Monday, July 30, 2007

I Can't Stop Blaming Myself.

You remember Vicky now ehh? She'll be 8 this christmas

I been trying to put up a smile on my face for the past two weeks.I haven't even told P.S about this one.He's gonna read it from here.

You remember the story i wrote about the two cousins i was staying with in O/town when i was growing up right? The ones i was doing everything for? And about the female one who wanted to come drop her two daughters at home to stay with my mum? And that i told her i have my own bundle to look after? Well the story is HERE for you to read.

I'm gonna narrate this to you slowly so that you understand.After i declined my cousin's request to come leave her daughters with my mum,she went and dropped them off at grandma's in the village.That's where my mum was born.My grandma stays with my mum's youngest sister(my aunt).My grandma's last born.Now she too has got two kids of her own.A boy,19 and a girl 13.That means at the village it's my grandma,my aunt,her two kids and my cousin's two kids(remember the older one is 4 and the younger one is 2 and a half).

I been tryina put on a brave face for the past 14 days because the above 19 year old molested and raped the 2 and a half year old! This is happening at home.Where my mum was born.My maternal home.I didn't wanna write this up or tel P.S about it because we were waiting for the test results for the little girl and the boy and when they came out proven true i felt like dying.People we talking about a 2 year old here and somebody she looked up to as an uncle.A 19 year old for that matter.I donno..maybe the guy has gone insane or something.The journalists from The Voice newspaper were at home on Friday and wanted to publish the story.We chased them out.Please pardon me,i'm not gonna say much about this,just that it's a family matter and i hope we'll be able to solve everything accordingly,with God's help.

Now you might be wondering about Vicky's picture on top.Everytime i go home,the kids never stop talking about how their 'uncle Raider' gave them money and bought them goodies.Well uncle Raider is my mum's friend.But i haven't met him face to face.I only know about him from the kids.

It's might sound stupid,but after this incident it keeps occuring to me that something like that might happen to Vicky.Looking at how my cousin is doing right now,i just can't bring myself to think about how i would feel if anything of the sort happened to my girl.It might not be uncle Raider,maybe just some people in the neighbourhood,or when she's walking from school.In May,when i was home with P.S,i remember how he kept on reminding me to be careful with how this uncle Raider takes on to the kids.Oh my God!,and on saturday nite when i was bathing them,and i was bathing Vicky down there,i told her to never let anyone touch her down there,especially a grown up male.She promised she won't.Yesterday when i left home in the morning,Vicky had gone to church,and that gave me hope you know? Like if i can't be able to protect her,or if my mum can't,then God will.

For the record,i can't stop blaming myself for telling my cousin off when she wanted to come drop the kids at my mum's.I keep regreting it over and over.I know if i had taken the kids in,nothing like this would've happened.I couldn't even bring myself up to take the little girl some pictures,as she still has the bruises,one eye is still solemn.We are still wondering what could've gotten into that boy to do that kinda thing to an innocent little girl.I've never felt so helpless.

Please don't ask me how i'm doing right now.Some things you don't believe that they do happen until they are right at your doorstep.I won't be blogging as often as i would've loved.But i promise to pass by people's houses in blogville.My family shall get through,by God's graise.

Friday, July 27, 2007

He's Here Again

I hear him, before I go to sleep
And focus on the day thats been.
I realise he's there,
When I turn the light off and turn over.

Nobody knows about my man.
They think he's lost on some horizon.
And suddenly I find myself
Listening to a man I've never known before,

Telling me about the sea,
All his love, til eternity.

Ooh, he's here again,
The man with the child in his eyes.
Ooh, hes here again,
The man with the child in his eyes.

He's very understanding,
And he's so aware of all my situations.
And when I stay up late,
He's always waiting, but I feel him hesitate.

Oh, Im so worried about my love.
They say, no, no, it wont last forever.
And here I am again, my girl,
Wondering what on earth I'm doing here.
Maybe he doesn't love me.
I just took a trip on my love for him.

Ooh, he's here again,
The man with the child in his eyes.
Ooh, he's here again,
The man with the child in his eyes.

''To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others''

Gr8 weekend guys...XX

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

What Is It In A Name?,ie,Name Tag

Hi everyone! Hope you guys had a great weekend.Yes weekend,coz i just reported to work like today.So to me today is my monday.We had what we call long weekend.It was President's Holidays monday and tuesday,and Oh God! had my most resting time i ever needed.Yes i'm back with a bang and i been doing the rounds in blogville before i can sit here and bore you with my escapades of the (long)weekend.

