuff they didnt steal anything. They didnt even as much as hurt me. I'm still shaking even when writting this because i can't believe that something that i dreamt about happened in real life. Maybe i'll tell you guys about it some other time, but now i'm still...**sigh**. And I think the worst didn't happen bcoz all of you guys prayed for me. You all prayed nothing bad happen. And i thank you all. I think at this point i should say that i owe my life to all of you.

Thank you very much again for all the comments that were published at Afrobabe's blog on my birthday. You guys donno how much that meant to me.

The first person i called this morning was my mum. I could feel her helplessness on the phone. She even suggested i try and forge a transfer to a town nearer home. I've asked the landlady to install a burglar door in my house (something i should've done when i moved in), while in the mean time i'm looking for another house.

Blessed weekend..

I Swear I Saw Them..!

2008-06-20T05:05:00.000-07:00

Just last night I could hear the noise in the kitchen in my house, but I was reluctant to go and check who it could be at that time of the night. The TV was on and the music playing on the radio just made me doze off, with my head facing the other side of the bed. Usually I face east, but I guess I was watching a movie when I fell asleep. I was too lazy to face the usual direction. The noise was like two people were discussing something.

And something I couldn’t really make head or tail of. Slowly I crapped up from bed, making sure I don’t alert the two people in the other room, I pulled my red baseball bat next to the chest of drawers. Just as I was about to the enter the kitchen, the two people met me half way, while coming into the bedroom. They also had baseball bats on their hands. They were huge and muscular like that. They put on orange overalls. I recognized the other guy. I knew I knew him, just didn’t remember his name or where I saw him, but I knew him.

Me: Aaaggg! So it was you? You scared the hell outta me.
Guy 1: Yeah
Me: And who’s your friend?. I asked pointing to the other stranger.
Guy 2 (stranger): Is your p**sy cleanly shaven?
Me (to my self): What? How the f*** can this guy speak to me like that? He doesn’t even know me! God! And then it dawned on me. Oh my God! They are going to rape me!.
Use your imagination Jane. Think, think, think harder..
Okay…ermmm…ermm..ermmm..lemme go and pee first. I told them as I swiftly walked roughly past them. When they didn’t stop me, I had an idea. I locked the door behind me so that they won’t get away.

When I got outside, I walked hurriedly towards the house that was opposite mine. I knew my mum was sleeping inside there. I was practically banging on the door instead of knocking. My mum opened for me and I jumped right in. I tried between gasps, to tell my mum that there are men in my house and I didn’t know what they wanted. My mum didn’t believe me so she just brushed me off. When I started to cry that’s when she took me serious. And then we went around waking the other tenants to come and deal with the guys in my house. Coz I told my mum that I have locked them inside. We all went to my house and people gues what we found when I opened the house? Two small boys in their school uniform drinking tea! Small as in maybe grade 4 and 5!

Mum: Jane, is this why you woke us all up in the middle of the night to come and see small kids drinking tea?
Me: But…but...but..mum please I swear I saw two men, not these boys! Two men. And they wanted to rape me! Please mama believe me! I’m telling the truth. I looked at the boys, ‘’you suckers tell mum that you were men before I called them here dammnit! Tell everyone that you are those men I saw...’’

The little boys just looked at me. Saying nothing. Just looking. God! I’m not going to sleep in this house oo! So I followed my mum to hers and she didn’t allow me to sleep with her on the bed. I just wrapped myself with a towel and slept on the floor next to her bed…

Now Blogville, please tell me, ‘’what kinda dream be this one?’’ Seriously. Is there any dream interpreter in Blogville? Biko, come to my rescue now abeg…And you know, the red baseball bat is in reality my red camping chair!
One thing for sure, this dream is not goinno spoil my weekend oo! My birthday was during the week so I wanna do something tomorrow Saturday. My other cousin is coming in from Francis town, so we wanna have fun. Not party but celebrate my growing a step up.

Blessed weekend guys…

The Father I Never Knew

2008-06-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

The year is mid 1980. Sometimes in June. Mary made sure that the cold winter breeze didn't come anywhere near her daughter. Wrapped up in a shawl and a heavy blanket on top, Mary held on to her baby tight, as she stood by the railway office awaiting her call to board the train. Mary was accompanied by her own mother, and she was all smiles because she was going to meet the father of her baby in Palapye. She just imagined the look on his face when he sees his own blood for the first time. She couldn't stop talking about him, and telling her mother how she(her mother) is going to get along just fine with her child's father as he was the most sweetest guy on earth.

It took them about 6 hours to reach Palapye. In those days the train was the most oftenly used mode of transport as it was safe and very cheap. And when they reached the railway station in Palapye, so many people got off the train, while a lot more got in. There was so much traffic that Mary almost lost sight of her mother when she went to get their luggage.
When they were all done, they stood there waiting for him. Mary couldn't stop looking this way and that. Anxious to see him walking towards them. God! Why is he taking forever? Mary wondered. Mary's mum could see that her daughter was loosing patience and she kept on re-assuring her. It was times like those that one would realise what a good source of strength a mother can be. Suddenly...there he was! Coming at full speed towards Mary, her mother and the baby.

Mary started beeming with joy at the sight of him. He came towards them, shoving his way through a lot of travellers who were fighting their ways from and into the train. Mary gave her mother the baby so that she could prepare herself to welcome her soon-to-be husband. All of a sudden, she lost sight of him. God! Where did he go now? Where is he? Mary looked at her mum. For what? Answers maybe. But he was gone.

15 years later i came to know the man who, i was told was the same guy who abundend my mum and her mother at the train station! I was told he was my real father. I didn't believe that. Do you guys blame me? I don't think so. I would have believed it if this guy had tried all he could to make up for all the time he lost and all the heartache he brought to my mum. He should have tried to show me a fatherly love i never had. But instead he behaved like some high-school guy, who gets so over excited after a girl agrees to his wooing. This guy was so excited at the thought of having a 15 year old kid. Fuck! For what? Where the fcuk had he been when my mum struggled to see me through to all the 15 years i was then? Why the fcuk did he run away? As if that wasn't enuff, he went ahead and physically and emotionally abuse my mum! God!

Now you guys understand why i never realy took to this guy hey? And the reason why i didn't change my second name to his when he married my mum? Well...the truth is...i really hated this guy! Ooooh! yes i did. And i don't feel sorry about that. And all the time i've been staying with him, i never really felt that he was my father. I felt nothing for him. Absolutely nothing! I didn't even cry at his funeral. When my aunt phoned me to tell me about his death i was like 'really? Oh, okay''. Yah thats what i said. If you thinking that in my heart i said 'thank God!''...well..yah i said that. Coz i knew my mum was goinno be free from all the abuse and all.

So, to all the fathers out there, please make sure your kids get to know you. Even if you are not able to take care of them, or be with them as much as you have to, let them know you care about them. Shit happens and the saying that goes 'any man can have a baby, but it takes a real man to be a father'..is true most of the times.

One more thing..celebrate African Child's Day on June 16 with caution. And wish me luck on June 18 as i take another step up into adulthood.

Happy Father's Day...!

Jaybabe On A Safari Cruise

2008-06-09T04:52:00.000-07:00

It's unlike me right? Yah i know. It was my first time to leave Blogville for a few days without letting you guys know. And i'm sorry. Well..i needed ample time to prepare for the cruise i went on with P.S last week. Really i cant say much, but will try and upload some nice pictures for you guys. Hope they'll tell you about it all. And i must also admit i enjoyed every minute of it, though a part of me also missed Blogville. Well..you guys are doing great, all of you, i gues.

The first days P.S came in we stayed at Camp Itumela in a little town 45kms from my home town. I gues those three in a row enjoyed themselves too, and God knows how much i would give anything to see them happy like that everyday. As its the case, these three are trouble multiplied 3 three time maybe. We found the ham missing in our groceries, and the three didnt know where it went to until Vicky made up a story about finding a cat inside the house licking its mouth. I wish this girl to grow fast to blog about where the ham went to and the story about the cat. God!!!!

Chalets at Camp Itumela. Very cool stuff.

3 in a row spent their first night in here at Camp Itumela, but the next day we decided to swap places coz they didnt give us any time to sleep. They wanted to use the toilet every second they had to sleep all through the night. It was cool, but again the tent is so very cold! Maybe thats why the anklenappers couldn't sleep! Maybe.

After dropping the kids off at home, the cruise started with this guy somewhere deep down Chobe game reserve. I wanted to take a picture of me with him, but immediately P.S opened the door, this bloody guys ran off. I learnt from P.S that when animals see a person inside a car, it doesn't matter, but immediately they see your legs they run off! Stupid fools!

I forgot the name of the river, and i'm so ashamed to say that P.S knows all the four corners of this country like the back of his hand. Just imagine! Not knowing anything there is to know! Geeee! He told me the name of this river..dammmnnnit! what was it he said? Anyway...we found that truch stuck in there. I dont wanna explain how i felt when we crossed the river ourselves! Like i could see the waters by my window! God! P.S said the year before, when he came that way, the river was overflowing, and he did managed to cross, but one crocodile hit the front of the car! I would've died there and there i swear! I didn't believe it when we crossed over, leaving the poor truck and its drivers still tryina dig it out.

In our culture we believe that its not right to come face to face or into contact with your totem. My totem is an elephant. But here i am, looking at it. By the way it was my first time to see this animal. P.S told me that in this area there are so many of them. Well, i've heard, but he told me to wait and see!

Here, we were at Savuti camp. Good people, here you better be careful oo! Camp at your own risk! Thats why we decided to make our own double storey shack. PS told me how the lions are gonna be coming in at around evening time, and do you people want to know at what time i went to sleep? It was fun but really i didnt get enuff sleep that night. Everytime I closed my eyes I'll hear the lion roaring some few meters away! Can you guys believe that PS will even laugh at me when i get scared? The next morning i just couldn't wait to get outta that place.

Foolish bucks! Get outta the way dammnit!

Some beautiful chalet we used that over looked the Chobe River. Very beautiful. This was at Toro Safari Lodge.

I wasn't really laying there for a tan, i don't need it do i?

Jaybabe chilling at Chobe Safari Lodge. Very nice place. I think somebody was paparazzing around. I would kill that person!!!..lol..

Chobe Safari Lodge bar. The way beer will pass down your throat at this bar, sounds so much like the water flowing swiftly down the river near by...

Ladies rest rooms. God!!...i could eat inside this place!

10 minutes before the boat cruise...

Chilling on the boat deck. It was better to get a lil nearer...

Our boat was not the only one in the river...

More boats...

Don't mind those elephants, look at P.S's pony-tailed hair on the left there. This hunk's hair had grown so big since the last time i saw it. All shiny with spirals like it was tonged. Damnnn..tried so hard to ask him how he manages to keep it healthy like that. Just ask him to take off the band and watch it over his shoulders! God!!
One other thing you should know about this guy is that he loves elephants so much like his whole life depended on them. Not excusing the other animals, but i think elephants are his favourite.Log on to his Website for more...

...lol..PS thinks i was flirting with those guys on the boat! Ha! Me?..i aint a flirt. I can't do that in front of my man anyway...thats being disrespectful...

The boat cruise took us 3 hours 30 minutes. So thats Chobe Safari Lodge viewed from the river. After the sun went down. Beautiful don't you think?...

I gues you can see Jaybabe getting off the boat right?...

If i had enuff money as i wished i'll use this mode of transport everyday. I couldn't believe it only took me one and a half hours to get back to Gabz from Kasane. Instead of the usual 6/7 hours by bus. As always, it was not easy to see him go. But i know we'll meet again.
Guys, i really think i needed this outting you know? All those weekends i never had due to my commitment to this job, God! Ijust needed some time out. And i must say that i feel that as my birthday is coming on the 18th, i think i've already celebrated it.
I have about more than 400 pictures taken on this holiday, and really i just thought i should share with all of you just those, coz i'm so lazy to upload all of them at photobucket. But thats just about all that happened while i was away. Geeee....this must have been one of my longest posts ever right? I'm tired too. See all of you guys at your pages. I will try and develop www.jaybabe.com I'm tryina figure out what to put in there.
Any personal questions should be sent to seane@jaybabe.com

I love you all...and i missed all of you...

Modimo Wame!...I Got Tagged..!

2008-05-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, i had thought i escaped this, but OLAMILD and ALOOF somehow sensed that i hadn't done this and tagged me. Lemme follow the lead and post the rules:

1.link the person who tagged you…
2. Mention the rules in your blog…
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged...

I started by looking up for the meaning of quirk-yes i didn't know what that meant. In fact i googled it up and came to know that it means strange or odd things. Now, i really donno if what i'm gonna put down is really strange or what but:

Quirk 1
I dont like speed. I don't like people who are speed freaks. Thats y i use public transport coz their speed limit is 80km/hr or less. A friend of mine when he comes visiting, he uses these rental cars which are confined to a speed limit of 100km/hr or less. Going beyond that, the car starts making this annoying beeping sound..lol..i love that. If i get lucky one day and get my own car, i'll ask them-the makers, to install that kinda annoying beeping sound. Its better late than never right?

Quirk 2
I had a car accident, in fact a bus accident in 1986. I remember i fell asleep on the way and when i woke up the bus had over turned, there was a lotta screaming, people fighting for the door to get out. I was 6 years old, and that happened about...ermmm..21 years ago, but up till now i cannot sleep while travelling! Thats for sure. Even if can stay out late, or go clubbing till dawn when i have to travel in the morning, people i won't fall asleep in the bus ooo! Would wait till i get home. And ermmm..coz that accident happened while there weren't more developments like now, the road was still gravelled, and up till now i still shudder at the use of gravel roads. I prefer tared roads. I wonder if i'll ever change about this.

Quirk 3
People, i'm very impatient. If i want something now, or if i want it done like now, now has to be time! Same as when my mind's made up. I can't change it.

Quirk 4
I have this odd habit of thinking funny stuff when my mum tells me that she's not feeling well. Hey..God!..It happens all the time. When she does that, i start getting scared. I start thinking about what will i do if she leaves this earth. I start seeing myself having problems with the kids. Okay, they'll move to Gabz, but when i go to work, who'll look after Jeddah coz Vicky and Jnr will both be at school? When they come back from school, will they be able to cook lunch for themselves or will they have to wait for me? Jesus! But they'll be hungry, and can't wait for 5pm. Oh! my God!..then it'll dawn on me that i need my mum more than i can ever imagine. She shouldn't go oo! Not now..and not ever. Then i tell myself, ''Jane, just shut up! Nothing of that sort will happen''

Quirk 5
Well...things have been moving fine for me lately. I'm doing quiet well as a mother and as an individual. But still i haven't dropped this habit of locking myself inside the house for like maybe the whole weekend, that is if i aint working. I gues i'm used to it now. One of the tenants once told me, when she saw me getting outta the house, she was like, ''so you've been around?''. I was like, ''yeah, why?''. And she goes, '' We thought you went home for the weekend?''. ''No, i've been inside the house, probably sleeping..lol..''

Quirk 6
I do like fantacising. Sometimes i see myself with all the bloggers in one big house. I see myself trying to get Pamela to explain what she was doing in the bath-tub. I see Afrobabe telling Dog about her 1st encounter with a man. I see Olamild and Sparkle trying out some new tunes. Really, i can't stop daydreaming. I do that like everyday.

Shuu! I've said enuff. Now i'm tagging the following people. If they've done this already, that'll mean i've been out of Blogville for a long time. And yes i know i haven't been around for quiet some time now.
Toochi, neema devine, disgodkidd, eddiie, incognaija, Pardon Me For Who I Am

Crazy Things Kids Say

2008-05-05T04:13:00.001-07:00

Sometimes i wonder what really goes on in kids' minds when they say the things they say and ask the questions they ask. And i must admit i think i'm really gonna have a tough time dealing with these three in a row. Like i said, went home over the long weekend and it was really gr8 spending ample time with them anklesnappers(like somebody calls them)

Was busy cooking in the kitchen and Vicky was helping me out while we talked.
''Jane?''
''Mmh?''
''Who's Jnr's mother?''
''I am''
''And who's Jeddah's?''
''I am''
''Who's daughter am i?''
''I am''
''Mh-mh! Jane? you mean like you have 3 kids?''
''Yeah''
''Yeah baby'' I said, summoning her to pass me a bowl with crushed tomatoes.
''How many kids does mama have?''
''Awwwww! Bona(her pet name) you donno? I am her only child''
''How come you have three kids and mama has only one?''
''Errmmm, Ode(her other pet name) i think during her time there wasn't enuff money to buy kids you know? So i gues maybe i had enuff mani,so i bought the three of you.''
''Why did you decide to buy three of us?''
''Coz i loved three of you, pass me the wooden spoon'', she passed me the wooden spoon.
''Mmh! But you shouldn't have bought Jnr, you know i don't like that guy?''
''Why?''
''He beats me and Jeddah all the time''
''What will you be doing to him such that he ends up beating you two?''
''Nothing.''
''Nothing?''
''Mmh-hmm!''
''I don't believe you.''-at that moment i heard Jedday scream outside. I pipped my head out and shouted, ''Jeddah what is it?''
''Jnr beat me..''he said, between cries...''See, Jane i told you.''

Later that after noon, we were watching Shrek 3 and there's a part where Fiona shouts to Shrek, telling him that she's pregnant. Jeddah turned to look at me.
''Jane?''
''Yeah baby''
''What does Fiona mean by that?''
''She means she's going to have a baby for Shrek''
''Where is the baby now?''
''Ermmmm...she means that Shrek is going to be a father.''
''When?''
''Later''
''Where is she putting the baby?''
''I think the baby is at the swamp.(Coz i had previously watched the movie, so i knew the babies were only goinno be shown while at the swamp)
''Mmh?''
''Yeah''
''Okay.''
Pweeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! That was close.

When i asked Jnr what he was doing with my phone, he said he was sending P.S an sms. LOL...silly boy.
So, it occured to me that my mum is not the only person who wants me to find and man and get married. It was in the evening when we were out side at the traditional kitchen, you know tryina make fire to heat water for their bath,and Jnr started it. This guy nearly gave me a heart-attack.
''Jane, do you know that they day you get married,we are going to use this kitchen to cook, with large pots like that?''
''Ha! Jnr, what makes you think i'm going to get married?''
''Kgomotso has two kids and she got married (Kgomotso is our neighbour) You have kids too so i think you are going to get married.''
''People who get married are those who have male friends Junior, i don't.''
''But you said P.S is coming. Are you guys not getting married?''
''No''
''Why?''
''Because i don't wanna get married.'' Foolish me. How can i be telling such a small boy this rubbish, as if he understood a thing.
''So why is P.S coming over?''
''Because he wants to see you guys.''
''Thats just it?''
''Junior, go get the bucket in the house we go fetch water from the tap. You talk too much wena waitse?''

Sort of...

2008-04-29T02:02:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much guys for all the comments on my last post. I must apologise for not replying to all of them. By now you guys should understand what happens when it becomes month end this side. We get so goddammnn busy. But i'm back now and i must admit, it really feels good to be here again. The other thing, some of the comments published on the last post have finished the story for me so i dont think its wise to start writting to the end. Once again, thank you. Even though a fight broke out at the resturant, all the same the story ended exactly the way you guys thought.

So right i dont have anything gist, but just that i attended one bridal shower over the weekend. Ermmmm..one of my colleague is getting married next month, so they threw a bridal shower for her. Can you just imagine that its winter already here, and the dress code was either mini skirts or hot pants? God! These girls wanted to kills us ooo! Anyway Jaybabe was there and it was fun. Really fun. The girl who's holding that Turperware salad bowl is the one getting married. Showers are the same in any circumstance. You bring a present, they write you name down, and what you've bought. So that next time when you have your own function, they'll buy for you what you deserve. Fun right?

And then, ever since the new president was sworn in, he came up with laws that are really gonna suffocate some of us. Right now the prices for alcohol are gonna skyrocket. And i heard he's gonna tell the brewery companies to reduce the alcohol content, then increase the prices. Jesus Christ! Again he's changed all the times for bars and clubs' operation. Bars close at 10pm. Night clubs close b4 midnight. If there's a festival, everybody should be home b4 2am. Liquor stores dont open on sundays and during the week they open at 6pm and close at 10pm. Ha! My God! The Botswana Music Union is now taking the gorvenment to court, well...so i heard. I think the rate at which this guy is going, he's gonna step down b4 he knows it! The party animal in me is gone now. After the bridal shower thing, the DJ was there to rock the night away. Just as he was about to start, the police came in. By 11pm i was soundly asleep at Doc's House. Well, when we got home, Doc started teaching me her karate tectics. We were bored. There was nothing we could do. Her husband was sleeping so we couldn't even play some music!

See this hair style? Its called cock-screwed carrot. I donno who came up with that name. Well..i thought it looked great on some people so i decided to try it out sef. Not bad is it?

Ehen! Now, i'm gonna take my time making the rounds in Blogville. Mehn! I must be left behind. But seriously, i'm gonna make sure i pass through everybody's page. I think with the list i have now its gonna take me about 2 weeks to complete the round. Guys take care. Thursday and Friday are holidays so i'll be gone home. I miss my 3 in a row. Ermmm..one other thing...Pamela sent me her pictures. I'm all smiles today...**grinning**

When The Heart Says No

2008-04-15T04:18:00.000-07:00

...(cell phone rings)

''Hey babe?''

''Hi. You busy?''

''Not that much. Why?''

''I wanted us to meet. I wanna talk to you.''

''About?''

''Meet me at Mophane restuarant in 30 minutes.''

''Ooooh babe can't it wait for later?''

''No Becky, it can't wait. Mophane rest. 30 minutes''

...

Oh God! What is it again? We've been talking about this many a times without number. I don't wanna talk anymore. Jason is just being so unreasonable! Why cant he control his temper? Why cant he be patient like i am? Why does he wanna rush things? I mean, it's been 4 years! 4 solid years, and we are still fighting over one thing. One thing only! God!-

''B, you're okay?''

''Hey Su, i'm fine. Its just that-''

''Its Jason again right?''

**sigh**

''Rebbecah, why don't you just go ahead and do as he says? You don't wanna lose him to another girl do yah?''

''Susan!''

''Ah-ah! Abeg, i know my name. How long has it been? 3, 4 years? And you sitting there tryina play some good girl?.**long hiss** What hasn't he done for you? Huh? What? Your wish has been his command all this time. Anytime. Anything you wanted was just a phone call away. And Becky he's been taking all this bull from you for how long now? Eeh? For how long is this your bloody heart gonna say no? Just for how long? Girlfriend, look, just give Jason what he wants and get it over and done with. Its for your own good ooo! For your own!''

''Suzzy, i know okay? I know. But we've talked about this with Jason over and over again! I can't deal with it anymore, you know? There's even come a point where i can't think of what to say any longer? Why can't Jason try and reason with me just for once Suzzy? Once. Why? Is that too much to ask? Yes he's done all i ever wanted for me, he's given me all the love in the world, and for that i'm thankful. But was it a gatepass to have me jump to any and every call he makes? Su, just look at it from a serious-minded woman's point of view okay? Or maybe take your very own experiences for example. What happened after you went to Pet's house? Why didnt he wanna see you after that? Boiki stopped taking your calls. Sam gave told you about his daughter after you guys slept together. Why the fuck are you not dating right now? Susan i been there done that, please, and i aint going thru that route ever again. If Jason can't wait then let him go catch another fish. There are so many of them swimming around you know?. Coz i'm willing to wait, and thats exactly what i'm gonna do.''

''If you say so girlfriend. But just know that when the world comes crashing down on you, i'll be right here to dry all those tears from your eyes..''

Question It!

2008-04-10T03:39:00.001-07:00

It had gotten me thinkin..

What is the one single thing you'll like to change about your partner? Or what is it that you want him/her to change about themselves? Something that you know, that if its changed, your relationship will stand the test of time?

I need your answers guys.

Blessed weekend!

Ciaaaooo!

5 Simple Rules To Be Happy

2008-04-04T05:48:00.000-07:00

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Disappointments are like road humps, they slow u down a bit but u enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the humps too long. Move on!!!

When u feel down because u didn't get what u want, just sit tight and b happy, because God is thinking of something better.

When something happens to u, good or bad, consider what it means. There's a purpose to life's events, to teach u how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

You can't make someone love u, all u can do is to be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

The measure of love is when u love without measure. In life there are very rare chances the you'll meet the person u love and loves u in return. So once u have it don't even let go, the chance might never come your way again.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one u love because of pride. We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding faults with those who we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

When u truly care for someone, u don’t look for faults, u don't look for answers, and you don't look for mistakes. Instead, u fight the mistakes, u accept the faults, and you over look the excuses.

Never abandon an old friend. You'll never find one who can take his place. Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.

This is meant for my friend Lebo. Forget about her going out with my ex, after all we did to her and for her. Forget about her looking up to me as her sister, and looking up to Rogy as her brother, and yet going out all the way to screw him! Forget about all that. The poor girl has lost weight, she can't think straight. She's even finding it hard to live on the same neighbourhood with him. Guys, she's finding it hard to let go of Rogy(who has brought in another live in girlfriend). She's finding it hard to move on. I'm trying on my side to make her see that there's still life after that guy. Look where i am since i parted with him. She cud do the same. I told her all she needs is time. Time heals all wounds. And in folowing those 5 rules above,she'll make it thru.

P.S Can somebody please tell Nkemugo that i wud like to visit his blog. I can't log into his page. Blessed weekend guys. Love y'all.

A Birthday Letter To Afrobabe

2008-04-01T04:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Afro:

I know how this day should be important to you, but its also important to us the bloggers too. Because it was on this day, that some twenty-something years ago your mum gave birth to you. It might be April fool's day, but for sure you aint a fool. You are the best blogger Blogville has ever had. It even shows in your blog, the stories you write, the pictures you upload, you've grown so much, and i know you still growing. I wanna take this moment to wish you a happy day today. Grow up to be the best you can be. I wish you all the luck in finding a husband for your own self. Please be quick on that because i gues its also your mum's wish to have you married with children b4 she leaves this earth. I promise you, you'll be like me one day, maybe a step forward. Married with children. I've sent you that bouquet of flowers. I hope you'll love them. I went around town searching for those, and it took me a while before i cud find something you'll love. One other thing, thank you for spoiling my easter holidays, and the 5 days i took thereafter to rest, coz i cudn't stop thinking about you and your big day. I hope you enjoyed it though.

Happy Birthday girlfriend.

Love, Jaybabe.

Forgive And Forget

2008-03-17T05:56:00.000-07:00

As children of God, everyday we wrong him in everyway possible, but everyday He does forgive us. Who are we not to forgive people who wrong us? I once suggested this topic on national radio, and it won a lot of votes for it to be discussed. And believe you me it was a heated argument. I was like at which point do somebody REALLY say they’ve forgiven someone else? Totally forgiven them? And what does it take for somebody to say they’ve forgiven another person?

The truth is you can say that you’ve forgiven someone. But sometimes when you sit and look deep into your heart, you’ll still feel that urge to revenge on the person who wronged you. Do you guys still remember Lebo? The girl I once wrote about. That my ex and I used to be their housemate? Okay, here is how it was. I was still co-habiting with the guy I got engaged to in 2004. When he started work, he was allocated a house at one of the flats in Gabz. Because he wasn’t married, he was gonna share that house with one of his co-workers. That co-worker of his was a lady who had a teenage daughter, Lebo. My ex and I took this little girl as our lil sister you know? Sometimes we’ll help her out with her school work. Sometimes I’ll permit my ex to take her out to the afternoon movies if I had something to do, maybe at work or something. Sometimes I’ll go shopping with her. Buy her anything she wanted. We even have a blue boobtube top that look exactly the same, because I bought it for myself, and when she saw it, she said she wanted it too. So I got him to buy it for her. She was really like a sister. Especially that she is the only child and I’m the only child too, so you know, the feeling, like they say, was mutual. She is 7 years my junior.

When we moved to our own flat, Lebo and I didn’t lose any touch. She used to come to our house. Stay there. Help me bathe the kids. Sleep over. Stay with the kids while my ex and I went out. You know?, she helped out in everything. She was there all the time. She was even there when i and him started having problems. I still remember the sms’s we exchanged during that time.

To cut the long story short, when I moved out of my ex’s house Lebo moved right in! Ha! Sometimes you just can’t believe some other things would you? No matter how much you try. Of course I had problems with that. I started asking myself, when did their relationship really start? Were they still going out when we were still sharing the house? Did I give them space to be together, all those times I permitted him to take her out? Sometimes I went home to my mum alone, and he stayed behind. Did I give them enough chance to do whatever they were doing? Did I push him to her? Was Lebo taking advantage of my being nice to her? I mean, my ex and I used to talk to her mum. To let her be, because he mother was always after her! Like she had to come home early. She didn’t have any friends. She wasn’t allowed to leave the house even on weekends, unless my ex or I went out with her. She was supposed to answer her cell phone right here, in the sitting room, no snicking out! And when I came to know that my ex and Lebo were going out, and that HER mother was in support of the relationship, I was like, all that time, was she preparing Lebo for the guy? God!!!

Okay. I came to leave with it. I accepted it. I was like okay fine, I’ve lost him to her. No problem. We talking 2005. And since then I haven’t really gotten to know how they are doing and all. Really I let things go, decided to move on with my life. But just as I thought my life with them was over, it has started again.

I’m pictured here with Lebo. Faith is that one in a red sweater. We were at Doc’ kitchen top-up party the weekend before. Yes she came. I guess with my cousin Faith. We hugged. And later she asked to see me in private…guys…that was really like a nightmare…!

And then on Monday when we were at the office and people were by my computer, looking at the party pictures, they wanted to know what Lebo was doing at the party because she had wronged me? My people, I don’t take it that Lebo wronged me, like I told her when she wanted to apologize that night, ‘’You didn’t wrong me in anyway. I just take it that Rogy wanted to get back at me, and you only happened to get caught in the act. It wasn’t your fault. Really. To me, you are still my kid sister.’’ Yeah you guessed right. She cried. Especially now that her and the guy are not together anymore.

When she asked to see me in private that party night, she told me everything that happened between her and him. Everything. I donno why, people say that I’m a good listener. Lebo told me that some of the things she told me that night, she never told anyone. Not even her very own mother. She wanted to know how I got over the guy. She wanted to know how she could get over him. She wanted me to help her out. Help her heal. I didn’t tell her much. Just a few words. ‘’You might think that you’ve wronged me, but like I said, I don’t take it that way. I have forgiven you and forgotten everything that happened. So do likewise: Forgive and Forget.’’

So guys, I wont update until the 1st of April. I’m expecting something to happen from the 20th till the 28th March. Up till then, take good care of yourselves, and have a blessed Easter Holy’s. When we come back, and if you all are luck, I’ll tell you all about it. If you ain’t lucky, then just forgive and forget!

Ciaaooo!

A Reason To Believe

2008-03-11T00:41:00.000-07:00

The main thing i wanna know from you guys is- What's the real reason why people get married?

A friend of mine, Dan, said he got into marriage bcoz his girlfriend came to him and said, ''I'm pregnant!''. And then he was like, ''Okay fine, lets get married''. And that was that.

I saw him over the weekend and he said the marriage is on the rocks and they are in the process of getting a divorce. Dan will be 28 this year and he got married at 25. His baby boy is 3 years now. Such a lovely thing.

When we got talking, he told me how he got into that marriage thing for all the wrong reasons. He said he realised later, that the two of them, had personalities that differed a great deal.

Is it because of these different personalities that drives people getting divorced at the end? Why get married at first when there are certain things that makes the two of you different? I want to know the real reason why people marry. And why does everything else change after getting married? Its like when eveything changes after a baby is born into a relationship.

When the two of you are still dating, and no talking about marriage, no talking about having a baby, everything runs so smooth. But the minute you get married, or the woman falls pregnant, everything changes. The relationship changes. Why?

When i got engaged to my ex, in 2004, i wasn't ready for marriage. He bought that ring bcoz we fought- well not physically fighting, but argued a lot that morning, and i threatened to leave, and then, later he slipped that band on my finger, but i wasn't smiling, i wasn't surprised, i didn't cry, i wasn't happy, i didn't like it at all. Just that i felt sorry for him, coz he was trying by all means to make things right.
That engagement didn't even go as far as walking down the aisle, bcoz it was all for the wrong reasons. I think i wrote a story on that sometime ago. How it all ended and all.

Even up till now i'm still asking myself that, if at all i had gotten married that time, what wud have been my reason today for the marriage? As i didnt have a solid reason to get engaged that time.**sends out a lil laugh**..you know i even remember we went home to tell my mum, and i remember we were seated together outside the house and my mum was asking both of us if we knew exactly what we were getting ourselves into...

...anyway, whats your take on this?

And like i said, Doc's kitchen top-up was a blast! Right now she doesnt have space in her kitchen. Some of the presents are inside the guest rooms. I'm just so lazy to upload pictures. Sorry guys.

A Family Affair

2008-03-06T22:44:00.001-08:00

Guys, thanx to all of you who commented on my last post. Was really busy the whole week couldn't reply there and there. But thanx all the same.

Another one of those weekends in already here, and part of this whole week has been spent preparing for my cousin, Dorcas' kitchen top-up party which will be held at her house tomorow. I know Afrobabe has been dying to see some of my dirty pictures at any function. So Afro, and all of you guys, i promise a lot of those kinda pictures when we come back from the weekend. This time i'll be keeping my cool coz it won't be my thing.

I was gonna up load an invitation card a dear friend of mine designed for the occasion, beautiful thing, but i remembered that it has my numbers on it. I dont trust people like Pamela, who won't leave me in peace, by calling even in the wee hours of the mornings. Yes, thats what she said, the other time, when i complained about people giving me a head ache by calling. She said if she knew my number she was gonna be one of them. So..yeah..

Guys..be careful over the weekend hey? And enjoy this read as you head for the weekend. This really left me lost for words! Can something like this happen? I mean in real life?:

A young lady matriculant is going to matric dance with his biological brother because she didn't have a date. On their way back home after the matric dance her brother says to her:
''If I wasn't your brother I'd pull over and park 500m from the road''.

''Pretend you are not my brother and pull over''. she replied!

He pulled over and said "If I wasn't your brother I'd kiss you until you sweat''.

''Pretend you are not my brother and kiss me until I sweat''. she replied!

He kissed her and said" If I wasn't your brother I'd fu...ck you like hell''.

She said: pretend you are not my brother and f...ck me like hell''.

They made love, enjoying every moment of it and after they finished she said to her brother: ''Your D*ick is as big as Dad's.''

And he replied: ''That's what Mom always tells me!''

Standing Outside The Fire

2008-03-02T23:18:00.000-08:00

We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned

We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always comes with getting burned

But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
We call them strong

Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
They're so hell-bent on giving, walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire
Standing outside the fire

Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire
There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide

If you're standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

Words Of Wisdom

2008-02-28T02:59:00.000-08:00

hello errryburry, i got this from a friend and thought you could also learn from it.

stop telling people how they should live their lives by asking them personal questions like when are you buying a car , buying a house, when are you getting married, when are you having a child etc.

stop asking people questions they don't have answers for, it exposes your level of maturity and intelligence e.g. why do you have skin rashes, have gained or lost weight etc.

if something is not your business stay out of it unless you are asked for advise.

it is normal to gossip but please don't make it a habit, rather turn your gossiping skills into something positive.

nobody is perfect; we all have our weaknesses, so stop complaining or criticising other people, because they also feel the same about you. it is just that they are emotionally matured and accept you the way you are.

compliment a person if she looks nice instead of asking what is the occasion

try to associate with positive people and avoid negative people who always try to bring you down

if a person tells you something confidential or personal stop discussing it with other people, it exposes your level of maturity

learn to think before you talk

with luv
jaybabe.

Classic Stuff

2008-02-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

I hope everybody's fine. Even though i hadn't replied to all the comments left on the post below, i would really like to thank everyone who left something there. I really appreciate your concerns on issues regarding women. But i'm glad i did pass through everyone's blog. Just to let you know that it's this other time of the month. I mean it's month end and i get really busy at work, but i will try and reply next time. And i wanted to wish you all the best laugh-able weekend ever. Take care.

1.WAY TO GO OLD MAN
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

2.Dr Phil (this one na classic abeg)
Four women came to Dr Phil for advice. After carefully analysing their problems he gave them their replies:
''I have realised that all of you women have got one similar problem. You are all obsessed.''
To the first woman: ''You are obsessed with alcohol, that is why you've even called your daughter Brandy''.
To the second woman: ''You are obsessed with money, that is why you've even called your daughter Penny''
To the third woman: ''You are obsessed with the fastest cars, that's why you have called your son Speedy-''

Before he could turn to face the fourth woman, she abruptly stood up, grabbed her son by the arm, and said, ''come on Dick, let's go!''

Fair Enough- Oprah Said It Better

2008-02-17T23:14:00.000-08:00

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

I always tell people that, nna, from what i've learnt so far, and from what i've seen and experienced so far, no man will ever bring me down. I'm not gonna allow a man to rule my life. At some point i had thought it was supposed to be like that. Take verything from your man. Do as he says. Do what he wants. Put your feelings aside. Make him happy. Satisfy him in any way possible. It was always about him, him and him. But then, there came a time when i was like, ''what could be wrong in being me for once? Just for once?''

I'm a regular reader of O'Mag. And this is what Oprah has to say about men:

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes
you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behaviour.* Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.

I just thought it wise to share this with all of you guys. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of us women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful. You should know that you're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts....

NB: Popstar Update:
I've decided to switch off my phones for the next whole week bcoz those mo..fu's have decided to show the auditions proceedings on national t.v Now i'm in trouble. Since yesterday my phones never stop ringing. Smses going thru. People telling me good luck. I tried to explain that i didnt make it to the top 20, but seems like those my words are falling into deaf ears! Dammmnit! I can't even get into a taxi without people murmuring, ''thats one of them!'' Ooohh shit!! This is more than a nightmare...!

It's A Lie And A Laugh

2008-02-12T23:05:00.000-08:00

Don't Lie To Kids: What an experience!
There was this guy sunbathing in the nude at the beach. Well, this little girl comes up to him, so he covers his private parts with a newspaper.
The little girl says, "What's under there?"
So the man answers, "A bird."
The girl goes away and the man falls asleep. When he wakes up; he is in a hospital and in great pain.
A doctor comes up to his bed and asks, "What happened?"
The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach and I fell asleep after talking to a little girl."
So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses.
When they get there, they see the little girl the man was talking about.
So they ask her if she did anything to the man.
She answers, "I didn't do anything to the man, but while he was sleeping, I played with his bird. After a while, it spit at me, so I broke its neck, burned its nest, and smashed all its eggs.

Never Lie To Your Boss: Else You Are As Good As Dead!
boss said to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?
employee: "Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied.
boss : "Well…, there is proof now.
After you left early yesterday to go to your only uncle's funeral, He came here looking for you!"

Never Lie To Yourself: Vincent walks into a bar in Pretoria, orders three pints of Black Label and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders threemore. The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." Vinn replies, "Well, you see, I have two friends. One is in Polokwane, the other in Lebowakgomo, and I'm here in Pretoria . When I left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. Vinn becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."
Vinny looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawn in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. It's me.....I've quit drinking!"

Guys...i'll see you after the weekend, have a good one. And Please be careful of what you do and how you do it! Ciaaooo!!

Pictures I Promised

2008-02-10T05:02:00.000-08:00

Guys hi! Hope everybody's well oo! Here are the pictures of that party Doc thru for me weekend of the 2nd. Like i said it was a blast! Came the office on saturday, to upload them as not so many people were online. We have a problem of congestion with our server, so pardon me. The pictures are so many. But i gues as its Jaybabe(lol), you guys will take your time to go thru all of them.

Ever since Lady left, Bruno is just so lonely. But it shall be fine..

Faith and I, before people came in, and i hadn't freshened up.

Some of my colleagues here. With Jabu in the company of women. Thats the way he is. Always with women!

Let the party begin! Mr D.J gimme some volume!!

This girl! Why was she concentrating on my butt? Dammmnn!

It got hotter, and hotter and hotter...!

Go on..strike that Goddamn pose girl!!

I only took a piture with this guy coz he said he's Nigerian, and this picture is for all of you Naija bloggers out there. I'm still wondering why i swallowed a huge lump when he said his name was Edward!

A bonus picture for you guys again. And more crazy picture HERE

I must say Dorcas really did a huge thing for me, and i felt really loved after that gig. Sometimes last year b4 xmas, we had a misunderstanding with Doc and we hadnt been talking for a while. All of a sudden she throws this big thing for me. Was she tryina make up, or was it really an 'eviction' party for me? LOL.. Mmmh! Well..she'll be throwing a kitchen top-up sometime in March, which is gonna be in conjunction with her 34th birthday. Looking forward to all the craziness of it all. Blessed week ahead guys. I love all.

Life vs Fear

2008-02-07T02:51:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow will soon be yesterday,and yesterday was once tomorrow.But what about today?Is it important?
Do we constantly obsess over everything but the present?If the memories are what hurt then why do we hold on to them?

If the present is the most enjoyable then why does it go by so quickly?
Why do the best things in life seem unreachable?And why do the worst things seem to fall into your lap? But most importantly,why do we think these things?

Seeing is believing for most people,and if they see it happen to them,they will believe it for the rest of their lives and think nothing different of it. But why can't we just believe that things just happen,no matter what the immediate reaction is? In the end,no matter how good or bad,it always turns out for the best:

We learn. We learn about life.We learn lessons.We learn reasons.
We learn answers.And most importantly,we learn feelings.Our feelings.After all,what are we without feelings? One feeling everyone feels is fear.It is the least discussed emotion between humans.

Why? People fear it. Ironic? Yes.But why do we fear fear?
Most people fear that they will be teased or mistreated because what they feel could be different than another's.But is teasing and mistreating what they really fear?Could it be that they fear they could actually make an impact on someone's life?
Or maybe even because they know they can rub off on that person and they would no longer be an individual?.

An example of this could be a phobia.Let's say someone is scared of heights and they won't tell anyone. It could possibly be because they fear if they tell another person,they could rub off on them,or even find out that the other person feels the same way. But they could face their fears together,and learn:They can learn about their friendship.

As quoted from Alanis Morrisette,"...you live,you learn,you love,you learn,you try,you learn,you lose,you learn.....".
That song "You Learn" always had an impact on me.I made so much sense that one could not ignore it.

Tomorrow will soon be yesterday,and yesterday was once tomorrow. What makes us think about this is past experiences and up coming experiences. Why? The fact of the matter is......we fear it.I think it is time that mankind got over their fear of the present and actually learn something.

Don't you????

T'was Written In The Stars...

2008-02-04T06:12:00.000-08:00

Hey guys. Hope you all had a gr8 weekend? Mine was hectic. Okay first things first. I gues it was difficult for the judges to come up with the top 20. We were up at The Big 5 Lodge from 8am till 7pm. See this girl i'm pictured here with? Thats Rose. I had a tie with her, and then we had to battle it out, just the two of us, up till she made it thru. Guys, that was some competition ooo! Those people's voices? Ah-ah! I couldn't match oo!
Okay fine. I know you guys are disappointed in me, and i was disappointed too. Especially that i had come that far, had to go in, sing my lungs out, make it to the next round, and just as i was facing the top 20 category, i flopped.
I must admit Rose is a better singer than me. So i really think she deserved to go in. By the time it was just the two of us, i was really tired. Finished. But hey..i don't really have any hard feelings for the judges, coz..like somebody once said..'when one door closes, another one opens. So..you watch this column...! I won't tell you about it now..**smiling**

From The Big 5 Lodge, i headed straight to Dorcas' house coz she had organised a lil something for me with her friends. This girl is crazy oo! That lil something turned out to be a huge party which went on until the wee hours of the morning. She still owes me an explaination for that! I'll come back to upload the pictures oo! You know how party-animally i am, so look forward to some crazy pictures here.

Like i said, it was a crazy weekend.The party ended around 3:30am and by 5am i was still up, tryina solve some issues between Faith and her boyfriend, who wanted to send her to the gallows then. Kai! Children of today? Why do they think its easy to get in and outside a relationship if you so wish? Anyway..they booked into some lodge and then sunday morning they came to my house. Now Faith was not talking to the boyfriend, and the boyfriend was crying, and then i was asked to intervine. Good Lord!...

Another Woman's Man = A Dangerous Zone

2008-01-28T01:37:00.001-08:00

Can somebody please tell this woman that, that's just a mushroom!

When it comes to issues of cheating, the first thing that comes to ones mind is how their partner performs in bed with the person they are cheating them with. 'Is she/he better than me?'. Why can't we think of something else apart from SEX? Can't somebody cheat by just meerly hanging out with the other person, without them sleeping together? Easier said than done huh?!

Now women have come up with dangerous means of protecting what is theirs. I donno if men do it too. Well..i've heard of only a one in million case where a man goes out to an extent of 'going a step further'.

Three Nigerian men came to Botswana sometime last year on a business trip. I've read the story on newspapers now, coz it was all over the country. So these guys booked in one hotel next to the University, Gaborone Sun most probably. They got involved with some girls from the university and a few days after the guys left..heee! Those girls started having worms coming outta their private parts! God! Those girls suffered oooo! Kai! Well..i haven't been to school to see them, but rumours had it that, you wouldn't stay one single minute in their room! The smell that came outta there was umbearable. We got most of the stories and the pictures of the girls in The Voice Newspaper. It reported that the girls made endless visits to hospitals to no avail. It published the pictures of the girls with their legs apart like that. Bcoz they said if they placed their legs together, it hurt real bad. My God! Just imagine, some funny small worms coming outta there! Well...i donno where the girls are right now, but i heard the last time they were seen in this country was when they were boarding a plane to Nigeria. Only the wives to those men, were the only people who could cure them! See? Another woman's man is a dangerous dial to touch!

It doesn't only happen in Nigeria. In fact i think it happens everywhere in Africa. I donno about the western world, but in every country in Africa, its common.

When my mum was still working and i was still at high school, she used to have a friend. They were not very close, but they came together when they wanted to have a woman to woman talk, you know? So it happened that this woman, my mum's friend, was dating a married guy. She was a conductor in the said guy's bus, while he was the driver. I gues thats how they met. And then, they started shagging. Ha! The wife found out ooo! And then when she wanted some answers, she didnt get any. And then she kept quiet.It so happened that my mum's friend started having her periods 24/7/365. There was not a day that passed by without her having her flows. She confided in my mum, thats how i got to know,coz my mum and i are friends. I asked my mum what she said to her. She was like, ''i had long told that woman to leave another man's husband alone, but she wouldn't listen. Now, let her get herself outta that mess''. See? It happens everywhere.

There are so many cases concerning consequences of dating another woman's husband. Just that people dont come forward about them. A similar case i once heard was where a woman who was 'knocking' another one, got into her periods everytime she's supposed to go meet with the guy. Everytime. Ha! How these things happen i donno ooo! So abeg, girls, watch out. If he belongs to another one, don't even think twice!
Coz you'll be pressing a wrong button!

Well..it's as a result of all the shagging and the over protection of the 'mushroom' that we end up celebrating baby showers every weekend. Like i said, as long as they wont stop making babies, i wont stop having a good time while waiting for another new mouth! This one happened over the weekend and like always, it was a blast!

I haven't done a tour of Blogville in a long time. So guys, have a productive week!

Tiane's Night Out

2008-01-20T05:32:00.000-08:00

When Tia first told me about the baby she was carrying, and i calculated, i didn't think the days and months would pass by so quickly such that in no time we would be celebrating her baby shower. I remember it was some time in June last year, and by then she told me she was two months on, that meant the baby is due this month. So my people, dont blame me ooo! I think i got carried away with that Popstar thing i even forgot my friend is goinno have a baby! What kinda friend is this one? Mxem!

Anyway, thats why i rushed things last week so that we hold the babyshower this past weekend. Tia went to her doctor and they did a scan. She was told its goinno be a boy! And that the EDD(estimated Date of Delivery) is in two weeks.
And everything with the shower went well ooo! My friend can't even wait to go to the 'bakery'...lol..if only she knew? Knew what? Nonsense! Is it not for just 10 minutes? And she'll be holding her baby in her arms?

As usual, Jaybabe took her cam with her. Here are some pictures.

When she's not heavy like this, she's such a beautiful girl. Wait till the baby comes out. You'll see what i mean when i talk about beauty.

Snacks being passed around.

Thats the M.C now! And she even allowed us to use her house as the venue. Everything's fine. The past is in the past. Even though what she did to me is unforgetable, she's still my friend. That will never change.

Anybody ever tasted Nestum? Yeah food for 3 year olds down? Tastes nice, like ermmmm..i donno..but very nice. Everybody made sure they made a mistake so that they could have a spoon full of nestum. Some came very late. Others didn't include gate passes(any product from Johnsons) with their presents. See? So if you did something wrong you got punished by eating nestum. Or like if Tia didnt gues right what the present could be,and who it came from, she'll also get a spoon full of that. It was fun. Really.

Oooh! My...! Did i mention my girl has her own set of wheels? Okay, you all know now. So included in the presents was a baby car-seat. From the organisers of the shower. You know who's included in here right?

You guys all know that my girl is a first time mother right? So here, they were showing her how to bath the baby. Every single step of bathing a new born baby. And this foolish girl was laughing! Can you imagine? If she thinks i'm goinno do everything for her, she should forget it ooo! Ha! Where was she when i did all mine? Abeg...lol..of course i'll help her out.

I never really intended to show Tia's face here you know?But...well..okay..thats my girl there now!

Ehen! Shall we eat now? On the menu there was papa, chakalaka and some grilled braai woers and beef. T'was very nice. I mean the food.

See this girl here? She doesn't drink anything with alcohol ooo! She didn't even get tempted when seeing all the drinks. Yebo!!! Another one of my resolutions will be fulfilled. Abeg..i didn't make a vow with any of you guys..but i did that with God. I vowed that i wont drink again. AND I WON'T!!! Don't mind what's in that bag. Just my lip-gloss, two spare batteries for the camera, in case the other two went down, money for cab afterwards, what else?...ermmmm..yah, and Nivea lotion for my hands. Thats all there was in that bag actually.

More pictures HERE. Enjoy the whole week ahead.

The Night Before

2008-01-17T04:02:00.000-08:00

It wasn't like any other moment
Yes the clocked ticked
And a little girl laughed outside
But it wasn't the same
Same as every other day i lived
Because the night before
I thought i saw you
Walk in through that open door

The t.v was on, but i saw only you
The radio was on, but i heard only you
When the rainy air blew into the house
It was the scent of you i inhaled
This is true, this is not a foe
Because the night before
I thought i saw you
Walk in through that open door

The time
Wasn't like any other
Even during that night
And I saw the moonlight
It glowed on me with a smile
Said to me, 'very soon
You are goinno stop walking that mile'
It was the night before
That i thought i saw you
Walk in right through that open door...

Popstar Botswana 2

2008-01-13T05:41:00.000-08:00

Saturday night was one night i'll never forget. See that smile? I went to bed smiling like that. And i was smiling still in my sleep.

Popstar Botswana is back again, this time around i gues its coming with a bang! Why? Coz Jaybabe at least took part in the first auditions. Popstar Botswana is a programme that started running for the first time last year. This is where by young batswana who think they got a talent to sing, come forward and get auditioned, to compete and ultimately come up with a winner who'll then have a priviledge of recording his/her own muzic albumn. The programme is run in conjunction with EMI music Production in the U.K. So..yeah, my people, Jaybabe is in. And there's just no turning back! Remember one of my New Year Resolutions? That i wanna try and realise one of my dreams this year? Eehwoo! I'm on the road now! And pliz include me in your prayers. I asked you to pray for me, and now i've managed to make it to the next round. So abeg, help me realise one of my dreams, and pray for me.

The first round of auditions took place on Saturday the 12th at the Big 5 Lodge, where a lotta hopefulls came in to try their luck. I must admit it was really scarry, i was nervous(very) espcially that there were cameras all over.

You know me and my camera now! I still managed to have some pictures taken: More pictures of the event HERE

This is the presenter of Popstar, Mosa and the camera crew. They were going from one person to another, interviewing us and all. Mosa was the secong runner up for Miss Botswana 2006. Such a beautiful girl.

The Pool side of the Big 5 lodge. This is where we were hanging out, listening to our hearts thumping, b4 your name cud be called. People, this was a nerve wrecking experience i ever had to go thru.

Meet our judges. The first guy, in black t-shirt is DJ Sid. This guy is bad news ooo! Very bad news. He can just demoralise you and you'll end up walking outta this room, swearing at him for all he cared. You shud consider yourself really doing good if he gave you a yes!
The lady in the middle is Ruth Moore, the proud owner of the Big 5 Lodge. She sweet. But i donno why she gave me a no!
And then the guy in a purple shirt is Master Dee. He's an artist, and a citizen of the U.K. Stays there with his family, and runs music production company.

''A lot of people have been coming in here and doing nonsense. And i been giving them a yes. So i'm gonna give you a yes for the nonsense you just did there!'' DJ Sid said to me. ''Hey, to hell with you Sid! If i was doing nonsense why are you giving me a yes?'' i said to myself, smiling still..

Anyway guys, please i beg of you, pray for me. This is it!..i remember Miss Opeke and Pink-Satin once ran Blogville Idols and i wasn't able to take part coz...i wasn't Nigerian! Yes! If they wanted everybody to be in, why say each participant shud know at least one Nigerian song? Am i Nigerian sef? Next time somebody comes up with something like that, pliz include all bloggers ooo! coz its not only Nigerians who blog is it?
Now, i have two weeks of more practise to do, coz the d-day is on the 2nd of February. Thats when i'll know whether i'll be running for the crown or not. Once again, i plead for your prayers.

Have a blessed week ahead...ehen! Tia's baby-shower is coming this weekend. Stay tuned for the gist...and of course some more pictures.

Pamela Thinks I'm Weird...

2008-01-09T03:31:00.000-08:00

...i gues thats why she tagged me on that one. But really i don't think i am. Thats why again, i took this long to write up something on this topic. I got tagged last year November and i took this long bcoz i was tryina search for anything with me that cud be(.....)you know? But not weird. This is what i came up with.

I don't always wear what i prepared to wear the previous night. Like i'll iron some clothes to wear in the morning. But i'll always end up wearing something else. Its not being weird is it?

I start work at 7:30am on weekdays, that is monday to friday. But everyday i wake up at either 4:30am or sometimes 5am. I donno...after bathing, i'll sit on the couch, with no clothes on, and then my mind will wonder off. I start thinking about my dreams, my goals, my future. I start fantacising about life. Abeg, this happens all the time. I start seeing my self living in some foreign country, just me and the kids(and of course..him). By the time i jump back to reality, it's 7 o'clock!! Heee! people you shud see how i start moving up and down the house, not knowing what to do, where to start! Do i need a housemate?

Somebody nearly broke my ribs on this one. Was it Pamela or Afrobabe or Anonymous girl, who said the first thing they watch out for on a man is the front of his pants! Check if its bulging. If there's a bulge there, she'll know that, 'yaahh, i've hit the jackpot!''..lol..well the first thing i look at on a man, the first time we meet, is his hands, especially the nails! Am i weird? Abeg, those hands do a lot of things ooo! not to talk about the fingers and its nails!

The twitching by my hip when i walk. I donno why that happens. It becomes (weird) if i'll happen to be walking with someone and they ask me, ''hey, whats that sound?'' You know like the twitching sound comes with every step i take.

I can't seem to change my mind about something easily. Once my mind is made up, there's no turning back. Like i always remember the other time, the kids were still young, like 6,4 and 3 years. And that time they were staying with my mum back home. I had made up my mind that i was gonna get them bicycles that month. That whole month, i remember their...well...'father' and i had to go without food bcoz i used all the money to buy those bicycles. No matter how much he tried to make me see reason. Thats the way i am. Still, not weird right?

I sleep with a bible under my pillow. It has to be there EVERYTIME!. Well before that, i used to get nightmares, but ever since i started sleeping with it under there, i don't get those. Even if i did, in that dreadful sleep, i call God's name, or remember that the bible is under my pillow, the nightmares go away. Very weird. I wanda how that happens.

Washing an underwear, takes most of my time sometimes. Especially in the mornings. So when i sleep at night, after bathing, i dont put one on, coz i know in the morning i'll have to wash it again. So the best thing is to sleep with no undy so that in the morning i don't have to worry about that. When i tell people, like i talk about it in the office, they tell me that its not safe, that what if somebody breaks into my house and attempts to rape me, i mean he won't even have to struggle with any undy. But i lock my house now!, and the windows have got burglar bars, so i think i'm safe.
Well...whats the use in sleeping with my undy on, coz if it happened that i slept with my boyfriend or husband, he's gonna take it off! This is life made easy for him ooo!

I don't think i'm weird...do you?

Would You Run Or Finish?

2008-01-06T22:58:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, the year has already started now, i gues it's time we gisted. Sometimes i wonder if really standing for whats right for you might be wrong to another person. Would you choose to accept what you don't want, just to satisfy another person? Is it a crime to act for what you rightfully deserve than not, just because you might hurt another person in the process? This happened sometime last year, i gues it was 3 days b4 xmas day. You know how i love Wimpy's Double burger now? So i was craving for one on that particular day then decided to go for it. I'm placing my order at the reception table.

''Can i have Wimpy Double burger please- Take away.''
''Anything else?''
''Yah, and 1 mega coffee, put 7 satchets of sugar please''
''Okay, you can wait by that chair while we prepare your order, its gonna take 8 minutes. Thank you''
''Thank you''

I'm sitting by the chair, waiting. Recharging my phones.

''Excuse me'' its the lady who was taking my orders.
I turn to look at her, ''me?''
''Yes ma'am. Your bill is ready''
I go to the reception table, ''how much is it?''
''P41.50''
I pay. Go back to still wait for the order. While still waiting, i took the till slip she gave me and went thru it. I see that she's punched in Cheese burger. Oh God! How i hate cheese! I stood up quickly and went to tell her that.

''Sorry, i didn't order any burger with cheese'' showing her the till slip.
''But i asked two times whether you wanted cheese burger and you didnt object''
I'm begining to sweat now. When i get angry, i start sweating, ''Heela mma! I didnt order any cheese burger, did you hear any word like cheese coming from my mouth? For God's sake i dont eat cheese!'' I banged my hand on the counter.
''But i repeated the order twice and you didnt say anything''
''So what do i do? Cos i dont take cheese? And i've seen that you've sold to me the one for P30. I want that one for P27. Thats the one i always buy.''
''But there's nothing i can do''
''There's nothing you can do you said?''
''Yes ma'am''
''Oh? Okay. Where's your manager?''
''He's at the back''
''Call him for me''
The manager comes in. I relate the story to him. Can you believe that i was even shaking?
The manager started punching in on the till and then gave me my P3 change. ''I'm sorry about that ma'am''
''You are welcome'' I was smiling. You know the kinda smile now.

Am back sitting at that chair again, sipping in their sweet coffee. Dammmn people in the restuarant were all looking at me. But while swallowing in the coffee, it dawned on me that i didnt do the right thing you know? Shouting at that gal like that. Well it was my money i was fighting for and practicing my rights as a customer, but it was like i looked down on that gal, it was like i was indirectly telling her that she doesnt know her job! I felt really bad. God help me!

But again, was i supposed to just go with the cheese burger when i don't even take cheese? Was i supposed to go with the P30 burger when i wanted the one for P27? I narrated this to a very close friend of mine, and he suggested that i go back and maybe..you know..kind of like..appologise to the girl! Eerrmm..i'm still thinking about that. Okay. Maybe the next time i go to the same restuarant i'll talk to her. I'm not sure about the apologising part...

It feels good to be back home...in Blogville.

Expand Your Happiness...(Happy New Year)

2008-01-03T22:31:00.001-08:00

Compliments Blogville!!! I hope everybody came back wholely after the crazyness of lighting fireworks. Well..i came back still as the bubbly Jaybabe you all know. Another year has started and that calls for more gists and keeping Blogvillagers up dated on the goings on around everyone. I hope to be bloging as much as i would love but then i have my own resolutions now, abeg, i am supposed to have those right? Well they are not many:
-No alcohol
-Minimum going out
-Getting much closer to God
-Expand my happiness as far as i can
-And by the grace of God, i wanna realise one of my dreams this year. Pray for me guys...Yeah thats all. And for that i would love to share this with all of you:

Expand your happiness by learning from past years mistakes. New Year should be treated like another chance in life to leave all past mistakes behind and start all over again, a time to review the past year and to obtain the essence of the past many months of work. The essence means to learn what was good and what should be changed and HOW things need to be changed if changes are needed.

From year to year all should progress - progress means:
- improve
- more happiness
- more peace in family and neighborhood
- better health
- more fun and joy in life
- more financial stability by reducing expenses to a healthy relationship with the actual income
- Having learned to stay well within your own limits - i.e. stay OUT of OTHER peoples private business unless asked to do so for helping. Focus on YOUR problems an solve them better each year.
- Having improved your professional skills and expertise / knowledge to have a solid basis for life and for your happy future
- Having reduced the number and quality of struggles with others by leaving them more and more in peace and focus on your own many problems to solve.

FIRST there are lessons that repeat year after year. Click HERE for more.

Like the previous New Years messages: Click HERE for more.

New progress is ONLY possible on the basis of accomplished earlier basic lessons. Before even thinking of or attempting new progress - first assure you have done all the basic lessons of life to create peace of mind and emotional stability in life. We must review the past, to obtain all essence and to preview possibilities of the future year. We must work hard to achieve our goal, to improve and re-harvest again until all are happy around us. The happiness we have created as a result of a fruitful and successful year we gave:
- love
- professional help and advice
- shelter and support
- happiness in many ways to all around us

Hence the many happy people we have created in this ending year will be the source of our next years happiness...and so on.
Happiness always bounces back ...but only the happiness WE have created in others bounces back. What we do for money to earn our living and pay for our shelter,that is for our very personal use only and has little to do with love. All we do beyond business and without money,just for fun and for free,to neighbors or friends, foreigners of any nation...that is what really counts toward true happiness in the coming year. In eternal life only the love you gave matters for your heart. How much did we all contribute to a better and more peaceful life in more freedom by more people on this planet?
How many past conflicts did YOU solve in your life these past months?

It still is time with more open hearts than most other seasons of the year. Hence it still is time to reconcile, to embrace and hug, to love,to forgive and enjoy new achieved loving happiness in an expanding global family: Click HERE to read more.

A few sweets or a few flowers do miracles and may help to open a heart otherwise closed for reconciliation - some extra efforts and a true gift of love to make someone smile again...

Happy New Year to you all.

Light A Candle

2007-12-19T22:39:00.000-08:00

I gues you'll agree with me that this has been one hell of a year. It started out so well, rolled on so well and its ending so perfect. When this year started for me, i had a few friends in Blogville. I think i had about 5 people on my 'Blogs I Read' list. But just look at the list now. Everyday i added a new friend. I want to thank you all for this spending this year with me. Being there everyday to know how i was fending. Thank you for sharing all your trials and tribulations with all of us. Thank you very much to some of you who showed me that i wasn't walking this earth alone. This has been a tremendous year for me. See me now! I'm still smiling to its ending.

''It's here again. It's that time of year. We're so far apart. That it's breaking my heart. Just to know you won't be here. But I won't cry. I didn't ask why...''
This is a verse from Smokie's Light A Candle. I want all of you to light a candle for everyone of us...on Christmas Eve..

Solomonsydelle I thank the Lord for leading you to me page. Its been gr8 knowing you. You've been an inspiration to me. Having a family like that. A family so loving. I wanna have something like that. I remember how we used to talk about protecting our children. I remember how T.K hid in one of the cabinets, eating uncooked oatmeal, and you and his uncle thought he had disappeared to a place nobody knew. I remember the day he was playing with your Rosemary flower pot in the garden. I remember T.E singing along 'sexy girl' from your SOCA CD. Istill remember her as the enforcer. I love how she's gonna help you with the boys. I remember how Bomboy tried to play with the plug-in air freshener at your neighbours..lol..and how he gave you that conieving smile..hahahah..and it clicked on you where you saw that kinda smile. Its been gr8 knowing your kids.
A candle lit message to you: Each task of everyday life is part of the total harmony of the universe.

30+ Ha! You? you think you are older than me abih? I toldu gimme 3 years. 3 solid years! I'll be your age ooo! Its been great knowing you too. You donno how i felt the day i saw you on my page.

Pamela Girlfriend, where do i start? I been feeling like i'm one person with you. You been more like a sister than just a mere fellow-blogger. I remember how you tagged me on random weird things, which havent even written even now. I remember how that anonymous guy messed up your comment page just bcoz of me. And i'm still saying that i'm sorry about that. Wow! And i remember how Eddiie made you and i feel special in Blogville by dedicating that song to us. I remember a lot of things. I remember how you started your work on radio. Oh God! I thank you for this girl. And you are doing a gr8 job. I remember how i tagged you on the 30 Days of Thankfulness. I remember the day Eddiie, Gerald and i helped you move to house number 222, next to the 2 boys. I loved that day. It was full of fun. I remember how you wanted to take Eddiie away from me the day you moved next to his house. I remember how we fought and Gerald came to creat peace between us. I remember how we laughed about it, and hugged, and went for ice-cream. I love you Pam...am i crying?..no..its just a single teardrop.

Dolly You been the best poet Blogville has ever had. And to me you been another inspiration. I wanna write poems as good as yours one day. Even though i havent seen you for a while now, i still have memories of some of your poems in my head. Some of which i've copied and dedicated to some people dear to me. I'm sorry i'm telling you now. I know plagiarism
is not allowed even in Blogville. But Dolly..your poems...

Sparkle Hey Yetunde? How do i even start remembering you?**smiles**. Yeah girl the first thing i remember about you is your ear. And how you ended up cutting short your hair. And how Olamild was crying everyday coz you were hurting.Its been gr8 knowing you. I remember you, Manda and i used to always be ready in case Diary updated, coz we always wanted to be first on his new post. I remember how i once found you and him, all alone in my house while i wasnt there. I remember how i asked you what you two were doing alone in my house, and you dropped down your head, and how Diary went to the bathroom. You still havent told me what you were doing with him that night. I remember the story you wrote after you got an email, somebody asking you to write something on that. It was so gr8. So creative. You are one hell of a girl, a friend and more of a sister. My candle message to you: We are gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.

Ozaveshe LOL...look at this one. Don't mind me. I won't say much about you. I still know what you did last summer, but mark my word, i won't say anything. Lol..i remember what you got on your birthday, which of course i missed. 29 calls, 3 text messages, 3 emails, 1 facebook greeting, 5 birthday cards, a bottle of groundnut, a cake, and a pair of socks. I remember how you complained about all that,but to me that was too much to ask for. I remember how you became an uncle sometime in April. I hope your nephew grown now, and that you've taught him wisdom as to mankind and things he's supposed to do and not do as a man. Yeah you smiling, i know, its allowed. Its been gr8 knowing you too this year..

Life Of A Stranger, Omosewa, Catwalq Stuck On My Throat Believer, Diamond Hawk, Ms. Emmotions, Lady A, Queen, Lurlar, Bugbemi: You guys brought xmas too early for me this year. I donno if saying thank you is goinno be enuff. Seeing you on my page bring a gr8 honour because i rate you people as one of the best bloggers i've ever known. I'm really gr8ful. I promise to always be on your back. All the way. Just like we do in Blogville. The team spirit will always be there. Will never change. I love you guys.

Ubong Da Blogville's Sex Maniac! I've never seen any post on your blog where you don't talk about your sexcapades. The one that has always been on my mind is the one where one girl came to pick you up and she came with a friend in a two seater car. And that other girl had to seat on your lap coz there wasn't enuff space in the car, and how the two of you had sex while your friend was driving! I remember how you used to fantasize about laying your female boss, and you finally did! Now you understand why i don't post comments on your blog right? The truth- i feel horny when reading your blog posts. And i don't like it! Lol...you've been a friend and a brother. And i'm gr8ful.

Diary Of A G What do i start with? Okay **hugs**. At one point you nearly portrade Ubong Da's character, but with time i gues you regreted some of your sexacapades that you stopped telling us about those. Ehen, i remember how you were with one girl at their house, in their balcony, and the mother came, and how you nearly fell and broke every bone in you..hahaha..that was some movie exee! I remember one wedding you attended and the pictures you shared with us. They were so breathtaking. I remember your time with her(you know who), but thats irrelevent for this post. Especially that we are all happy the year has ended. Oh yes, i remember you and Sparkle. How the two of you were in my house. I remember how you told me she was the one you had that dream about, and how you asked me not to tell anyone. Not even her! I'm not telling anyone ooo! I'm speaking to you alone right now. LOL... And i remember your grandma. I hope she's fine now. I remember every road we walked together in Blogville. Its been gr8. You have been an awesome guy. My candle lit question to you is that: What is something you would love to do for someone at some point but you haven't yet?

Gerald My boy, you've been one of a kind. Blogville's number 1 Journalist. That post about how you lost your baby sister was so touching. I still get my eyes soaked when i think about what you went thru. Especially at the hospital when your family was told that she was gone. But i'm glad you pulled thru, and i hope your family did too. Glad too that you were too courageuos to share that with us. I'd found a brother in you. A candle lit message for you: A man can do only what a man can do. But if he does that each day, he can sleep at night and do it again the next day.

Ugo Daniels Hahahahah..this boy! You been one hell of a boy, du know that? I love you and Nkem. I was looking forward to the first ever wedding to take place in Blogville, between bloggers. But..mehnn..things don't always go the way we want. And i'm glad you shared with us everything you were going thru. And i'm also glad that we been able to help you pull thru. I remember how i accused you of being gay, i'm sorry. Still am. I know how you felt, coz i went thru that too. Ehen, i remember your night out with that white gal you met at some restuarant. The beach night out. And how you two made out away from the people who also came to the beach party. I promised you i'm gonna tell your mum. And i remember the night you were at a friend's house. and his girlfriend was also there. The three of you watching t.v. Them sitting together on a couch, and you sitting there by yourself. I remember how you said you were praying that they shouldn't start anything funny, coz if they did, you were gonna join them...lol..you been a gr8 brother. And i have this to say to you: Let us plant dates, even though we, who plant them, will never eat them, we must live by the love of what we will never see.

Rayo In this smallest time i've known you, to me seems like i've known you my entire life. I remember how you shared with us your first visit to the strip club, and how Ugo Dee inspired you to write that one up. And i remember how you even ended up meeting and making friends at the club..LOL..that was some rib-cracking story you told there. Its been gr8 fun knowing you..

Olamild Sparkle's other exact copy! I wonder if you two are twin sisters or one is older than the other one. You've been an inspiration. Your muzic is gonna go places further than where your eyes can see. Your voice is gonna call on to those who can't even hear. The best story i remember you writting is the one where you talked about spending much time withone's family. I shud have been going Cape Town this christmas, but your story changed all my plans. So i'm gonna spend time with my family this festive. I also loved the one you wrote about ermmm..something to do with my cup of coffee, and you had a picture of a baby on a palm, which i thought was a coffee grain. That story was inspiring ooo! My candle lit message to you: Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.

Feather I loved your saying that 'one day i wanna see myself writting across the moon'..wow! I loved that. Really. Your poems are touching. They are soul searching. They are soul soothing. Just what some of us need in Blogville. I love you girl...

Anonymous girl All i can say to you is that: When nobody speaks your name, or even knows it, you who knows it, must be the first to speak. You been one girl i'll forever be gr8ful for knowing you.

Eddiie My boy, you been there for me all they way. I remember the first time i saw you on my page. I didn't read the comment you left but went straight to your page. I loved you blog then, i remember the template was that of a note book. I love it. I remember the song you dedicated to Pam and i. I felt special then. I still do. Thank you very much for the christmas cards you sent this morning. For me and the family. I remember how you 1st emailed me and then i saw your number on your email signature. And then i tried the number, it went thru. I remember that when i said my first word, and i toldu who i was, your phone cut. Later you rturned the call, and told me how you panicked, how you were shaking such that your phone fell and scattered into pieces. I remember how you told me you cudn't believe it was me who called. Yeah..it happens all the time..lol..you know thats a joke right? I'm the one who panicked!..lol..but seriously it was gr8 knowing you, and it was gr8 talking to you. And i'm sorry i didn't sms back last nite coz i think i was fast asleep. You candle lit message: If some things were different, other things would be otherwise.**wink**

Princesa You? You know what i'm goinno say right? I'mstill craving for the day i'll put my hands on Desperate C ooo! Biko, next time you see me where you are, please i beg of you show me that girl ooo! I want to give to her what you shud've given her that time she toldu to stay indoors, just coz you beautiful! Was it your fault that you are beautiful? Is it still your fault? Girl..thanks for knowing you and me.

Izzonline The number 1 midwife in South Africa. Anyone who might be pregnant in Blogville, abeg, don't worry, we have our very own Midwife here. Israel, i remember the day you delivered your own baby at your house! That was some awesome thing mehnn! How is the lil girl now? Does she know daddy is the one who brought her in? Wow! I cant wait for the day she'll start blogging about it.

Oracle Like all the poets in Blogville, you are one of the best! I mean it. Yeah i do remember how your grandma looks cute with a wig on..lol.. You got one hell of a dish of a grandma right there you know? please promise to keep them poems rolling even in the next year. Your message for end of year: I had the blues because i had no shoes untill upon the street i met a man who had no feet.

Boorishmale Its been long i know. But i still do remember you and Vera I donno if there was anything going on, but the last time i was there, you guys were fighting, and you never came back to tell me what the fight was all about. I remember it was after Vera came back from her 3 months sabat leave. But still..i love your blog. Thats for real.

UnNaked Soul Ilove how you write some words. Like unNaked, unFaithful, UnNecessary...its sooo creative. The mind is at work. I remember how one of my stories inspired one of yours. Thsi is the team spirit of Blogville i'm talking about. Where one's own writting inspires another. Its like one big family, where a brother helps another brother, where a sister stands in for another sister. Its been gr8 knowing you.

Ibo Dude Even though i haven't been to your blog as i used to, i know you there and i pray to God you are achieving what planned for. I still can't believe that,that girl you once talked unpolitely about, with your friends, is the very same girl you are going to marry. That was some confession you made there..lol..

Bighead and Writefreak You two are awesome writters i've ever came across. I wish to one day be able to write exactly like that two of you does. You two as well have been an inspiration to me.

Not forgetting my Ugandan friend Moments Like This and you Nigerian Obinwanne Knowing you meant adding you to list of blogs i read, and also getting to know more about you and your cultures. I hope we'll be doing the same thing next year. Take care of you.

Eloquent Expression I'm writting this to you cos i wanna show you that i don't have any hard feelings. I still regret the day i knew and met you. If i had known you were that kinda person, i would've done what i did with you. Now biko, please i wanna have a peaceful 2008. Can you please do that. In giving me my peace you'll also be doing yourself justice and giving yourself some peace. I hated the day you started shitting on Pamela's blog just coz i didn't publish your comments. That was some shit you were doing! The truth is..i don't really remember anything about you. But i have this little candle lit message for you: Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?

Afrobabe Oh Yeah...babe girl. I wouldn't forget you for anything. I hope you are still on your sabatical leave ooo! Or you've shagged someone already? Lol..you know what i remember about you? That midnight some neighbours disturbed your sleep, remember? Lol..you killed me when you said, ''nonsense people!''..i'm still laughing even when writting this..lol. I have a candle lit message for you: The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today.**wink**

Perfect Stranger..lol..why are you looking at me like that? So many things i remember about you...so many. A candle lit message for you: If it were not for hope, the heart would break.

This is the longest post i've ever written. I hope i've included everyone on my list of blogs i read. If I hadn't please remind me. This is my last post of this kinda, because i don't think next year this time, i'll be able to write a post like this one, as the list will be endless..well so i hope. But as i said, its been one hell of a year, knowing all of you. I'm not gonna say much, just come back all of you and lets keep Blogville team spirit rolling again. I don't wanna say this, but i know i have to: Merry Xmas everyone! and a Happy 2008!

Smokie continues..''And when the bells are ringing, And Christmas is bringing, A magic that fills the air, You'll be a wonderful sight, On a cold Christmas night, And I know, I'll be there, with you, with you, Christmas with you..But I'll be strong, It won't be long, So just light a candle for me, On Christmas Eve...''

A Weapon Called Silence

2007-12-13T23:54:00.000-08:00

I hope you guys had lovely weekend. Mine was hectic as usual. I attended two parties, that is on friday(xmas party at work) and saturday(our football team party). And as its always the case i took some pictures. But i think you people are bored with my pictures now? So I decided to keep them to myself this time around. Today i wanna share this with you.

It takes a hell of a woman to do something like this....
Ladies please let's all be honest, can we really do what this woman did???
It's a sad world out there imagine when this happens to you.... Have you
ever thought of what you would do if you found your husband/fiancé/boyfriend, red-handed cheating on you? Worse still, in your own bedroom? Have you ever thought of what would happen? These things aren't only read on papers, they are real. They happen to real women. Answer this question to yourself sincerely. Would you go for that kitchen knife, pack your stuff, or hire those thugs that do justice to other men.

You might be surprised at how you react to this... Read on my good people...

A Weapon Called Silence by Mildred Ngesa:
''I felt it the moment I turned the knob. The door was unlocked, but that was not unusual especially because his car was in the parking bay, where it usually sat when he was home. What I felt was a knot forming in the pit of my stomach - the kind of feeling you get when you hear movements in the house when you know you are alone in the small hours of the night. Every second Friday of the month, I travel to Kampala to collect Fabric for my vintage business in the city. On this particular Friday, I left home at dusk as usual, heading for the city centre to catch the 8pm Akamba bus
bound for Kampala. We waited for three hours and then it was announced that the buses had been cancelled due to a technical hitch. With nothing else to do in town, I went back home. The lights downstairs were on and so was the music. The English Premier League was showing on TV, so why wasn't my husband, a die-hard Arsenal fan, watching the game?

Sometimes a woman's instincts can be so sharp that she can smell last year's perfume on the shirt of her philandering man. My instincts were on edge. Even though there was no actual perfume in the air. In fact, there was nothing really that I could put my finger on. Just this odour of violation that ripped my senses like nothing I had ever felt before. Perhaps this feeling is what kept me from calling out to my husband. And it stayed with me even as I tip-toed upstairs, heading for the master bedroom. Nothing prepares you for anything like this. They had not even bothered to shut the door. I simply walked in and there they were, my husband and this woman, naked save for my purple flowered bed-sheets partly covering their entwined bodies. It took me a moment to realise the high-pitched cry that cut through the night was coming from me. The bewildered pair scrambled to cover their nakedness and stared at me blankly. They said nothing. My heart was beating so loud I could almost hear its echo in the next room. Trust is a fragile emotion. Like glass breaking, it can be shattered in an instant, never to be wholly recovered again. In that instant, my trust for this man was lost. "Why don't I go downstairs and make you some tea?"

Did I just say that? I had just walked in on my husband and another woman, and all I could do was offer them some tea! I slowly made my way back downstairs. In the kitchen, I switched to auto-pilot, fetching a packet of milk from the fridge, lighting the cooker, placing a pan of water on to boil, bending to remove mugs and the flask.. All the while, my mind was abuzz, humming a tune I did not recognise. This must be how zombies feel. It went on and on, the tune seemed to imply that I ought to be in control, that I ought to keep breathing so that I may stay sane. The tea was ready and placed on the table. Three bright blue mugs sat neatly on light blue place mats. I waited for the "guests" to come down as I sat motionless, staring sightlessly at the television. They came down my husband first, dragging his feet like a prisoner counting his final steps to the gallows. He sat on the love seat - the two-seater on which he had cuddled and kissed me passionately just the night before. She followed, hesitating for a moment near the same seat before moving to the furthest corner of the room, near the door, a safe distance from me. I began talking as I poured tea into the cups. I rattled on and on about the transport crisis and the difficulties of traveling at a time like this. But instead of reaching for a cup, the woman stood up abruptly and headed for the door. For a brief moment, our eyes met. She was not young. In fact, she appeared quite mature, maybe even married. I heard the gate open. My husband was still rooted to the spot.

"Why don't you see your visitor off?" I prodded gently. He didn't move. I sighed and started talking about the African Cup of Nations Championship and how sad it was that Kenya had lost to Burkina Faso. When he did not respond, I yawned loudly, said goodnight and went to bed. Sleep evaded me like the mosquitoes that buzz through out the night. My husband did not come to bed with me - he opted for the couch.

By the break of dawn I had painted my mind red with all sorts of possible revenge, thinking of the ultimate pain to inflict on him for the anguish he has caused me. But my heart grew haggard on the prospect of a physical confrontation. I was going to fight this war my own way and at my own pace. Last night marked the beginning of a cold war, not confrontation. I have heard of, and even seen, women go after "the other woman" with a panga. But my reasoning was, this woman was not the only player here. My husband probably seduced her. Other women go so far as to attack their husbands, but then again, I thought: If a man is fed up with me, he will let me know. If he wants to have an affair, that is his business. Strange, I know, but silence was my weapon - and a very vicious weapon it was. As far as I was concerned, that was the end of it.

I went about my business as usual and did not say or do anything that would suggest it had actually happened. Two weeks later, I was waking up and was surprised to find my husband sitting at the foot of the bed, sobbing deeply. "I am sorry... so sorry. Please forgive me, please, just say something, don't shut me out, just say something..." I looked at him calmly, my heart frozen. My face showed feigned surprise and innocence. "What are you talking about?

Sorry for what?" He sobbed even louder, sinking to his knees, his head buried in his hands. "Say something... shout, scream, anything, but please don't be silent. It's killing me, please, I'll tell you everything..." I smiled. It was the smile of a woman who has just tricked the devil into getting down on his knees and praying. It was the smile of a woman who had won. I had left my peace with God and He will deal with them in Time. At the end I remained the Lady he had married, and the other woman was just another lesson for me that made me the better person I am today.

This is well written. Reminded me of the story i once wrote when i was in grade 9. But it was a different situation. Still the same. It was about me being caught red-handed by my parents!...making out with the boyfriend!...in their(my parents') sitting room! Can you imagine? Well it was a regional essay competition and i scooped the title. My english teacher was so excited. Still amazes me even up to this day. I was 15 years old! Where did i get all the idea?

Have a productive week!

It's Official..!!

2007-12-13T23:45:00.001-08:00

My leg is completely healed..thank God!

Blessed weekend guys...!!

Not Yet A Woman

2007-12-11T03:50:00.000-08:00

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers " I'm fine " after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it.
When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person .... Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
who calls you back when you hang up on him.
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Who turns to his friends and says, " That's her!! "

One Hell Of A Weekend.

2007-12-10T02:30:00.000-08:00

Blogvillagers, good morning. It's been one hell of a weekend. I been running up and down town with my cousins. Are we in the festive mood already?..well..i donno...maybe. I hope you guys' been good too. We are heading for end of year now right? I can't even believe we are there already. Enjoy some of the pictures below.

You guys remember my cousin Dorcas right? The one whose been married for like 8 years now and still no child? Well..she's pictured here with Lady, her favourite pet. Last week Thursday it rained real hard and friday morning Lady was found dead outside the yard. We donno what happened. Their gate is electrified, so we donno how Lady managed to get outta the yard. Its so very sad. Dorcas spent the whole of friday crying like there's no tomorow. She said she felt like she has lost another part of her. Now, can we please observe a moment of silence for Lady.**silence** Thank you. Surely she's resting in peace right now. All of you who got female dogs, Bruno said i should let you know that he's not looking because he's still mourning Lady.

. And then Saturday we decided to go attend one wedding in Ramotswa. The girl who was getting married is Kena's colleague. Just a small pikin- born 1982. But it was one hell of wedding.

. Mirror, mirrior on the wall. Who is the faires..no!..the tallest of them all..??

. Faith, you are my kid sister. That means you still come after me. Even in height.

. You guys remember Justice ehh? The shortest guy in Africa? Well shortest after Nigerian Chinedu and Osita. This Justice guy doesn't have manners ooo! I even wince at the thought that he's from Serowe. I wonder from which part of my home village, coz we can't really produce such kinds of people. No hard feelings against this guy good people, just that i had thought when you get into the spotlight, somehow you should change your behavour to suit who you've turned into. But with Justice, no! After his eviction party last time at Fashion Lounge, he was beaten to the pulp after insulting one artist there who came to performe. Can you imagine? No wonder he wasn't in good terms with Namibian Meryl during his 1st 21 days in the Big Brother House. Nonsense! Well i saw him at the wedding. He's the one who asked to be pictured with us here.

. This is one girl we met at the wedding. Her own wedding is coming this weekend. Don't you think she's beautiful? Check out the eyes...dammmnnn!

. From Ramotswa we attended one stag party in Gabz. I wonder why people like getting married in december? Well..thats my dream car now. While i'm still walking this earth, i'm gonna buy this car for i-self!

. I used to feel hurt that i couldn't and maybe will never realise one of my dreams of becoming a model. But it soothes my soul seeing and believing that Faith, my kids sister/cousin will make it one day. If she wants that is. Coz she has everything there is to have to make it thru.

You people have to pardon with me oo! I've hurt my leg so bad over the weekend. Too much dancing and all. Went clubbing friday and saturday nites. So you understand now hey? It's bloody hurting from the hip down. I hope to be fine as the days go by. So i'll be trotting veeery slowly from house to house in Blogville. If you don't see em at your house as yet, just know that i'm on my way. Walking slowly and limping like that. Should have borrowed somebody's crutches. Why do i even have a feeling it's broken?...anyway..nice weekend ahead.

2007-12-04T07:03:00.000-08:00

Hey guys. This time around i don't have anything to gist about. But i went home this weekend and it was really gr8 to be with the kids again. I hadn't seen them in like two months. What kinda mother is this one? Well it rained ooo! And the village looked so godammnn beautiful. So very green. See the picture below.

. My house is situated a little bit up near a river and when it rains, the view is just so overwhelming.

. The kids watching Nobit. Check out the two Eddy Murphys on the t.v screen.

. This is how Vicky enjoyes watching t.v. You can even see the picture above. She's laying down. Even if you ask her to sit up straight, she'll just look at you and turn her head to the t.v.

. Sometimes i wonder...do i look like Jeddah...

...or do i look like Juniour..

..or maybe i look like Vicky..

...well, whether i look like them, or i don't, the thing is..there's something about these kids, that make me shed a tear when i think about them. Sometimes i smile, but most of the times i cry...i donno what it is...

Stop Abuse Against Women

2007-11-29T06:55:00.000-08:00

A deep white smoke filled the room. What kind of a room is this one? I want to walk quickly, but I can’t. I can’t even see my feet when I look down. I’m putting on a white gown, and there’s a white towel wrapped around my head. Slowly I walk. I don’t even know where I’m walking to, but I have to walk forward. Suddenly I see a group of people. They are also wearing white clothes. There are about 20 of them in front of me. They are walking in a queue towards what seemed like a gate. A very big gate. I walk slowly forward and joined the queue. I start wondering, ‘’where am I?’’. ‘’where are we walking to?’’. ‘’why are we wearing white?’’. ‘’why isn’t anybody talking?’’. And then I start to look around me. There are two straight-lined fences on both my sides. On my left side, I see a lot of people. They don’t look happy. Others are wailing. Others are fighting. Others are killing one another. I see a mother feeding a child with blood. Yuck! All these people are on fire, but they don’t seem to burn. Oh my God! It dawns on me. I’ve heard something like this will happen. Are those people in hell?

And then I look to my right. I stop walking. I see paradise. I see beautiful animals, beautiful fruit trees. I see children having fun. I see adults sitting under a tree, talking, laughing, and hugging. I see a little boy cupping clean water from the stream and having a lion drink from his hand. Oh my God! It dawns on me. I’ve heard something like that will happen. Are these people in heaven?

Wow! I wish to be in place like that. These people seem so happy. Is this how heaven looks like? While looking further on, I see someone. Do I know that person? Oh my God! He’s looking at me too. Who’s that? He is starting to walk towards me. I come nearer to the fence. I turn to look at the queue and see that 5 more people joined the line in front of me. Where is everybody coming from? I turn to look at the person coming towards me. Peter? That’s Peter. I start shouting his name. Oh my God! That’s my Peter.
But…but…but what is he doing in heaven? He should be in hell. Oh God why? Why did you put him in heaven?

He comes towards the fence. He’s touching my fingers but I can’t feel his touch. Is this how it is in heaven? Somebody touches you and you don’t feel their touch? Is this how it’ll feel if ever I get to feel Peter’s touch again? No feeling at all?

‘’Mercy, what are you doing here?’’
‘’I came looking for you’’
‘’But you can’t be here’’
‘’But I want to be here’’
‘’What about our son?’’
‘’He’ll be fine’’
‘’He is not FINE Mercy!’’
‘’How do you know?’’
‘’Look behind your back’’

Oh my God! I looked into what seemed like a mirror. I can see Bobo holding me. He is crying. I’ve seen him cry a lot of time, but I’ve never seen him cry like that. Our neighbor, Mrs Norman, is comforting him. Bobo is wearing a black tailored suit. There’s a lady by his side. The lady is wearing a wedding gown. It was Bubo’s wedding day. How can I choose to leave our son on his wedding day? What happened? Can I go back? No! But I want to be with Peter. Peter was taken away from me two months after we got married. I miss him. Now that I’m looking at his eyes, I don’t want to let him go. What do I do now?

I turn to look at Peter. ‘’You have to go back’’
‘’I can’t. I want to be with you.’’
‘’You will be with me in the future, right now he needs you. Please go back’’

I move away from the fence. I look back at the mirror. I look back at Peter. I can see his lips moving saying, ‘go back’’. I can see him pointing backwards. He’s telling me to go back. Back to a life I should have been sharing with him right then. We should have been together at our son’s wedding today. He should have been alive. He doesn’t belong here.

Our marriage was our blessing. Our couple was the one people termed as a match made in heaven. Things started getting sour when he went for a friend’s stag party. Ever since that time, Peter came back a different person. Whatever happened there took all our happiness away. What followed was years of hardship and abuse. The incident that I will never forget was the night he came home, very drunk. I was in the kitchen making popcorns for our late night movie. Bobo was playing one t.v game. When he entered the house, he shouted my name. I didn’t like the tone in his voice. I came immediately. Before I could ask anything, I saw him hurry towards Bobo, picked him up, then came towards me, threw Bobo at me like he was throwing a piece of paper…

I look back at the mirror; I look back at Peter again. He is still asking me to go back. I start to proceed towards the gate. There are about 10 people in front of me. I know before I walk through that gate I would have made up my mind….

This is an extract from the draft of a book I wish to complete writing one day. And a book I dream of seeing turned into a movie. It’s a dedication to all women in the whole wide world. Abuse is not safe. Abuse is not good. Lets all unite to fight abuse, especially against women.

Have a great weekend.

Ooops! She Did It Again..

2007-11-26T04:38:00.002-08:00

Hey guys. Dammmnnn! 'ts been one hell of a weekend. But it's fine now shaa, back to base and heading for another hecting month. I hope everybody's fine oo! I was all smiles this morning when i saw that Life Of A Stranger, Believer and Diamond Hawk pased by my page. I couldn't believe it. I top-rate those three, now seeing them at my comment page was something else. Thank you so much guys.

Here i come again, you guys remember that Kenyan girl who wants to be whatever she wants to be with me right?
Ehen, a few days before we wrote the exam, we were in class, she was sitting on the next row behind me, and then suddenly she whispers my name. When i looked back, she passed something to me and when i checked it was her picture.

''What do i do with this?''
''No, i just wanted you to have a look. I'm gonna send that one to my brother who's in Australia, and then i'll make another copy for you''
Then suddenly i remembered that Pammy said i should ask her if she had a boyfriend.
''Why are you lying that you are gonna send this to your brother? You call your boyfriend your brother?'' I chuckled.
''Aaaagg, c'mon Jay. I don't have a boyfriend, seriously i'm gonna send this to my brother.''
''What is your brother doing with your picture?''
''Errmmm, you know like, we haven't seen each other for like 3 years now, so he says he wanted to see how i've grown''
''And then?'
''Jay, what du mean and then? He just wanna know thats all''
''Mmmh?''
''Yeah''
''Okay. But you do promise that i'll have my own copy right?'' I just wanted her to think that i wanted her picture, but i didn't. Besides that was our last lesson before the exam, so i wasn't gonna see her again after that.
''No i promise, i'll get you one.''

And then i remember we knocked off early from class that day, and then i'm walking to the bus stop to get a taxi home, when i hear somebody shouting my name. Dammmnit! Why does she like shouting my name like that? Aaaaggg, and then she asks me to wait for her. We walk together to the bus stop. While still waiting for the taxi, her phone rings, and she starts talking in one funny language.

''Which language was that one, Kikuyu?'' I asked her after she hung up. Even though i donno the language, my ex b/f, the anonymous guy is kikuyu.
''Nope, i don't speak kikuyu, that was my language, Luo. I don't even like the kikuyu people. They think they know everything. They think they are intelligent or something like that. They think their tribe is the best in Kenya, but they are all pieces of shit!''

Mmmh, typical example of that lunatic! Right now he's decided to go shit on Pammy's blog. Nonsense!
Well my people, don't mind THIS GUY. He's such a jerk!

Back to the story now, we got on talking. In fact she's the one who was doing a lot of talking while i listened.This girl was boring me ooo! When the fuck is the bloody taxi gonna come? Dammmnn! Finally, when it did, i was so surprised when she got into the same taxi with me.
''I thought you said you were gonna go to the bus rank first before going to your house?''
''I've decided to take you half way to your house, then i can track to mine from yours''
Oh my God! The taxi had already hit the road, and there was no way i could convince her otherwise or me getting outta the taxi. Shit! I don't want this girl to see where i stay. Who asked her to take me half way? All the way i was thinking of what to tell her, so that she doesn't see my house at all.
Should i tell her i left my aunt at the house?
Should i tell her i left a man at my house?
Should i drop off at the next stop and tell her i've decided to go back to school?
Oh my God! What am i gonna do?
We were quiet all the way in the taxi, because i was busy cracking my head for what excuse to tell her.

And then we arrived to where i usually drop off. When we got off the taxi, i saw my cousin Faith. I think she was waiting for another taxi to go to college where she's studying to become a teacher. Thank God!
When we came up to meet Faith, i did the introductions and then told Faith in our language that i don't want this girl to know where i stay, so i told Faith that she's gonna have to stay a little longer. We looked for some place to sit and i told Daisy that i hadn't seen Faith in a long time, so we are gonna wait and gist a little. I could see the disappointment written all her. She asked me to show her my house.

''Aaah, no you can't see it from here. You see those tall trees there?, right behind them.'' I was pointing to the wrong houses. You can clearly see my house from the bus stop. We sat there, talking with Faith. I deliberately ignored her and concentrated on Faith. Talking in our language and i think at some point Daisy felt left out. Serves her right!

After sometime, her phone rang. After talking to whoever, she excused herself, saying it was her mother and that her mother wants to see her immediately. I thanked my God! Immediately she left, the taxi came and Faith left, and i walked happily to my house.

Later in the evening, an sms went through into my phone. When i opened it was from Daisy. The sms started like, ''Scroll down if you miss me''. People, abeg, i didn't miss her, but this is my phone now? Am i not supposed to scroll down my phone? So i scrolled. The next line went like, ''So you miss me? Please scroll again''..i'm scrolling ooo! And then, ''okay, if you miss me that much, scroll for the last time'', i continue scrolling. And then next, came a picture of a kitten. The words that came with it were that, ''i sent you this cozy kitten so that it bites you if you don't think about me, like i'm thinking about you!''

I didn't reply to that sms.

The next evening, she sent another one, ''Hi dia, commitment, passion & intimacy-3 pillars dat make our relationship A NEW BRAND TOY plz let us be jealous and protective with it. luv u.gd evg''

My God! Which relationship now? There's not any kinda friendship i can have with this girl. One, i don't understand her. Two, i think she's gay/les. And three, she's from Kenya. I've got a history with somebody from Kenya who thinks can make my life a living hell. But he's the one living in hell right now.
Can somebody please tell this girl to leave me alone? Abeg!

30 Days Of Thankfulness- Day 22

2007-11-20T20:56:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by Princesa.
And i too have so many things i'm grateful for that God has done for me. Firstly, Pammy no vex now, ehh my sister? I know you tagged me to on a different topic, but i will write that one up hey? I'm still thinkin' about them weird things about me. Well so far i only got 4, but you wanted 8, so i'll be there my sista, abeg don't hiss at me now. Even though i deserve it.

I start by thanking you Lord for making me see daylight this morning. For watching me sleep peacefully over night. No one can choose not to sleep, and watch over a sinner all night except for you Lord and for that i'm very thankful.

I thank you Father for making me change my mind about quiting my job last year. It was a decision taken without thinking, and i thank you Father for getting me back to my senses. I still thank you Lord for giving my management that courage to call me into their office and tell me that they still need me in this company. Bcoz, Father, that day i realised how important i am to some people and the impact i have made to them. God, you are good.

I thank you Lord for giving me the intelligence i have right now. You have seen me through all these years of my schooling and i'm still here doing my best at school. Your love is great, your love is undivided. Bcoz you chose to give it to a sinner like me. Even up to this day i still ask my self why me? After all i've done to you. After what i've done to some people, who i held dear at some point in my life. But God, you are still here, loving me like there's no tomorow.

I thank you Lord, for the day i fell onto Mphahlele's blog. Bcoz that was my key to finding the lovely and loving friends i have today in Blogville. I didn't know anything about this small village. And even though its a small village, i thank you Lord bcoz everyday its population is increasing. Lord, place your powerful hand on every head thats in Blogville, and show them the way, show them the truth, make them see that you are the life. I thank you Father...

God Almighty, i thank you for the loving family you bestowed un to me. I had thought i was going to die alone. I 've asked my mum several questions when i was growing up, why she chose to just give birth to me alone. Why didn't she buy more children? Bcoz when i was young i was made to believe that kids are bought from hospital. I asked her why she just decided to buy only me? But now i know why...

I thank you Lord, for bringing joy to my mother. When i had Vicky, she was over the moon. She told me that, she was scared that i might never have kids, even though she never told me why. When i had Jnr, i saw her cry. It was my very first time seeing my mum's teardrop. When Jeddah came, she killed the only best cow she was given to by my grand father- her father. Thank you Lord for those three blessings you gave to me. I can't thank you enough for what you've done to me and my family.

Thank you Lord for this day. Blogville sing with me, ''This is the day, This is the day, This is the day that the Lord has made, That the Lord has made. We shall rejoice, we shall rejoice, we shall rejoice and be glad in it, and be glad in it.''

I thank you Father for giving to me a friend called Sean. Thank you Lord for making Sean see that anything is possible. Sean was born with a disability and he's conformed to his apartment. He connects to the world through the internet. Lord see through to him. Make him strong. Lead him to you. I thank you Lord, bcoz in your eyes, we are all dissabled. We lack knowledge. We are conformed to our own useless beings. When we walk, we donno if its right to put the left foot first, or if its wrong to put the right one second. We just find ourselves walking. When we talk, we donno which word to say first. We just find ourselves talking. Lord, you are the Messiah, The Biginning and The End. You know what we donno. You know everything. We are thanckful Oh Lord.

I thank you Lord for my grandmother who's still walking this earth even up to this day. My grandmother suffered a stroke in 2000 and her left side is not working. But she's still here Lord, and people had thought you would have had your way with her by now. But no! God you kept her still. Thank you Father.

Thank you Lord.

Now i'm tagging Obinwanne , Be Silent 2, Pammy, Eddiie and Gerald

HIV/AIDS And Africa

2007-11-19T04:27:00.000-08:00

Hello Guys!. I must start by saying that it feels good to be back home in Blogville. I hope everybody’s fine ooo! Me? Oya, half half now. The exams were fine. By God’s grace I hope I’ve done well. Can’t wait for the results. And i must thank all of you good people who left good luck wishes on my page. I'm really gr8ful. It really means a lot to me.
So much to gist about, where do I even begin? Okay, some people have decided to mess my mood this good Monday morning abih? The devil is liar!
I just logged into my yahoo account first thing this morning and what do I find? More than a 100 same messages from different people saying, ‘’ let me be the 1st one to wish you a merry xmas!’’. Good Lord! November is not even over yet! December is not even half way thru, let alone started as yet! Oh no! How can people choose to spoil my after-exam mood like that? Nonsense! Merry xmas my foot! This time?

Ehen, I was on the phone with Jnr last night. He said to me, ‘’ Jane, mama a re o tle o re ise clinicking le Jeddah re ye go ntsha letlalo’’.( Jane, mama says you should come and take Jeddah and I to the clinic to remove the skin) Oh My God! So my mum has told them? The president just announced that young men should undergo circumcision as it also helps in reducing the spread of HIV/AIDS. How? I can’t even start to imagine. So my mum has been nagging me to come take the boys to the clinic for the operation. Ha! Not my boys now, ah-ah!, for what?. I still don’t know how the removal of the foreskin reduces the chances of getting infected with the virus now. Does anybody know? Not that I’ll take them to the clinic even if I knew. What’s so special about circumcision anyway? A dick is a dick, big or small, circumcised or not, it still gets one to cloud number 9 doesn’t it?
Ha!, my ex…you know…? the anonymous guy? Once told me that, when one has undergone the initiation, and then doesn’t suffer the illnesses that come along with it, like anesthesia and all, the person is considered a warrior, and given much respect among his clan/tribe. Who cares? We are talking AIDS here. Talk of respect? AIDS doesn’t know that word or its meaning.

And talking about HIV/AIDS, there’s this interesting programme that’s going on in our country. It started in June this year. For you to be part of the programme, you gotta be aged between 18 and 35,and you should be HIV negative. The programme is tryina test the effectiveness of a pill called Trevada-something like that, in short, TDF2. Anyone heard of it? The pill is gonna act as a vaccine for the HI virus. You know, just like babies are given vaccines for polio, measles and all other diseases that are prone to attack infants. I heard the pill is gonna work the same way. So if they administer it to you, your body will be able to fight back the HIV.

Youngsters are not coming forward to join the programme. Apart from the fact that people don’t want to test, the other reason is that, we are not getting satisfying answers when we ask questions about this pill. The organization that’s running the programme is only interested in getting people to join, and not answer the questions. I went there the 1st time I saw the advert on t.v, and the questions I asked, which I never gotten answers to, made me develop 2nd thoughts. I just had a feeling these people want to kill us you know? So what happens after the pill is administered on me? How long is the waiting period? From there what happens? Are they going to administer infected blood into my system and monitor if the pill has worked or what? How are they going to do the monitoring? Or better still, after I get the pill, was I supposed to go around bonking anyone, with no protection to check if the pill has worked or not? See, some people are going to think that, the pill is a cure for AIDS, and I think they’ll go sleeping around. What also pissed me off, was that they wanted to administer the pill on me immediately after they gotten the test results. That’s what they were interested in, and not answering my questions. So I told them, I’ll come back after they explained clearly on national t.v how that pill is going to work.

When I took a break from studying last week Friday I decided to go check on them again. Pity. They are still looking for volunteers. Useless officers, they claimed to know me, coz the minute I got into the office, one of them went like, ‘’ You? You’ve come again? We hope you’ve come to join the programme this time?’’
‘’Naaaah, I was just passing by to check on you guys’’. Well one of my distant cousin works there. His elder brother runs one talk show on t.v so he goes like, ‘’I’ll tell my brother to summon you to his show, let’s see if you’ll be able to ask him those funny questions’’
‘’Ha, so you think what I’m asking is funny huh? Well if he has the answers now, I’ll ask him exactly what I asked you people. And I’m so disappointed that you don’t know why you are running this programme. Do you know that in asking people to come forward and join, they are putting their lives at risk? Who can really risk their life in the name of fighting the AIDS scourge? Are getting paid at all?
‘’Just as much as we want people to volunteer, we are also volunteering.’’
‘’So you are good Samaritans? Ha, okay. By the way, where is this pill from? I know it’s definitely not from Africa?’’
‘’No, it’s not from Africa’’
‘’Yeah right, I knew it’’

I once talked to P.S about this, and he enlightened me with something that scared the living day lights out of me. He told me that, whoever came up with this pill, is hoping to make a lotta money. Bcoz the minute it’s known that, this pill is working exactly the way they had anticipated, Africa is going to buy it from them with a lot of money. Can you imagine? So Africa is where they come to do their hide and seek abih? Firstly, they invented AIDS,(coz i believe this disease was somehow invented by someone), shipped it into Africa. Secondly, they invent condoms, they ship them into Africa. Ever since these condoms came in, people are dying like nobody's business. Now they’ve invented a TDF2 pill, it’s here in Africa. It’s administered to Africans to check for its effectiveness. If it works, I know it’s gonna be shipped back to its origin. And then Africa will start buying it from them! People, what are we Africans? Pieces of shit? To be used and dumped just like that? Dammmmnnnn!

Look my good people, if and when this pill comes to your doorstep, biko, don’t allow them to administer it on anyone. Let the person or country that invented the pill, start by administering it on themselves! Ah-ah! What sort of rubbish is this? Nonsense!

My mood is really spoilt. Make I go do the rounds in Blogville now jare, useless people!

Who Do We Question?

2007-11-04T23:57:00.000-08:00

''For God so loved the world that he gave out his only son to die for our sins..''. I've heard this statement many times in my religious education lesson when i was still at juniour school. But now my boss has just lost her husband. Very sad. And in the incident it was like, ''for the husband loved his wife so much that he laid his life for her''. She and her husband have been married for as long as i can remember. They have three beautiful kids now. Two girls and a boy. In their family history, everytime she fell pregnant, she would become so very sick. But will get back to normal after giving birth. I mean it's normal to not feel well when pregnant. Morning sicknesses, nausea, fatique and all, but hers was unusual. Her feet will become swollen at..say the first two months. Very swollen she won't be able to walk. This time now, she's been admitted into hospital since discovering she was pregnant. And its been okay up till friday when we heard that the husband has committed suicide. It was on this friday that my boss gave birth to her son!

He left a note that he blames himself for his wife's sickness, and that he couldn't stand seeing her in hospital for that long. Who do we look up to for answers in this situation? What is my boss gonna tell her son? But you know how people are now? Ehh? They are asking whether thats the sole reason why the husband hanged himself. Mxem! Nonsense! We talking serious matter here. It's a very sad sad situation.

Anyhow sha, may his soul rest in perfect peace. I just shared that with you people coz it really gotten me wondering if love can really take control that one wouldn't mind practically taking their life coz they love someone. And also to let you guys know that i'll be gone for two weeks. I gotta write my exam now. Like i always say, a woman with multiple tasks's gotta do what she's gotta do. You people wish me luck oo! I really wanna finish this school thing. Have a lovely week ahead and the week after. Will miss everyone.

2nd half!

Happy Days Are Here...Still

2007-10-28T23:21:00.000-07:00

For the nth time, meet these two boys and a girl, who came in row. I've said it many a times without number, i'm not ashamed to have had them at 22! I still believe everything happens for a reason, and one day i know i'll get to know that reason. The folowing story is a dedication to them:

Once upon a time, in the remotest area ever, deep into the forest, at one cattle post, there was a girl. A little girl. She was 8 years old. Her name was Seanel (pronounced Shaw-nel).
To her life seemed just fine. Herding the goats into the kraal in the evening, separating the young from their mothers, and retiring to sit around the fire, was all she knew all those days of her life. She was in grade/standard 3. Staying at the cattle post, tracking a couple of kilometers to school everyday, barefooted, didn’t matter that much to her. All she wanted was to get an education. Dammmnnn! At a mere 8 years? What did she understand about the importance of education?

She was staying with her mother’s grandmother. And 10 more distant cousins. They lived in a small mud hut that had only a drum as the door. The roundavell was not big enough to accommodate all of them, but they had no choice.

Her mother stayed in the big city, trying to find work. She only gotten to see her mother 2 times during those 2 years she stayed at the cattle post. At that time, the only means of communication was through writing letters, and during her stay at the cattle post, she received only one letter from her mother. In that letter her mother wrote, telling her how much she loves her, and that very soon she’ll come take her to the city. In the letter, her mother asked her to hold on a little while longer. Inside the envelope was also enclosed some 60thebe coins. It was a lot of money at that time, coz she managed to buy herself half loaf of bread and some sweets.
During those years, she only got new clothes 2 times in 2 years, i.e. only on Christmas. The pair of panties she got during the course of the year, she never wore. The older cousins took them away from her. So she went to school with no underwear. The new pair of foot flops she got, she never wore them too. That’s why she walked barefooted to school everyday. Life at the cattle post was very hard. And living with those distant cousins made it harder. But that’s not what she cared about. She wanted the years to come and pass. She wanted the days to go by. She prayed for her mother to find work. She wished for the day, her mother will come, hold her hand, and tell her that, ‘’I’ve come for you. Pack your bags and let’s go’’.
After school she had to rush home (to the cattle post), because if she came late, she won’t find anything to eat. All the 11 of them ate in one big basin. When it was time to eat, it was survival of the fittest or an early bird catching the fattest worm kind of thing. Summer was fine, except for the constant biting of the mosquitoes. Winter was worse. She’ll be having on just a simple skirt and a very light top. That’s all she had then.

It was not safe living at the cattle post. It was difficult for her, herding the goats with no shoes on. But she had to coz she was ordered to. Else she would go for days without food. The water they used to wash with, bath with, cook and drink came from a well. And everyday, each one of them should fetch at least 5 buckets of that water. There was a time when she nearly fell into the well and when she got home, and told the grandmother, she was given the beating of her life!

One day she was coming from school after the afternoon study. She was walking alone. On the way, up on the road she saw a white car parked in the middle of the road. And 3 men were standing on the road too, discussing something she couldn’t hear. Immediately she saw the car, she branched into the bush and hid under one shrub. She waited. Listening to the men talk. She kept her breath very low. After what seemed like ages, the men left. She thanked her God, and proceeded to going home. In those days child abduction was very common, and in seeing those men that’s the first thing that came to her mind. Remember we talking about an 8 year old.

The best thing about this little girl was that she was very smart in class. At other times, when the teacher was not in, she’ll take over. And her teacher loved her that much. There was a time when she was called to a grade 5 class. When she got there, she was asked to explain to the learners the difference between a bird, bad and bed. And how to pronounce those words. The day her mother came to ask for her transfer, her teacher cried uncontrollably. But to her that was dreams come true….

Back to reality:
My middle name is Seane. I just added that (l) for the story.People don’t believe that, that happened to me as a child. I don’t know why. But it did. And today when I tell my mum about it she goes like, ‘’look where that got you now. You are a very smart responsible lady. I used to hurt that I did that to you, but there are times that I feel proud that I left you at the cattle post, coz of what you are today. I’m proud of you’’.

Today I do believe that what goes around comes around. I wasn’t staying with my mum when I started school and all, and now my kids are not staying with me. Sometimes I feel the reason why my mum doesn’t want me to take the kids is because she wants to make it up to me, for not staying with me when I was growing up. At the time I needed her the most. But, what if when those 3 grow up, they are gonna ask me why I didn’t stay with them now? Well P.S says that if I stayed with those 3, I’ll spoil them rotten. I believe him, coz I saw that, the time I was staying with them back in 2004. He says that my mum can do the better job in raising them up.

And I think I understand now why my mum could not stay with me then. That’s why I want to talk about it here. For the very last time in my life. She didn’t have a choice. Life was hard for her. And I think she didn’t want to put me through all that at that time. Thank God I was- and still am- her only child. It was better. Imagine me fending for 3. But I’m not complaining ooo! I have my mum to thank. She’s doing gr8 with the kids and I’ll always be gr8ful for that. I’m still wondering what I can get her for this coming xmas.

I just wanted to let this out of my chest. I feel much better now. And for the record...i don't want my kids to go through what i went through. I'll make sure of that...

Jaybabe- On Being Second Best

2007-10-22T03:30:00.000-07:00

‘’How can you ask me something like that? I’m here with you, at this time of the night, sitting in this car, with my dick up, and you sit your ass there and ask me if I really love you? And you very well know that I should be home with my wife and the kids at this very moment. But no! I’m here with you. And that’s all you can utter from your mouth?’’

And that gotten me wondering, ‘’oh! So? All that I am to him is getting his dick up ehh? Is that all there is to it? That’s not what I want. That’s not how I planned to have the relationship. The kind of relationship I want is where I can feel a sense of belonging, i.e where I can feel that I belong to someone. And where I can feel I own someone too. Not be reminded of the other party. Is it not how it should be? I mean is it not how a relationship should be?

The opening statement above (mind you, that’s just an intro-not anything that I went thru) goes to show what men would sometimes want from a woman. Just sex. Nothing more. Nothing shorts less.
But then why do we as women choose to be manipulated like that? Why do we choose to go out with people who have intact relationships? Let alone married people? I’ve brought up this discussion in the office and one of the answers I got was that, married men understand ladies more, as they’d been in the ‘game’ for long, so they’ll know how to treat them(ladies). But then, the question is how do we as unmarried single ladies know that married men can treat us right?
Well, this discussion doesn’t only involve married men. Also men who have girlfriends. You know like, I’ve realized we can also willingly choose to go out with guys who have girlfriends and still expect them to treat us the same way they do their permanents. In other words, we can choose to become second bests. Why?

Being the person that I am, I don’t see myself appreciating being second best. It’s either me and me only. Or none. Period. Well. I’ve realized some people cannot deal with that, but like I said, that’s the person in me. If I was made God for one day I would definitely change that. But I can’t and still I cannot afford to be second best because a lot will be expected from me, and I’ll also expect a lot from somebody.
Have I ever been a second best? Yes. That’s why I don’t encourage it. That’s emotional abuse at its maximum.

‘’I cannot see you today bcoz I have to drop my 1st born at her school. There’s something they are doing at school.’’
‘’I cannot go with you to a public place becoz so many people know my family’
‘’My girl friend will be in this weekend, so please don’t call or text’’
‘’When I was with my wife at that restaurant, and I saw you, I panicked becoz I thought you were gonna walk up to say hello’’
‘’Please don’t love-bite me’’
‘’Well, when I come to see you I take off my wedding band’’
‘’I came with this Japannese car bcoz my wife is using the BMW’’
‘’I cannot take you out to the movies this weekend bcoz my girlfriend needs some knew pair of jeans’’
‘’I won’t be able to see you tonight, need to work on my car’’. Can you imagine? A mere car being given 1st priority? Nonsense!

Tia understands me more when it comes to giving me her time. She knows that she’s not supposed to tell me why we cannot hang out on a particular day, because one time when we were still staying on-campus and I wanted her to join me in one group discussion, she told me a relative was coming to check on her at school. That evening all hell nearly broke loose! Just tell me you can’t, and don’t give the reason, unless I ask! Dammnnit! Am I insane?

There’s one guy I don’t talk to in the office after he told me point blank that I am sexually attractive! Can you imagine the embarrassment and all? I used to think that its money that makes this world go round. That’s why I work every weekend in and out. But now I think to some guys lately it’s the sex that makes their world rotate around the sun! Nonsense!

If you ask me why I chose to become second best…I’ll tell you that…I donno…really. I don’t...

Half A Dozen Ain't Really Six

2007-10-15T01:33:00.001-07:00

Tia: So what are you gonna do Jay?
Me: About what?
Tia: About this situation?
Me: Is there anything i can do?
Tia: Thought so.
Me: Like what?
Tia: Tell him how you feel.
Me: He knows.
Tia: Tell him some more
Me: Will that change anything?
Tia: Maybe
Me: No...i know that guy. When his mind is made up, there's no going back.
Tia: So crying is your best option?
Me: Am through with that. He told me to cry. Maybe he knew I was going to. Now I’ve cried my heart out. It feels good. It feels much better.

Silence.

Tia: But you love him Jaybabe!
Me: Yah I know. Everybody knows. My mum knows. The kids know. And most of all…he knows.
Tia: I don’t like you like this you know Jay?
Me: It’ll come to pass, don’t worry.
Tia: But you hurting!
Me: It’ll be fine….I’ll be fine.
Tia: What’s the real issue kante?
Me: Problem is, he says I’m too possessive, just because I asked why he didn’t send anything. That’s kind of like caging him. Like he’s prone to send. But I was just asking for the sake of it, you know?
Tia: (still reading the email I printed to show her) so that’s the only reason why he’s choosing to do this?
Me: Yeah…
Tia: Oooooooh! P.S you are hurting my friend oooo! Mxem!....what did you say to this?
Me: I obliged. Maybe it’s for the best. I know I’m possessive. I was born like that. I can’t change it.
Tia:….eish..Jaybabe..i..i just donno what to say you know?..
Me: Don’t say anything girl..I’ll be fine.

More Cousins And More Fun...

2007-10-07T23:27:00.000-07:00

Helloo guys. Was a great weekend right? Thought i shud share with you some of the pictures i have coz i got no gist this time around. Hope you'll like the pictures.

Don't look at me! Look at the Lover's Hill on the background. Anyone who knows the story behind that name? Okay. In this village two people were in love, but the elders were against the union. This was a long time ago. A very long time ago. So the couple decided to elope. And the last time they were seen, was when they went up this hill and they never came back. So even up to this day, people say that you can hear voices of invisible people talking when you pass by this hill. And it's adviceable not to go up this hill coz you won't come back. Scarry stuff huh?

That's not a wig oo! Thats my hair.

That's me and a broda from anada mada! LOL...Well i love the way i'm posing. Kinda model like.

Cousins Osetse and Gosego(in dreads). The name Osetse means the one that was left behind. She had a twin brother at birth, but he passed on and she stayed behind. Sad.

Gosego and moi!

Oss and moi!

Jaybabe and her tipsy smile.

Tshana, my cousin Dorcas, Milli and moi!

Kena and Jaybabe. Kena is Gosego's sister. They've decided to keep dreads. Easy to manage i gues.

Osetse. We were outside the yard.

You people should help me pray for Dorcas and her husband oo! See their marrige is 8 years old, but they don't have kids as yet. Now they are keeping dogs as kids! Thats Bruno and Lady. The two love birds.

When Dorcas is tipsy, she can do anything. Including shotokai. Or is that mawashageri? I donno. LOL. Gosego and Kena look on. The husband was also watching.

Bonus picture for you guys. Have a nice week ahead. I gotta go back to work now.

My Blogg...My Country

2007-10-03T01:27:00.000-07:00

Errmmm...**clears throat**... P.S asked me to try on a wig! Now look at the results! Not bad is it? Well i edited the picture to black and white for a change. Still looks better. Even though we nearly fought when he asked me to cut off my hair! Oh my...he doesn't know the time, money and energy i spent to get my hair to where is it right now! Men don't understand some things to they?

My blogg turned 1 last month. Due to this change of privatisation shit i even forgot to wish my page a happy birthday! Dammmnit! Well our country was turning 41 too on sunday (September 30th). So it was a holiday on monday (thats why i didn't publish a post then) and our sweet president also gave us tuesday to rest! Can you believe that! Wow! I thank God for this president oo! Now you understand why i had to post today right?

I wanna tell you guys something. I should've written this sometime ago, but i had thought things were gonna get better. Du guys remember Ugo Daniels' post about some guys in his school who wanted to...errmmm..kinda shag him? The gay guys? And i left a comment on that post saying that i think Ugo was gay and didn't wanna say it? Well he didn't like that. And i apologised. Now i know exactly what he was going through and what he went thru at that time. Yess coz it happened to me! And again to Ugo Dee...i'm sorry.

You know how its like at the start of the semester? First years running up and down corridors, tryina locate their classes? And it really gotten into my nerves when they'll just bump into you and ask, ''where can i find block 240?''... bloody pikin! do i know?..nonsense! Another one went like, ''can you please show me the science block?''...eeehhwooo! am i doing science?..**hisss**..
Due to all these questions i ended up forgeting which block i had to go to for my business statistics lecture. Mistakenly i went to block 239. When i got in there i just saw new faces.
''Ermm, excuse me? which course is getting in?'' I asked one guy sitted just by the entrance. ''Basic accounting?'' Whaaaat! Dammmnn. So i get outta the class. Waited there for a while, tryina figure out which class to go to for my lecture which was goinno be in 10 minutes.

While still tryina crack my head, one girl came over. Got into the class, and about 5 seconds she got out. Came to me and said, ''which course are you waiting for?''...she appeared as a foreigner to me and the way she spoke her english sounded familiar.
''Business stats''
''Ohh? I'm also taking that one too. But i thought this was the class we were to be in''
''Me too''
''Dammn! what do we do?...okay let's go check at 203''
''Yeah i also thought of that, coz i wasn't sure if it was 239 or 203''

When we left for 203, and we were walking along the corridor, she wants to hold my hand! What! I quickly moved my hand to the other side. What kinda girl is this one? Wants to hold my hand? So that we walk hand in hand? Nonsense!

When we got to class i saw that those were my class mates. So we came to the right class. We looked for a place to sit and she set next to me. I like sitting at the front row. She whispers into my ear, ''lets go sit at the back''
''No i like sitting in front''
''Oh? Okay''.
''Were you in this class before? Coz i don't remember your face you know?''
''No. I'm re-taking this course. I'll be through this december''.
''Okay....so where you from?''
''Why?''
''Your tone you know? Sounds like you come from up north''
''I'm from Kenya''
''You are from Kenya!!!?''
''Yeah, what? You know anybody from Kenya?''
''Yah, i used to know somebody from Kenya''.
''So what's your name? Coz i'm Jane''.
''Oh. I'm Daisy*.

And then it continued like that. We met everyday in class. I mean that i only saw her in class. Having figured out what she was and still is, i avoided chances of sitting next to her from then on. But everytime she came into class and saw that there wasn't any sit next to me where she cud sit, she'd try by all means to shift with anyone who'll be sitting next to me.

The other time i was craving for something hot, and then i went to Riverwalk mall for a piece of Nandos. I was there at the counter placing my order when suddenly i heared a familiar voice shouting my name across the room! Godammnit! i don't like my name shouted across the room! When i turned my head, she was there with two other guys. Quickly she jumped to her feet and came to meet me. ''Hi''. She hugged me VEEERY tight ooo! Like she wanted to squeeze whatever was inside me.

''So you do eat out?''...was i shaking?
''No..ermm..those guys are my friends, so they just took me out for a snack''
''Oh? good for you''. My order came. ''Lemme go, i don't want you to keep your friends waiting''
''Hey, wait! Can i get your number? You know like we go to the same class, but i don't have your number?''
''Oh yeah, you can have that one''. So i gave her my number and left.

The next day in class she came. It was her lucky day maybe, coz a sit next to me was un-occupied, so she came rushing in, and before sitting down she said hi to me and hovered over me to gimme a hug. Well i thought it was goinno be a hug. But she did what? Placed a very wet pack on my cheek! Guys.. a very wet pack! Yack! See me now even up to this day i still scrub my cheek with that rug!
When i turned around people were watching and i've never felt this embrassed in my life! And the way people were looking, it was like they new how this girl was, and maybe were wondering if i didn't know or if i was in too!

''You are a liar, how come you never called me after you took my number the other day?''
I just wanted to be friendly ooo! Coz i knew if i had to face this girl, she wouldn't wanna come to class anymore (which i'm still gonna do).
''Ooooh yeah, you know i had to lend my sister the phone and..blah blah blah... But i'll call you tonight. I promise''. Mxem! Do i look like i care even if you don't call? Nonsense!

This girl cannot stop complimenting me oo! Today it's, ''dammmnn Jane you looking so hot!''. And tomorow it's, ''where do you buy your clothes? coz that bag really matches your outfit''.
Kai! Lord have mercy!

You guys don't wanna know the sms she sent me do you?

One Wahala After De Next(last part)...

2007-09-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

I wondered how come the trip back to Gabz seemed like it was taking forever.I mean to me, we took only a few minutes to get to Peter's home, but going back now we were taking ages. Matters made worse, Tia was asleep all the way to Gabz, with her head resting on my lap, i was whilling away time by brushing thru her hair like that with my fingers. My mind wondered into a far away land too.

Was it the right thing we did to have gone to the funeral?
What step is Peter's wife gonna take after learning the truth?
Whats gonna happen to Tia?
Whats gonna happen to me?
Whats gonna happen to our relationship?
Dammmmnnnnn.....
Tia seemed like she didn't care about the threats the woman was making. Why?
Peter's sister, brother and the cousin said we shouldn't be frightened by what the wife said. Why?
Was everything fine between Peter and the wife?
After abandoning Tia, why did Peter come back again to her, and the started shagging behind my back?
What was it that i was missing?
Peter's mum kept on embrasing Tia. Why?
Does she also know the truth?
If she does, how come she wasn't cross?
Oh...my God...!

''Tia? Why do i have a feeling i'm missing something here?''
''Where?''
''At Peter's..everybody was embrasing you, and everything seemed to be fine?''
''Yeah everything's fine. You have a problem?''
''TIA?''
''Yeah WHAT?''
This was after we got to her house. Well i just wanted to see her safe homw before i could go to my house. We had freshend up and were having some resting space.

''Don't you dare raise your voice at me Tia''
''And if i don't?'', she said this standing up to change one channel on t.v
''Why are you shouting?''
''I said if i raise my voice, what would you do?''
''No, nothing.''
''Good. You know what the problem is with you Jane? Ever since you knew about this preganancy, it's like now you are my mother. Tia this, Tia that. Everytime. That sucks!''
''Oh? Really?''
''Yeah really!''
''So you don't appreciate all that i'm doing for you?''
''What is it you are doing for me?''
''Well...i thought i was doing something...to a friend you know?...for a very close friend. Now....well it's okay.''

Silence.

''So they know?''
''Who?''
''Tia, take it easy now?''
''Who knows what?''
''Peter's people? They know about you and him and the pregnancy?''
''Oh..my...God....huh!..you know what Jane? Get outta my house now?''
''Tia please?''
''OUT!!!!''

Hee bathong! whats wrong with this girl? So now i don't need to know anything? To her, i'm a nobody now? After what i went through with her? After all i did to her? The excuses i made? The lies i told? Just for her sake?

''Dammmnit Tia i'm not moving outta this house untill YOU tell me whats going on? Why was Peter's family all of sudden warming up to you? What the FUCK do they know?''

''Huh! so you wanna know ehh? Is that what you want? Good. I'll tell you Jane, COZ THEY KNOW EVERYTHING OKAY? Everything. Do you have a problem with that?''

''Tia, Peter abandoned you after he knew about the pregnancy. Why the fuck did you take him back?''

''You still wanna know right? Peter and his wife were getting a divorce, and he had promised that he was gonna marry me immediately the divorce was over! You still wanna know more? Huh?''

''Ha! Tia, and you believed him? Aaaaggg! why are we even talking about this?''

I grabbed my sling bag and banged the door behind me.

My house was so godamn stuffy, so i decided to clean it up a bit. And in there trying to put away what Tia had just told me. This girl is or was just being so unreasonable! Believing that bloody-...my phone rang.

''I'm sorry Jay''
''Feel sorry for yourself Tia!''
''I still love you marr''
''Start loving yourself first Tia. And love that baby you are carrying. And don't you dare call this number again!''

I hung up.

One Wahala After De Ada..(part one)

2007-09-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

Guys, how are y’all doing? I must say it was a very lonely week (last week) without my fellow bloggers here and it feels good to be home. The tests were fine unless for one, of which I think I didn’t do the best I thought I would. But I took with me Gerald’s advice to look up and start the count down. In a way it really helped. So will tell you how I performed sometimes this week.

Important note: The government department I’m working for is being privatized so blogging is gonna be limited for me(wahala number one). Please bear with me. Private companies don take no shit oo! That means posts are gonna be published on Mondays, then I do the rounds on weekends. Pardon me I need to keep my job oo! You guys don’t want me to starve do you? Now abeg, here’s how it all went with Tia and I going to Peter’s funeral. Take your time. I know it’s a very long post.

Okay. Being the best friend that I am, I managed to convince her to go for the funeral. For all the reasons I gave to her and I even told her some of the things you guys said. So she ended up agreeing and we ended up going. Oh my God! I didn’t know what the funeral had in store for me ooooo! On our way back I really wished I hadn’t gone there. You know like on Fridays there’s much movement people going to their home villages and all, so it was jam packed(wahala number two)at the bus rank such that we ended up getting a taxi to go drop us to where we could hitch-hike.

Immediately we got to the hiking spot we got a ride from one guy who said he was also going to the same place we were going. Thank God! This was around 4pm neh? But we arrived just in time for the arrival of the corpse, coz we met up with motor-cade at the junction leaving the main road. Peter’s home is in a very rural area, and the roads there are not yet tarred, still under construction, and very dusty. If it wasn’t for Tia stopping the driver to take a pee all the way, we would’ve arrived very much earlier. And I must say it would have been better because when Tia saw the cars, she started crying(wahala number three). Oh my God!, we were with this stranger who just gave us a lift and I prayed for Tia to stop it coz I wouldn’t know what to tell this guy if he asked how we were related to the deseased. Damnnit! Tia stop crying! I said to myself.

That was just the beginning oo! When we got to the compound, we were welcomed by Peter’s brother and the cousin. I didn’t know them, Tia did. And when she saw them coming towards us, Holly God! She just became vulnerable that I thought maybe she was goinno faint! I was very worried about her. I worried for the baby. I started asking myself whether it was a good idea to bring Tia there. And then the brother and the cousin showed us the room we were goinno use to spend the night. This was on Friday night and the funeral was the next morning of Saturday. In most cultures around here, when the corpse is brought home, we stay the whole night with it. We don't sleep. Pastors saying sermons one after the other, hymn singing, praying and words of encouragement laid down. So the way Tia was, I asked her not to come out, ‘’just have a rest, sleep and you’ll attend the funeral in the morning’’. She obliged this time.

The next morning Tia was worse. Her eyes blood short, voice horse and blocked nose. She cried uncontrollably. At times the cousin and the little brother to the late Peter ( Oh my God-I can’t even believe I’m referring to him in the past!) came over to us to help me calm Tia down. At the graveyards, when the casket was going down, and people close to Peter came one by one dropping a portion of dust(soil) inside the grave, Tia fell(wahala number four). God have mercy! People near by came to help me move her body to one of the cars. Inside the car I just didn’t know what to do. One lady there was fanning her with the copy of the programme. Another one helped by removing her shoes, head scarf and the jacket she was putting on. I took the items and put them in our sling bag we were carrying. Tia wasn’t moving. Nothing. Silence. I felt like crying. I didn’t wanna cry. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to be strong for her. I knew if I cried, it was goinno be a different story. So I just kept on blinking the tears back. Watching her limp body laying there, really broke my heart. I should not have come here with her. I kept telling myself. I worried for the baby.

The funeral proceeded on until about lunch time because one speaker after another said his/her last words. So many people had something to say. People who worked with him were so many. It was like the whole company came to the funeral. I could see Peter was really adored even in the way they presented his time while he was still on earth. May his soul rest in peace. I can almost hear Sparkle, Manda, Feather, Pammy and Ola murmuring Amen, accompanied by Ugo Dee, DOG, Gerald, Eddiie and Ubong Da’s baritoned Hallelluya.

When we got back to the yard from the cemetery, Tia was put in one room where there was a couple of ladies. She still hadn’t regained her consciousness. I was sitting by the veranda when Peter’s little brother came over to me. We sat there and talked about this and that.

‘’Can you show me Peter’s wife, I haven’t seen her. In fact I donno her’’
‘’Oh! Really. Du see those ladies going inside that roundavell?’’. He said pointing at a number of ladies walking in a row into one roundavel, very traditional house.
‘’Yes?’’
‘’Yah, that second last one, with the stripped shawl? That’s her’’
‘’Oh? Okay.’’
‘’How’s Tia doing in there?’’
‘’I donno…they are inside with her.’’
‘’What happened?’’
‘’She just blacked out…I donno..’’

Just then one lady came outta the house in which Tia was and summoned to me(wahala number five). When I came into the house, my eyes were focused only on my friend. Dammnn she still hasn’t woken up.
‘’We hear you are the one who came with this lady?’’ They asked me.
‘’Yes I’m the one.’’
‘How are you related to the family?’’
‘’Ermmmm….Peter was our very best friend’’
‘’How could you be friends with a married man?’’
‘’But we were friends!’’ I bit my lower lip. Am I panicking?
‘’And this one too was a friend?’’ she asked pointing to a ‘lifeless’ Tia
‘’I said WE WERE FRIENDS!’’..i was practically shouting. This woman shouldn’t start with me.
Just as I said that, Tia moved her hand....

2 Minutes..

2007-09-12T04:37:00.000-07:00

Hey you guys...I miss Blogville oo! I'm still writting my semester 1 tests and will be back this friday. This is my last year in the University oo! so i gotta do what a woman with multiple tasks's gotta do. And there's so much to gist about. That i promise. Can't wait to get back.

Loving you all...

xxx

Turn Of Events

2007-09-04T08:31:00.000-07:00

I wanted to tell you guys about a wedding I attended back home over the weekend. Especially the part where the bride was being told the rules of in a marriage by the elders. These were just small small kids getting married oo! 1982(groom) and 1986(bride). I winced at the part where they told her that she’s not supposed to ask her husband where he is coming from, if he comes late at home! Ha! Can you imagine? So my husband comes home in the wee hours of the morning and I’m supposed to keep quiet? Tufia! And when I get diseases like HIV/AIDS I’m still supposed to keep mum? Ehh? Maybe then(in those elders’ time), but not now! Not in our time!
But now there’s a situation.

Tia sent me an sms Sunday night, that the guy who impregnanted her is late! You remember that married guy? To my surprise, all along I had thought Tia will always tell me what could be happening in her life now,considering that she’s even pregnant. But goshh..she’s been seeing this guy again! Behind my back! Am I not a friend now? But I been there for her all this time! Why would she go see this guy again after he abandoned her when she told him about the pregnancy?

Immediately the sms went through I called. She was using a number I didn’t know. So I called her in her phone. She is crying and doesn’t wanna talk. She was with someone,and she gave that person the phone,some girl. I was even shaking myself,for what I didn’t know.I asked the girl on the phone, ‘’When?’’. ‘’Today around 12 noon’’. ‘’What was wrong?’’. ‘’We donno, but something to do with his heart and he was also asmatic’’.

I also came to learn that Peter*(not his real name) had problems with his wife two weeks before. The wife had mentioned she was divorcing Peter. Has she heard about the pregnancy or what? I got scared for Tia. You know in this country if you are caught messing with somebody’s husband(legal) it’s either you get a jail term or pay a fine of above P50,000. So I don’t really know why the wife was divorcing. What if Peter was doing somebody else and maybe the wife found out? What if she found out about Tia,and maybe not the pregnancy? Dammnn! But I told Tia now! With all the flings she was having and all….last nite we got talking…Tia couldn’t stop talking about their memories together…

‘’Jane, kana a kere I can’t go to the funeral. Even though he mensioned that his wife was leaving him, he died still a married man. His last sms to me was, ‘’hi love, I’m still in hospital and pennyless’’, when I asked for airtime. Then b4 going F/town, I smsed him saying, ‘’baby why are you quiet?’’. No response. A few days back when I was coming from Orapa we came together when he was going to one hospital in South Africa. That was the longest and last time I ever spent with Peter. We started from O/town at 9am and arrived in Gabz around 8pm. We went to his cousin in Palapye, spent three hours there, we left and stopped at Mahalapye for some drinks. Still on the way we stopped at Mosaditshwene, all the way, he was telling me about his life. He said he wished that he had married me instead. He checked in at The Grand Palm. We spent the night at the Mertcourt. He said to me that if my passport was fine we could go together to South Africa.When he asked if he could drop me off at my house in the morning, I declined, saying I’ll get a taxi home. He left and said when he came back I should go with him to help him choose a big mirror for his sitting room and that he wanted to buy ceiling materials for his new house. That was the last time I saw my Peter live. Next up was his sms saying that he’s been admitted in hospital in Orapa. That was two weeks ago. I told him that I think somebody was bewitching him. And he said, ‘’I’ll be fine my love’’. Jane I can’t sleep at night, I’ve never cried like this in my entire life ’’..

‘’Aaaagg shame..so many memories. But you’ll have to go.Traditionally we believe that when you pay your last repects to and looking at him in that coffin/casket, he’s also looking at you. So I gues he’ll be glad you came to say goodbye. Just go. For his sake. For your sake. I’m really very sorry too Tia. I didn’t even know that this guy was sick!’’

‘’It was an on and off thing. He was asmatic, sometimes felt dizzy,and he had high blood. Somehow I think he was saying goodbye to me that time we spent together from O/town. We spent 12 hours on the road-from Orapa to Gabz. Least he knew I loved him and was there whenever he wanted to talk. Last night I couldn’t sleep. His cousin and little brother said that I have to come to the funeral. Eish I donno…’’.

‘’Like I said. I think you also have to go. Lemme know when you’ve made up your mind. I can come with you. But it’s for the best. So that you may let go of him. Else you are not gonna lead a normal and healthy life. Remember how pregnant you are? If you don’t go you’ll stress your self up and it’s gonna affect the baby.’’

Guys it’s really hard for Tia. I’ve never seen her this distraught. It’s like she’s finished. It’s like her whole life has been taken swiftly like that from her. But again, this guy was harsh to my friend when she told him about the pregnancy. Why does she feel this way about him when he’s gone? Okay maybe they made up all the time that I didn’t know she was seeing him again. Maybe things got back to normal. Maybe the guy now came around and accepted the pregnancy. Maybe I don’t understand because I aint the one wearing the shoes.

Future Kids

2007-08-31T02:16:00.000-07:00

WITH THE WAY THE WORLD IS, IT MAY NOT BE SUPRISING IF THIS IS WHAT THE NEXT GENERATION WOULD BE LIKE.

Wishing you a blessed weekend guys. Me? Oh! I'm going home saturday. Will be with my kids then. The two posts on both the blogs reminded me of them.

Salute! XX

Ladies Night Out

2007-08-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

The weekend wasn’t that hectic. Came to work on Saturday and knocked off at around 4pm coz I had to attend one colleague’s baby shower. I hadn’t had any baby shower when I was pregnant and from what I’ve seen so far in what they do in these occasions I would say thank you if ever somebody offered to throw me one. Kai! The questions they ask! Oh my God! Once I attended one where they put the pregnant woman in a nappy, just like you would put one on a baby, and started feeding her nestum if she didn’t gues right the name of the person who bought the present she opened.

And then, there was one where they put a Russian inside a condom, then put two eggs in another two condoms, then they tied it around her neck! Oh my God! They said that should show her that if ever she got to play with something that looked like that, she’ll get to be in the same state she was right then. And the questions! Oh no! Can you imagine somebody asking you, ‘‘what’s wrong with your stomach?’’..and then there’s a portion where you have to explain how your boyfriend/husband/spouse gotten you to be in that state! Damn!..i’ll never fall pregnant again oo!..short tempered as I am, I don’t think I’ll stand the questions. But I think women have found a way to cut down costs on them buying infant clothes before the d-day coz the presents were so many. I laughed when there was a tooth brush in the presents. So the baby gon brush brush teeth sha? Which teeth?..lol…coz he/she gon have to wait for too long before the brushing and all..

Well it was a good weekend I guess. Hope you guys had one too. And @ the women I hope you too throw baby showers like we do.
And then it proceeded to a little party at the boyfriend’s place. You guys should help me thank Perfect Stranger for the digi cam oo! Coz it made things easy for me to make you guys see how we do things around here. The baby shower part is for the ladies ONLY and then the men come in afterwards, like at about 10pm or so. I’ll come back to upload some pictures. I know they are too many. But please take your time.

You will also get to see my friend Tia. But I won’t tell how she looks. I won't even label the pictures in case you figure her out. All there is to know is she wasn’t drinking and was very quiet and boring. I miss her good old days when she wasn’t pregnant. I know she would’ve been a mess. Her shower is coming next year March. And she told me that’s when she’ll open a blog account. Like me she’s gonna dedicate it to her baby. You know like mine is 3 In A Row. I donno what she’ll call her own. I suggested, ‘One That Came Along’…how does that sound?..lol..kiddin’. Some of the pictures are here:

That baby looks like he/she's standing up! I donno...Thats the lady of the moment oo!

Well that was my last one. From then on i drank water and then later coke.

Some of the presents. Thats a baby stool, you know like where they sit when being fed. Looked very cute with a matching baby carrier. This baby got a lot of presents!

I promised some pictures ehh? They are HERE. Like i said look very slowly. Or better still view with slide. You'll see Tia oo!

Blessed week ahead. XX

While I Was Away...I Got Dirty

2007-08-22T08:07:00.000-07:00

It's this other time of the month that i hate so much-month end. Meaning taxpayers are coming in,so it's gonna be so godammn busy i won't be able to come here. But i hope you guys understand now ehh? Lemme go do what i get paid for. I haven't laughed like i did today after reading this one:

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are their 8 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her 8 children are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to
him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!" The blind man replies, "If you would have put a rubber (condom) at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus right now, so shut up and walk''.

So i want you to do the folowing:

Go HERE.
Look,smile but don't touch.
DON'T EVEN TOUCH THE SCREEN!!

Nice weekend guys...(coz mine has already started..)

Cook Him A Nice Meal...

2007-08-20T00:30:00.000-07:00

Q: My husband wants a threesome with me and my best friend.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing there's only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing and thats your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you are still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totaly selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two(it's a great time to clean the house too!). Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him, then you cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris are.
A: Your clitoris are of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay for men is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is you do not love your husband as much as you should; he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you should make it up to him by performing oral..and cooking him a...

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one
A: I'm not sure i understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a great meal.

If men were to write advice columns...it would be a disaster...

We Wearing The Same Shoes

2007-08-17T01:11:00.000-07:00

Overwhelmed Naija babe's post ignited something in me to write up this one. Had never wanted to write this, but just wanted to let her see and know that at one point she and i were putting on the same shoes.

Like you can see in this picture..i'm really doing fine.

I didn't know it happened to every guy, or does it? Maybe some guys can control it. And read the writting on the wall when you tell them it's over. But for some i gues it'll take them ages. And then another thing is, the name calling, the swearing, the threats and all? Why don't women do that? I can be hurt when a guy tells me it's over. I'll be heartbroken to see him with another woman walking past by. I would wish i had done things right. I would wish to turn back the hands of time and right what i wronged. But i've seen that people(guys/men) don't do that. They'll rather make your life a living hell. They'll make sure you don't get to wish for the next day. They'll never leave you alone. In my case he even went to an extent of communicating with my current, just like Diary of a G would run to the males who left comments on OWNB's page.

How was a man and a woman made? Different? How? Why don't i follow his current and make threats to her? I used to think that men are stronger than women. Now i see that physically yes, but emotionally no!

The following conversation is the last one i had with my ex at google chat, this was in January this year:

Him: Thanks(after he asked me to log on to the chat room)
can I talk before you do?

me: so wareng?

Him: I want to set something straight
I want to tell you that whatever stuff i said to you, like call you a whore, a bitch, sicko
I actually never meant it
and I did say that in my sms last night
I want to undo whatever curse i laid on you today
I want you to know that its only Love that I only intended
I guess I loved you too much
there is a proverb that says
that when you love too much you break the amblical cord
you seen a new born lamb
that thing hanging, the mother loves the lamb too much

that she steps on the cord unintentionally
I want you to have the best Life you could posibbly dream about
I want you to be Loved more than I ever said or claimed that I love you
I want you to smile
my sincere apologies to whatever pain, humiliation i might have caused you
I want you to let me go
I want you to stop Loving me like you said
I want you to find other better jokes than my sour jokes that I told you
I want you to get somebody who can dance
I want you to get a friend first before a lover
I want your new man not to hold your hand in a public restaurant
coz you want to chew on bones.. damn I loved that
I want ...fuck... I dont want to cry.. but Its something that I have to do.

I want you to walk away
I want you to just leave and pls forget me
because I will forget you when you logg of this email
Thats all I wanted to say.. I am really sorry

me: I've heard all that

Him: its gonna be hard oh God, but its for the best
I want you to have the best

me: its goinno be very hard letting you go too, but i have to, i cannot go on like that with you

Him:You gonna have to let me go.. if you hold something even tiny in your heart for me
I will still perceive it a thousand miles from here
I always feel you inside me always.. but an hour ago, my heart was in mouring.. you died, not heart broken i mean you died
Dont wish me anything
I dont want pity
I hate pity.. i never was good in pity
Dont remember me
If you do remember me, my Love for you was genuine,

my heart will ache. So just put the switch off and close the door

me: okay

Him: Your heart speaketh but to mine without a touch, a phone or eyes

me: that i know

Him: So, I beg of you to just close this chapter.. Sigh
I actually made that sigh
dont ever write about me or send me emails or call me or sms me
Just walk away

me: ok.ok.ok.ok i've heard i'll do that

Him: By the way, Roselyne(thats the sister) asked about you.. My mother too asked about you. I guess I will have to tell them that we are no longer together. And that it was for the best and no further discussion

me: yeah please do that
its for the best you know?
that everybody goes their way
this hurting and the fighting was really getting into me

Him: Log off, coz now i will delete you from my mailing list and all the emails you ever wrote.. pls do that also from your side

my last words to you
I Love you and if you doing this for your own Good sake,

then who am I to stop you from your decisions
least you have made them, wrong's n right's.
I made my wrongs most of the time
I think, I might just drink or stop
afterall I dont deserve to be hurt anymore
what can I say more
well, I Love you...
You dont have to feel anything
because i know gore i'm saying it from the bottom of my heart
you have walked away from me when I needed you most
..yeah... good comes from bad
thats what my Grandmother always told me
Good comes from Bad
its okay you made your decision.. um young.. ambitious and above all..

i dont lust
I take my time
wish all the best in your life... I will always Love your kids
in my heart, they are my kids
Go well dont post this on your blog.. its my last request from you

Despite this conversation i'm still getting threatning mails,messages and nasty comments on my blog. But it's okay. Like i told OWNB i do ignore everything.

Just last night i got two smses from the guy:

1.IF I SAID GORE I DONT THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY I WUD BE LYIN. HELO JANE.

And then i ignored like always. Then after a while

2.ANYWAY I WILL KILL YOUR BOYFRIEND OR HE WILL KILL ME. WHO EVER KILLS THE OTHER ONE FIRST.

So guys, i gues you wondering what i did ehh? Like i always do-IGNORE! Somebody adviced OWNB to save the threat messages for every reason. I'll do like wise.

Nice weekend....xx

Yes!!! Hollywood came to Botswana

2007-08-13T02:39:00.000-07:00

Even though i didn't come to work this past weekend-to make money of course- i had a wonderful little weekend of my own.
The film crew from United States were shooting the Nite club parts of the movie- No.1 Ladies Detective Agency. A movie which is goinno be turned into a series in no time.

I'm pictured here with my cousins- Faith(in red track suit) and Osetse.

I saw the film crew friday nite and i had thought i was gonna come in the morning of saturday to take some pictures, not knowing that friday night was their last night at Eros bar. They came and renovated the bar into the one that's in the book- No.1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alex McCall Smith.The bar now is The Go-go Handsome Mens Bar...lol..i have never read the book.
Heard about it for the very first time from my babe when he was here in May. We even went to look for the book at one book store in Game City Mall, but didn't find it.

I argued with him on how come he was leaving in the U.K and knew about the book that was set in my country and i didn't know about that. I hear it's a very nice book which has already sold at least 15 million copies right now in Britain. I gues it's still gonna sell more after it's turned into this movie-especially that the lead actress is Jill Scott..oh my God! You people should've seen how she looked in that african print skirt! Oh my...she has a behind that's exactly the same as that of somebody from my home village-Serowe. She looked so damn Botswanian!

Like i said this bar used to be called Eros. And i heard the film crew paid the owner a lot of money just for him to allow them to shoot their movie here. I pass by this place every morning when i come to the office. And i sometimes come here with my cousins coz this bar strictly plays jazz. No kwaito, no r & b, no mpaqanga, no house muzic, no traditional muzic, no rave, no acid, no reggae-nothing! Strictly jazz fusion. The kind of muzic my babe would love. Like all you'll hear is the sound of piano, saxophone, violins,trumpets and a little bit of drums here and there.A lot of commoners here are very old people, mostly married old couples.
I'm still trying to locate where the film crew could be shooting rite now-coz i want to take some pics of them rolling the cameras and shouting their cut! stints. I've seen on newspapers places where they'll be shooting this movie, but i will get them, i know.

I was bored saturday morning so i went to Game City mall to spoil myself a little bit.Took my camera with me. Then from Game City i passed by Riverwalk mall. Aaaaagg!, i don't like this mall coz majority of people who do their rounds here are white people(please i'm not saying i hate white people-my babe is white now!), and besides the shops here are so godamn expensive. But it was quiet fun. Saw that the Debswana company sponsored some people to come teach/train some little kids in karate. On my way back home i stopped by Handsome Mens bar to take some pictures of the inside. Dammnn, you'll have to see this bar at night!

Click HERE to read more about the No.1 Ladies Detective Agency filming. Yes right here in Bots.
And click HERE for some more pictures.

I hope you guys had a great weekend. Mine was very gr8. I was also cracking my head to come up with a solution for the ''WAS IT A BAR OR A BAT I SAW'' on my last post. Oh my God! How could i have been so dumb? When you read the sentence going backwards- IT READS THE SAME!

Have a productive week! xx

For The Weekend...

2007-08-10T01:22:00.000-07:00

When i come back on monday, i wanna find answers as to what you think about the sentence below:

WAS IT A BAR OR A BAT I SAW?

I was asked this question by my biology teacher at high school and he never got back to tell us the answer. So help!

Blessed weekend...

Me, Him and 3 In A Row

2007-08-08T03:15:00.000-07:00

This post is as regards my last two. Mxem! don't mind me on this picture...was just whiling away time.

Well the discussion today is why women and men cheat? You should've been in the office today as i asked my co-workers why they cheat. Women(ladies) talked against men,and the guys were supporting themselves.

I had the following answers:
A woman cheat:
-When she isn't satisfied sexually(1st and foremost!)
-When she realises her man is cheating on her
-Due to distance relationships
-For the fun of it
-The recent inaugration of a 50/50 thing
-When she knows that her man loves her that much and will forgive her if he gets to find out.
-To test if her man loves her(oh my God!)
-Sugar daddies

A man cheat:
-Because He is a man!
-He doesn't give birth,and a woman does
-It was meant to be like that from the start(which start?)
-Makes him feel more of a man
-For the fun of it
-He's in competition with his friends
-Due to distance relationship
-Feeling lust about a girl
-Sugar mummies
-Has got more to give than take(..nonsense!..)

(Who's got the longest list?)

Okay. Maybe you wondering if i've ever cheated? Who? Me?..mxem!..haven't you?. There's no one who can say they haven't cheated abih? Raise your hands..let's see? See?..no one!
Well my reason for that was...ermmm..what was the reason? Mind you i did it only once oo!
Wait a blessed minute! Cheating here i mean going out with one person while also having another intact relationship. Yes thats what i mean. But in a situation where by you break up with one,and then get involved with another,thats no cheating now is it?

My co-workers(especially the men) were like from the beginning,long time ago,during our ancestral times,men were allowed to have more than one. Marry as many as they wanted. So thats when it started. That men should have more than one! The question(mind the u is following the q) now is should that apply to our present times? Ubong Da might be knodding his head!..and maybe DOG supporting him too! To hell with you..lol...I'll still come to tell you why i cheated.
So if ever it happens that i have a lil family of my own i would talk it over with my husband. I wouldn't want a chef of gardener or maid(house girls and boys). Abeg..the last two posts are funny but they carry more meaning than what just meets the eye. Anyway..i gues by the time i do my 3 IN A ROW will be old enuff not to need more hands to help in the house. Or maybe they'll be off to places of their own. Remember Olamild was talking about FAMILY? Thats what it is to me. Wife, husband and the kids. Full stop.

If my husband and i can have that kinda fun...and i mean REAL FUN, what will i(we) be needing the house helpers for? Unless if we wanna bring wahala to the house! God forbid oo!

Now have you ever cheated?...why?

A Closed Mouth Gathers No Feet..

2007-08-06T23:24:00.000-07:00

Case 1:

Case 2:

A maid in a Sandton home wanted an increase.
The Madam was very upset about this and asked: "Now Princess, why do you want an increase?"
Princess: "Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase, the first is that I iron better than you."
Madam: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Princess: "The master said so."
Madam: "oh."
Princess: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Madam: "nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Princess: "the master did."
Madam: "oh."
Princess: "My third reason is that I am a better lover than you."
Madam (very upset now): "did the master say so as well?"
Princess: "no madam, the gardener did."

Whiling Away Time...

2007-08-03T00:59:00.000-07:00

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder...

A 10yr old boy was jealous of his new baby brother because his mother was not paying attention to him at all. Tired of this constant ignoring he decided to solve the problem once and for all. He decided to put poison on his mother's nipples while she was sleeping to kill the baby. The next morning....the gardener was found dead!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!

Don't touch that which does not belong to you..

Have a very blessed laughing weekend.

I Can't Stop Blaming Myself.

2007-07-30T01:35:00.000-07:00

You remember Vicky now ehh? She'll be 8 this christmas

I been trying to put up a smile on my face for the past two weeks.I haven't even told P.S about this one.He's gonna read it from here.

You remember the story i wrote about the two cousins i was staying with in O/town when i was growing up right? The ones i was doing everything for? And about the female one who wanted to come drop her two daughters at home to stay with my mum? And that i told her i have my own bundle to look after? Well the story is HERE for you to read.

I'm gonna narrate this to you slowly so that you understand.After i declined my cousin's request to come leave her daughters with my mum,she went and dropped them off at grandma's in the village.That's where my mum was born.My grandma stays with my mum's youngest sister(my aunt).My grandma's last born.Now she too has got two kids of her own.A boy,19 and a girl 13.That means at the village it's my grandma,my aunt,her two kids and my cousin's two kids(remember the older one is 4 and the younger one is 2 and a half).

I been tryina put on a brave face for the past 14 days because the above 19 year old molested and raped the 2 and a half year old! This is happening at home.Where my mum was born.My maternal home.I didn't wanna write this up or tel P.S about it because we were waiting for the test results for the little girl and the boy and when they came out proven true i felt like dying.People we talking about a 2 year old here and somebody she looked up to as an uncle.A 19 year old for that matter.I donno..maybe the guy has gone insane or something.The journalists from The Voice newspaper were at home on Friday and wanted to publish the story.We chased them out.Please pardon me,i'm not gonna say much about this,just that it's a family matter and i hope we'll be able to solve everything accordingly,with God's help.

Now you might be wondering about Vicky's picture on top.Everytime i go home,the kids never stop talking about how their 'uncle Raider' gave them money and bought them goodies.Well uncle Raider is my mum's friend.But i haven't met him face to face.I only know about him from the kids.

It's might sound stupid,but after this incident it keeps occuring to me that something like that might happen to Vicky.Looking at how my cousin is doing right now,i just can't bring myself to think about how i would feel if anything of the sort happened to my girl.It might not be uncle Raider,maybe just some people in the neighbourhood,or when she's walking from school.In May,when i was home with P.S,i remember how he kept on reminding me to be careful with how this uncle Raider takes on to the kids.Oh my God!,and on saturday nite when i was bathing them,and i was bathing Vicky down there,i told her to never let anyone touch her down there,especially a grown up male.She promised she won't.Yesterday when i left home in the morning,Vicky had gone to church,and that gave me hope you know? Like if i can't be able to protect her,or if my mum can't,then God will.

For the record,i can't stop blaming myself for telling my cousin off when she wanted to come drop the kids at my mum's.I keep regreting it over and over.I know if i had taken the kids in,nothing like this would've happened.I couldn't even bring myself up to take the little girl some pictures,as she still has the bruises,one eye is still solemn.We are still wondering what could've gotten into that boy to do that kinda thing to an innocent little girl.I've never felt so helpless.

Please don't ask me how i'm doing right now.Some things you don't believe that they do happen until they are right at your doorstep.I won't be blogging as often as i would've loved.But i promise to pass by people's houses in blogville.My family shall get through,by God's graise.

He's Here Again

2007-07-27T02:11:00.000-07:00

I hear him, before I go to sleep
And focus on the day thats been.
I realise he's there,
When I turn the light off and turn over.

Nobody knows about my man.
They think he's lost on some horizon.
And suddenly I find myself
Listening to a man I've never known before,

Telling me about the sea,
All his love, til eternity.

Ooh, he's here again,
The man with the child in his eyes.
Ooh, hes here again,
The man with the child in his eyes.

He's very understanding,
And he's so aware of all my situations.
And when I stay up late,
He's always waiting, but I feel him hesitate.

Oh, Im so worried about my love.
They say, no, no, it wont last forever.
And here I am again, my girl,
Wondering what on earth I'm doing here.
Maybe he doesn't love me.
I just took a trip on my love for him.

Ooh, he's here again,
The man with the child in his eyes.
Ooh, he's here again,
The man with the child in his eyes.

''To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others''

Gr8 weekend guys...XX

What Is It In A Name?,ie,Name Tag

2007-07-18T04:18:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Hope you guys had a great weekend.Yes weekend,coz i just reported to work like today.So to me today is my monday.We had what we call long weekend.It was President's Holidays monday and tuesday,and Oh God! had my most resting time i ever needed.Yes i'm back with a bang and i been doing the rounds in blogville before i can sit here and bore you with my escapades of the (long)weekend.

It's Tia again.My cousin,Faith came over from college(where she's studying to become a teacher-if i hadn't quit my teacher training thing too,there was gonna be two teachers in my family.Well thats the past now..don't need to cry over spilt milk do i?) Okay yes she came and she and i visited Tia at her house.
You know these days she just wanna be with me all the time,because when she called me monday morning to come over she was like, ''hey wena,you better hurry up,coz i miss you this side''. Ehh? Tia missing me? Wassup with this girl? I think the pregnancy is starting to get to her now.You know how it's like when you pregnant? Dammnit! i'm not refering to the boys and those girls who haven't fallen pregnant before okay? When you are pregnant there are somethings you don't want,you just naturally develop hatred for, you see? There are people you don't wanna see.Like i hated Vicky's dad so much when i was still carrying her(Vicky).There are things you want and don't want to eat.

Oh! again,some people wanted to know what happened after Tia told me that she was pregnant for a married man right? Ermm..well we talked a lot about it.I just told her that it wasn't the baby's problem,and that she wasn't goinno punish that soul for what she(Tia) did.I told her it was gonna be fine.With me,her family and the people who loved her around,everything was goinno be just fine.On the days that followed we ate out a lot coz she always said she was craving for a Wimpy double bugger...that brought a smile to her face everytime she had it,and i figured she was begining to see reason with me,for her to keep that baby.

So hey guys,Tia and i are very much excited about the baby.Hope you are too.See now she's getting that pregnancy complexion,just getting more beautiful everyday.Problem is she gets very moody sometimes! Yes it has already started oo! But you know me now? I know these things.I been there done that,you can put it that way...lol

So when we get to her house,dang! can you believe this? she asks me to cook for her! ''Ah-ah Tia please we just got in,You should've prepared something for your visitors now-abeg''..Holy God! Gues what happened next! She's crying oo! Just because i complained! Oh no! am i goinno start baby-sitting already? with this big mama? Was i really like this with my first pregnancy? i don't remember!

Okay.I decide to abide by the rules now.I don't want her to hurt anymore.Anything she's gonna ask i'll do without complaining.Provided i can.I don't want her to hurt the baby.So i did the cooking(i must admit i'm aint good at this, somebody somewhere knows that i can't do good at this,but i'm learning now,i gues i'll be better the next time we meet) ,she's there gisting with Faith.I've never known Tia could be so talkative.Can somebody really change like that when they fall pregnant?

We are done with eating neh? So now it just happened that we ended up tryina come up with names for the baby.It was a very difficult thing to do.Because we had to come up with 4 names(two Tswana names-girl & boy and two english names-girl & boy).Everytime i tried to say out a name and Tia didn't like it,she'll lash out at me! I donno...one minute she's all over me,the next she wants to kill me! Hee bathong! This girl!
English names are so very easy to pick.You can go sit and meditate in the toilet,then all of a sudden come out screaming Tom,Tim,Ben,Arnold,Peter,Donald,Jerry for boys or waking up from a deep sleep you can shout Lizzy,Emily,Samantha,Mary,Judy for girls.But with our traditional names you have sit and scratch your head because it has to come with a very meaningful meaning.

My middle name is Seane.This just means Proverb,not any proverb in particular,but just that word.Vicky's middle name is Tsholofelo.It means Hope.It's my mum who named her that one.I never came up with any name for her.My mum called her Tsholofelo and her father called her Victoria.Don't ask me why i never named her.And then Jnr's middle name is Thatoyaone.It means God's Love,but again this guy loves me oo! When i'm home he never leaves my side.When they are watching t.v and they are sitting down on the mat,you know how it's like with traditional women,kids don't sit on seats when watching t.v especially when other neighbouring kids are over,so when they are sitting on the mat,Jnr is here by my feet.
And then Jeddah's middle name is Motshidisi,meaning Life Saviour.Dammnit! no wonder he looks out for his brother and sister!

So then in that case you have to be careful which name you came up with because i tried to bring forward Dikeledi,meaning Tears,which is my grandmother's name.Yes i wanted to name Tia's baby after my grandma.She almost broke my neck!

What does your name mean?