It's Tia again.My cousin,Faith came over from college(where she's studying to become a teacher-if i hadn't quit my teacher training thing too,there was gonna be two teachers in my family.Well thats the past now..don't need to cry over spilt milk do i?) Okay yes she came and she and i visited Tia at her house.
You know these days she just wanna be with me all the time,because when she called me monday morning to come over she was like, ''hey wena,you better hurry up,coz i miss you this side''. Ehh? Tia missing me? Wassup with this girl? I think the pregnancy is starting to get to her now.You know how it's like when you pregnant? Dammnit! i'm not refering to the boys and those girls who haven't fallen pregnant before okay? When you are pregnant there are somethings you don't want,you just naturally develop hatred for, you see? There are people you don't wanna see.Like i hated Vicky's dad so much when i was still carrying her(Vicky).There are things you want and don't want to eat.

Oh! again,some people wanted to know what happened after Tia told me that she was pregnant for a married man right? Ermm..well we talked a lot about it.I just told her that it wasn't the baby's problem,and that she wasn't goinno punish that soul for what she(Tia) did.I told her it was gonna be fine.With me,her family and the people who loved her around,everything was goinno be just fine.On the days that followed we ate out a lot coz she always said she was craving for a Wimpy double bugger...that brought a smile to her face everytime she had it,and i figured she was begining to see reason with me,for her to keep that baby.

So hey guys,Tia and i are very much excited about the baby.Hope you are too.See now she's getting that pregnancy complexion,just getting more beautiful everyday.Problem is she gets very moody sometimes! Yes it has already started oo! But you know me now? I know these things.I been there done that,you can put it that way...lol

So when we get to her house,dang! can you believe this? she asks me to cook for her! ''Ah-ah Tia please we just got in,You should've prepared something for your visitors now-abeg''..Holy God! Gues what happened next! She's crying oo! Just because i complained! Oh no! am i goinno start baby-sitting already? with this big mama? Was i really like this with my first pregnancy? i don't remember!

Okay.I decide to abide by the rules now.I don't want her to hurt anymore.Anything she's gonna ask i'll do without complaining.Provided i can.I don't want her to hurt the baby.So i did the cooking(i must admit i'm aint good at this, somebody somewhere knows that i can't do good at this,but i'm learning now,i gues i'll be better the next time we meet) ,she's there gisting with Faith.I've never known Tia could be so talkative.Can somebody really change like that when they fall pregnant?

We are done with eating neh? So now it just happened that we ended up tryina come up with names for the baby.It was a very difficult thing to do.Because we had to come up with 4 names(two Tswana names-girl & boy and two english names-girl & boy).Everytime i tried to say out a name and Tia didn't like it,she'll lash out at me! I donno...one minute she's all over me,the next she wants to kill me! Hee bathong! This girl!
English names are so very easy to pick.You can go sit and meditate in the toilet,then all of a sudden come out screaming Tom,Tim,Ben,Arnold,Peter,Donald,Jerry for boys or waking up from a deep sleep you can shout Lizzy,Emily,Samantha,Mary,Judy for girls.But with our traditional names you have sit and scratch your head because it has to come with a very meaningful meaning.

My middle name is Seane.This just means Proverb,not any proverb in particular,but just that word.Vicky's middle name is Tsholofelo.It means Hope.It's my mum who named her that one.I never came up with any name for her.My mum called her Tsholofelo and her father called her Victoria.Don't ask me why i never named her.And then Jnr's middle name is Thatoyaone.It means God's Love,but again this guy loves me oo! When i'm home he never leaves my side.When they are watching t.v and they are sitting down on the mat,you know how it's like with traditional women,kids don't sit on seats when watching t.v especially when other neighbouring kids are over,so when they are sitting on the mat,Jnr is here by my feet.
And then Jeddah's middle name is Motshidisi,meaning Life Saviour.Dammnit! no wonder he looks out for his brother and sister!

So then in that case you have to be careful which name you came up with because i tried to bring forward Dikeledi,meaning Tears,which is my grandmother's name.Yes i wanted to name Tia's baby after my grandma.She almost broke my neck!

What does your name mean?

Saturday, July 07, 2007

This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in a while. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

GAUTENG:
When you rearrange the letters:
GET A GUN

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER